- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Hi! I used to walk around with my arms and hands bound in my sleeves or purposely hold things in both hands to ensure there was no way my arms would “go rogue” and hit someone or to prove to myself I didn’t steal something unconsciously in the dollar store. It was terrible. One day I was in the elevator and I asked a family member if I bumped into someone in the lobby and she said something like, “oh yeah, you kicked that old lady right in the shins.” It was such a ridiculous and unexpected response that I just started laughing. I think that response and the laughter broke the ocd cycle of thinking and I was able to get out of the loop of worry and doubt. Maybe something like this could help you. To find some humor in it. I know how horrible and real and confusing it feels. I don’t want to lessen the severity of your experiences. I just wanted to share this because it helped me.
- Date posted
- 4y
Wow
- Date posted
- 4y
Humor helps OCD, thank you for sharing, I appreciate it <3
- Date posted
- 4y
im so sorry 😔. im gonna provide reassurance for a quick moment and say that psychopaths are not scared of being around people and use them as gadgets for their own amusement. you are clearly afraid of this being a possibility, and i cant diagnose but you seem to be going through OCD. what you’re doing right now is avoidance which is a form of compulsion. it’s going to be very hard, but you really should immerse yourself in social situations with people. the urges may be there, and the intrusive images may be there when you’re with people, but it’s best not to react to them or analyze them
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you :( yea it is so hard, I just hope it’s OCD because this feels way too different ..
- Date posted
- 4y
i also have harm ocd. i still get intrusive images and urges from time to time (pretty rarely) especially around my mom or my cat. however, i have become so desensitized, they dont bother me anymore. hopefully you can use spending time with people as a form of erp, and with time your brain can become desensitized to these thoughts. the frequency and intensity of the thoughts will decrease too if you perform erp regularly
- Date posted
- 4y
I’m glad you got over this, thank you for your words :) I’ll try my best to beat this monster
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
i’m having a full on panic attack, i never used to be like this, what tf is happening to me, why am i like this, i’m so convinced i’m a horrible person and i deserve to be shut out forever because of my thoughts, i’m tired of struggling with harm ocd, i’m scared that because i have mental health issues i’m gonna end up ki!!ing someone someday or end up on the news, when i was at work earlier i kept thinking “how easy would it be to ki!! someone and get away with it” someone help, i don’t feel normal, am i crazy?… 😭😭i know that with ocd you’re not supposed to have reassurance and you have to be “okay” with the situation but.. how am i supposed to be okay with feeling like i could hurt someone…
- Date posted
- 20w
I'm at my college and don't feel like being here. I didn't even want to come here. I woke up with anxiety bc i feel like i need to solve this. I had a bad stomach ache when i arrived to school and still havent even eaten breakfast yet bc i feel like i have to solve this. Im just so worried bc i have harm thoughts daily. If i could i would remove this! I dont want to think anymore. Its just, how do I know i dont have real urges when I'm feeling a negative emotion like anger or disappointment or annoyance? Im worried EVERY time i feel a negative emotion. Yesterday I was playing video games with my neice (we are close in age range) and she made us lose. She started blaming me and I guess i felt a little annoyed, it really wasnt my fault (dumb mini argument it was more playful since we started laughing but it was a bit annoying). Anyway i got a harm thought while feeling annoyed of me getting off the couch and lunging at her to attack. I immediately look at my bodily reaction and I tense up to stay as still as possible. My stomach was hurting and i wanted to leave as fast as possible. I stood up and turned off the game and said i was tired while making sure to stay back from her (and i had my hands away and stiff) but i felt so uneasy. I laid I bed and felt sad and heavy. And i kept getting thoughts that said "íts only a matter of time before you can't take it anymore". I started to reassurance seek using ai to ask if i was about to or if they are real urges or thoughts i mean until i eventually fell asleep in the middle of the compulsion. Im just so worried, what if I act out impulsevly one day? I dont want to! But what if when feeling a negative emotion, i suddenly dont care and do something? I really dont want to! I dont even want to feel negative emotions anymore since they trigger the thoughts and I dont want to think about any of that. As a result i tend to avoid my family as much as possible bc they are annoying sometimes. I just wish i was all alone sometimes so i wont get any more thoughts and so everyone can be safe. I usually just stay in bed under my blankets all day long to avoid my family and pets. I am constantly uncomfortable. I miss when i would never think any of this. Living life has become very scary for me now. 😞
- Date posted
- 19w
Around 10 years ago when I started getting violent OCD intrusive thoughts, I also started fearing that I was a sociopath. I began overanalyzing everything — especially my emotions. It's like if I could prove I had emotions it proved I wasn't a sociopath. I care deeply about my family — I worry about them, I want them to be safe and happy, I want them to get theit deepest desires — but I don’t know what love "feels" like, if its supposed to feel like anything. People describe love as this warm, obvious, fuzzy emotion, but I don’t experience it the way I think I’m supposed to. Is it supposed to be intense? Constant? Loud? Because I’m not sure I’ve ever felt that. My family isn’t very emotionally expressive either. I cherish hugs from them when I get them, I initiate most hugs with my parents (but I don't like hugs from other people, like co workers) but overall my family doesnt show affection much, and that’s made me question if I’m even capable of love. I overanalyze my feelings constantly — especially after realizing I don’t feel connected to God in the way my old church said I should. I don’t love God. I don’t feel anything toward Him — we’ve never met obviously so I just never got a connection with Him. But growing up, that felt like a sin in itself. As a teen, I felt ashamed knowing I cared more for my parents than for God, especially when church messages said God had to come first. There’s a song by Mary Mary that says, “I love you more than my mother, my father…” and it used to make me feel broken. My feelings were in direct contradiction with what I was taught, and that shame never fully left me. OCD latched onto that hard. It’s only after a coworker passed away — and I found myself crying multiple times over it — that I realized I do care deeply for people. But even that realization felt pathetic. Why did I need such an extreme moment to feel something “real”? & why didn't I care for another creepy bigoted co worker when his son was sick? I felt nothing. I’m scared my OCD is convincing me that I’m heartless, even though I want connection. I crave love. I like hugs. It’s exhausting and terrifying to doubt my own humanity like this. I hate this fear. I hate that I don’t trust myself. I hate that OCD makes me question my morality, my emotions — everything that makes me me. Has anyone else experienced anything like this? How do I even explain this to a therapist
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