- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
I know EXACTLY what you mean - and I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’m still trying to figure it out myself. I get so obsessed with my boyfriends past and ex girlfriends- with paranoia that they are better than me, or that he’ll leave me for them. What helps, and what my therapist has suggested, is instead of asking for the reassurance, have him distract you by having you describe something you know well. Such as your favorite blanket, your pet, his face, etc. Along with that- and this may sound silly, but whenever I have an OCD thought of paranoia, I have my boyfriend tickle me!! It changes the mood around the thought, and makes me realize how silly I’m being! My therapist loves that strategy as well. Best of luck- and remember! Just breathe and remember how much you two love one another.
- Date posted
- 6y
I’m Sure you know/have studied that Affirmation seeking is in fact the same as reassurance seeking. Reassurance seeking is a compulsion that provides Temporary relief of anxiety. We should learn to live w anxiety/uncertainty of “forever” as the uncertainty of “Everyday”. They say r-ocd is healed the same way as other ocd themes. E R P :). How did u cure the other rituals? Do the same! :) hopefully w guidance of a therapist or coach you trust :-). Sending you love!! I know this must be hard to deal w. I’ve lived it (from the other side ) and it’s no picnic. But worth it definitely ! If we love our partners !!!!
- Date posted
- 6y
akali (Geneva)- I’ve been experiencing ROCD for a year now too. This is my first relationship, probably why my OCD has ramped up. My boyfriend is my soulmate but of course ROCD causes me to doubt that. I don’t have sexual thoughts with my OCD currently but I’m always here to help :)
- Date posted
- 6y
Geneva- you’re awesome! Thank you for taking the time to reply. I like your ideas. I’ll have to bring them up to him. How long have you been experiencing ROCD?
- Date posted
- 6y
starfire- thank you! And I think the only thing that has helped me is challenging the thoughts and “quitting” the ritual. I guess I’m just struggling because now someone else is in the picture, not just me. My boyfriend is my partner, and when I suffer, he suffers. He wants to help me through it, and my OCD tricks me EVERYTIME! He understands my OCD, but he does get impatient sometimes... rightfully so! It’s such a frustrating thing to deal with. How long have you been on the other side of it?
- Date posted
- 6y
I have this same problem. I constantly think my partner is going to cheat. She has not shown any signs of it. But I just CANNOT trust her. And it makes me hate her! I hate this feeling :(
- Date posted
- 6y
(It’s me Geneva again! I changed my username and avatar) I’ve been experiencing ROCD for about a year now! My ocd is mainly sexual- which as I’m sure you can imagine can definitely amplify my ROCD at times.
- Date posted
- 6y
j289l- If she has not shown any signs of cheating on you, focus on the reasons WHY you should trust her.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 18w
I am at a very difficult spot in my relationship. My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years, and I have a history of cheating that for years we’ve been trying to work through. To me, it makes a lot of sense that my OCD has attached itself to this and for the last few years I’ve experienced intrusive sexual thoughts of others and relationship ocd. I have been open to him about the content of my thoughts and now, with a proper diagnosis of an anxiety disorder, I am able to reframe them and work through them with ERP so that my brain will *hopefully* get bored and stop sending them. But, things have not been easy. As a result of this and everything in our past, he has become anxious about all the scenarios where I could be having sexualized thoughts about other people. To him, if I am thinking something utterly different than what I am telling him or acting like to him, he can’t fully trust it. And of course, I can imagine how difficult it is to know your life partner is sexualizing others in her brain and to be able find a way to dismiss them as unthreatening, especially when past mistakes say otherwise. Is there anyone that has gone through this with a partner? And other than repeatedly explaining the egodystonic nature of my thoughts and providing reassurance, what are some things you did that helped them? Any advice helps! Thank you
- Date posted
- 16w
Hi all, I’m F(20) and I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend M(20) for 10 months now. Lately it feels like I’ve been getting triggered at the tiniest thing. My relationship OCD is centered around the idea that my bf will leave me, that suddenly his feelings will change and he’ll never look back. Inherently I know this is irrational and I know he loves me very much (as he tells me repeatedly when I compulsively ask for reassurance). I just can’t make my brain stop. I just feel so unsecured. He will mention that one of his friends drove an hour to see him for only 30 minutes. I will then spiral that I am not possibly doing enough and it’s because he’s secretly done with me and he’s longing for a reason to leave and go be with this friend instead. See? Truly irrational. But I cannot stop it. Any tips at all? Maybe I’m at least not alone in this. I often feel literally insane:(
- Date posted
- 12w
Hi everyone, I’ve already been diagnosed with OCD, and I strongly suspect that I’ve developed a ROCD pattern. I wanted to share a specific situation that just won’t leave me alone – even though it’s objectively been cleared up. I’m in a relationship with a man who is, by nature, a very transparent, honest, and loyal person. Rationally, I know I can trust him. Recently, he got a phone call while I was with him. I asked him to check who it was. He hesitated briefly and then checked kind of slowly – the number wasn’t saved. To me, the whole thing just felt a bit strange. It didn’t seem like “open behavior,” even though he told me afterward that he simply didn’t have the energy to deal with it, since he had generally had a bad day. The problem is: Even after this explanation – which makes sense – the thoughts won’t go away. I keep replaying the situation in my head, analyzing his reaction, wondering if that hesitation meant something – even though I know he didn’t do anything wrong. I feel like I need to bring it up again to feel at ease. But I also know that would only bring temporary relief, and then the cycle would start all over again. It feels just like other OCD loops – only this time, it’s centered around my relationship. Have any of you experienced something like this? How do you stop yourself from falling into the reassurance trap over and over again? I don’t want to overwhelm or hurt my partner unnecessarily – I just want to learn how to manage this inner tension better. did it sound like ocd?? Rocd?? Thanks for reading. It really helps to know I’m not alone. (edited)
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