POCD,+18 please, need of help I keep thinking abt when I was like 17 I used to go on amino to roleplay ships I like,and I'm freaked out now over it because even though I never did sexual rp before I still did rp that was in a romantic setting and I'm worried if anyone I ever roleplayed with was massively younger than me and I just didn't care or didn't put in effort to notice. I have a memory of doing a short roleplay with someone and feeling uncomfortable about it and i don't know if it was because I just felt shy or they were young and I was uncomfortable but doing it anyways. A long while back I went to the amino again and checked all my followers and tried to find who I roleplayed with going off of what I remembered their pfp being and the one I thought seemed most similiar was someone who was 20 and all the rest didn't list their age but im worried what if they unfollowed me and did say their age. It all makes me freaked out because there was this thing where a 20 something dude said it was OK he roleplayed nsfw w minors because he didn't want to seem rude by saying no when they suggested it and I don't want to be as bad as that guy is and i never did anything sexual but I'm still scared it's just as bad if it's roleplaying a romantic relationship and I had that memory of feeling uncomfortable but not wanting to seem rude by not interacting. I dont know if it's a false memory or not and idk if it is. I just know when I was spiraling and checking all my social media I deleted a chat w a ship rp w/o checking and I've been freaked since.

18+ When I was in high school (16 or 17), I hung out with the popular kids of school... they send me this popular girl (who was in our school) explicit photo on snap because I was curious to see it... after I turned 19, I suddenly remembered my friends sent the photo and asked them to delete it off of the chat, as I didn't want to be in possession of any form of illegal material... Fast forward to later... my friend had broken up with his ex and wanted to send us explicit pics of her... curious at the time, I asked to see it and he sent the group (including me) some pictures... Now that Im 24, I remember him sending these pics and asked him to take down the pics in our snapchat convo... I didnt want any pics of their ex because this was harmful content... my friend, (the one who sent our friend group explicit vids and pics of his ex) told me that there was a one month period between him and her when they were in a relationship where he was 18 and she was 17 )... they were together for 1-2 years... and they were explicit throughout their whole relationship ... including the one month period... so i was getting extremely anxious and triggered about him sending me potentially illegal stuff... i think i misheard him say she was 17... but i cant remember if he said this or not... I asked him several times over the course of three days after he casually admitted he had a 1 month age period with her, (he was 18 and she was 17 during that one month) if she was over 18 when he made those videos, and he kept giving me answers like "Yes" And "It was a month after she turned 18..." He even got frustrated on the second day of me asking and said "Dude, this is the 10th time you've asked me and yes she was." On the third day I asked him, he said "yeah" when i said his previous comments of "a month after she turned 18, right?" back to him, and he even added that "we started getting more explicitly active around this time." He also told me "Even if she was under the age of 18, you wouldn't be in trouble because you were sent it." Yesterday, I called him again and apologized for asking so much... to which he responded... "I was hoping you'd realize this has been excessive..." But then I asked him if she really was 18 in those videos or not... he got frustrated and said... "Dude, you cant keep apologizing over and over, before asking me again..." Still, I asked him to confirm it for me one last time, to which he replied... "She was 18 in those videos..." I keep getting anxious because I dont know if he's lying or not and its triggering me really bad, not to mention feeling guilty about the harm I had caused... I genuinely feel so guilty and awful about this... I hurt people... and I cant sleep at night knowing I did... People say you make mistakes when you were a teen... these were some of my mistakes... I genuinely feel horrible and I cant sleep at night knowing the guilt of my actions are still there... I genuinely feel awful... I hope people dont hate me after reading this... i hope you dont block me... you've all been so genuinely kind and encouraging to me... and I dont want to lose someone who cares about me on here... (edited)

UPDATE: I couldnt do it... i couldnt stop posting... this situation is too triggering and thinking about the worst possible outcome scares me... in the past, I have been catfished by a man pretending to be a woman, had a minor on a dating app who lied about her age and i unknowingly flirted with her because I assumed she was 18+ and her bio said so, and sent an 18+ pic to a "woman" online who now I suspect of being a catfish... this is the reason why I'm so scared of whether or not I unknowingly inappropriately chatted with a minor without knowing... it genuinely scares me... Its making me think that I unknowingly inappropriately chatted with a minor in the past without knowing and it genuinely triggers me... I have tried to go back through most 18+ online interactions ive had with women online to make sure they didnt lie or they confirmed their age... i have two situations on discord that trigger me that ive posted about in the past... and a couple have deleted their discords so thats triggering me really bad... most who deleted their discords were verified but still... why delete your discord, you know...? for context i was on 18+ explicit discord servers meant for sex that you cant just join regularly on iPhone due to it being for adults only... Ive also been to a website dedicated to adult 18+ literature... they also have an 18+ chat room where you can talk to other users... i know ive made stupid mistakes going on here... i wont deny that... and now im paying for it with the uncertainty... veterans of the site, who have been on there for over 9 years, have told me that the chances of a minor lying about their age and coming onto the chat portion of the website are rare... but it still triggers me all the same... Im scared of someone one day in the future accusing me of doing horrible things like unknowingly inappropriately messaging minors, or have my worst fears of unknowingly explicitly messaging a minor confirmed to have happened and I didnt know about it...

Twtw Feel sick Back when I was 21 I roleplayed with someone onlineand I can't remember whether or not I asked them their age first or if it was them or me that initiated it. Anyway like the next day they sent me a pic and I asked wait are u an adult because I panicked because they looked young. They said yes and the next or a few weeks after that soon they'd turn nineteen. I felt relieved and kept in contact with them but continuously felt uneasy about the whole thing. There were times when I should have reached out to their friends to ask if this person lied to me or not but I didn't. I kept asking this person if they were an adult and they kept saying yes. However I kept growing more and more suspicious because of their behavior and because still they looked young. Ig the part that's scariest is that on September 15 ( I started talking to them end July and kept interacting with them until either October or November) I searched what the average age is of a high schooler ( or graduate) in the UK. Because apparently they were still in school. And the search said sixteen. I found out recently that in the UK tho some people go for an additional two years like college or college prep idkThat same day I asked them ( can't remember if it was before or after I searched this) if they were actually 18 or I asked them if I had asked them if they were 18 before we roleplayed.(or both can't remember) Also it was weird because when I told them I didn't want to roleplay anymore they freaked out and said they we're actually going to turn 20 soon. . I feel awful and disgusting. I know now this( was four years ago) that I would be a lot more vigilant if I was single and trying to mingle I just feel really gross. I feel like I need to confess more details of this to my bf. He's heard the basics but not all the details. I feel awful.