So before hocd hit i was in females all the time and I didn't think guy were attractive at all ya heard, but I've been dealing with this ocd cycle for 7-8 months now and my thoughts are a little weird. So when I see an attractive guy I just kinda see him as good looking or i acknowledge to my myself that he's a good looking guy and I move on but all of a sudden my brain does like a 180 and my heart starts pounding and I get a little scared(only because I've been dealing with this for awhile)and I just ask myself do I want this guy or do I not then my mind starts putting myself in sexual situations were i have absolutely no desire in and I get a little bit disgusted. I get images of guys a lot and I just say to myself "why can't it just be women". I've even searched up hocd videos about how there is no other gay self and you know who you are at a young age and since I can remember I've only had crushes on girls and girls only. Before ocd in general I wanted a wife and kids and to this day I still somewhat fantaisie About it because it's what I desire and when I try to pair it with my unwanted thoughts I just don't feel the same. It's just so weird you know and all I'm asking is for exposers because this week has been very good because i felt like my old self again.

I have experienced the exact same feeling. I am a woman who has only ever identified as straight, but With HOCD your Brain convinces you of things you have never wanted or felt before. I have felt that panicked heartbeat when I begin to doubt my sexuality, Which turns into sometimes hours of mental rituals in which I try to prove my thoughts wrong. HOCD is one of my most prominent and difficult “cycles” of ocd. But for myself I have learned my OCD relates best when I tell my brain to accept those thoughts and to be OK with the uncertainty. I think of it as facing my fears and to truly rid myself of those thoughts and the uncomfortable feelings that are associated with them I have to “face them “. Stay strong! It may sound cliché but OCD does not define you!

I completely understand. When these thoughts first started I was afraid to go out and I would stay in my room in fear of other women. My friend, who experiences hocd as well, told me that no matter how hard it is, you have to tell yourself “well, if I am gay, then it’s okay”. It’s seems really hard but you have to expose yourself to it and reassure yourself that whatever happens everything will be okay. Don’t think too much into when you’re saying it to youself either. I hope thifns get better for you, remember to take it one day at a time <3

Ocd attacks our fears and pushes the “what if’s” to make us more afraid. But what if we start saying “okay, what if I am gay, that’s okay if I am” these thoughts will diminish once you start fighting them and fearing outcomes. Ocd wants us to feel shame and guilt, but if there’s no shame and guilt then what is there to fear. I’m trying to take my own advice as I type this out. I hope this helped you and did not trigger you! I hope you feel better, I truly do!! <3

I meant to say once we stop fearing the outcomes*