Advice please! I have OCD, and it’s wormed it’s way to my relationship. It particularly revolves around social media, trust and the security of being together “forever”. I whole heartedly trust my partner. However, we all know that OCD causes doubt in the most rational things. Lately, if I get an irrational thought, I ask my partner if it’s true or not true, I get the affirmation I need, and then I feel intense guilt. The cycle begins again because I feel insecure for asking such questions, How do I work through these nagging thoughts and not bring my boyfriend into it? I get super impulsive and just ask him to reassure me. When I don’t ask him and challenge the thought, I’m really moody with him. I’ve had OCD my entire life and have “cured” other obsessions/rituals but for some reason, this one is tough, since another person is involved. Any advice?!

I know EXACTLY what you mean - and I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’m still trying to figure it out myself. I get so obsessed with my boyfriends past and ex girlfriends- with paranoia that they are better than me, or that he’ll leave me for them. What helps, and what my therapist has suggested, is instead of asking for the reassurance, have him distract you by having you describe something you know well. Such as your favorite blanket, your pet, his face, etc. Along with that- and this may sound silly, but whenever I have an OCD thought of paranoia, I have my boyfriend tickle me!! It changes the mood around the thought, and makes me realize how silly I’m being! My therapist loves that strategy as well. Best of luck- and remember! Just breathe and remember how much you two love one another.

I’m Sure you know/have studied that Affirmation seeking is in fact the same as reassurance seeking. Reassurance seeking is a compulsion that provides Temporary relief of anxiety. We should learn to live w anxiety/uncertainty of “forever” as the uncertainty of “Everyday”. They say r-ocd is healed the same way as other ocd themes. E R P :). How did u cure the other rituals? Do the same! :) hopefully w guidance of a therapist or coach you trust :-). Sending you love!! I know this must be hard to deal w. I’ve lived it (from the other side ) and it’s no picnic. But worth it definitely ! If we love our partners !!!!

akali (Geneva)- I’ve been experiencing ROCD for a year now too. This is my first relationship, probably why my OCD has ramped up. My boyfriend is my soulmate but of course ROCD causes me to doubt that. I don’t have sexual thoughts with my OCD currently but I’m always here to help :)

Geneva- you’re awesome! Thank you for taking the time to reply. I like your ideas. I’ll have to bring them up to him. How long have you been experiencing ROCD?

starfire- thank you! And I think the only thing that has helped me is challenging the thoughts and “quitting” the ritual. I guess I’m just struggling because now someone else is in the picture, not just me. My boyfriend is my partner, and when I suffer, he suffers. He wants to help me through it, and my OCD tricks me EVERYTIME! He understands my OCD, but he does get impatient sometimes... rightfully so! It’s such a frustrating thing to deal with. How long have you been on the other side of it?

I have this same problem. I constantly think my partner is going to cheat. She has not shown any signs of it. But I just CANNOT trust her. And it makes me hate her! I hate this feeling :(

(It’s me Geneva again! I changed my username and avatar) I’ve been experiencing ROCD for about a year now! My ocd is mainly sexual- which as I’m sure you can imagine can definitely amplify my ROCD at times.

j289l- If she has not shown any signs of cheating on you, focus on the reasons WHY you should trust her.