I am tired of thinking and feeling like I’m a psychopath. I haven’t done anything wrong to anyone but I would still feel that way. It is so hard living with the possibility that I might act out any second. I’ve also came into an isolation. I avoid going to school, because I when I’m around people I would feel like I’m a freaking psychopath between of all the innocent people. Which makes it even harder is not being able to tell if I’m capable to harm others or not, so its so hard for me to interact with my family because I can’t tell if I’m gonna act out or not. Which makes me wanna stay in my room all day. So not knowing if I’m capable makes me feel like I won’t be normal ever again, because if I ever hang out with more people, will I be trying to figure out whether I’m capable of harming them or not, every single second? Who kind of person does that? That is definitely the most disturbing part, not knowing if I’m capable of harm. Or if I will be able to live without all this, maybe I will want to act on this in the future. So feeling like I might act out any moment, like I’m already a psychopath, sometimes feeling like I’m capable, it makes it so difficult to live. I feel so overwhelmed by this.

Hi! I used to walk around with my arms and hands bound in my sleeves or purposely hold things in both hands to ensure there was no way my arms would “go rogue” and hit someone or to prove to myself I didn’t steal something unconsciously in the dollar store. It was terrible. One day I was in the elevator and I asked a family member if I bumped into someone in the lobby and she said something like, “oh yeah, you kicked that old lady right in the shins.” It was such a ridiculous and unexpected response that I just started laughing. I think that response and the laughter broke the ocd cycle of thinking and I was able to get out of the loop of worry and doubt. Maybe something like this could help you. To find some humor in it. I know how horrible and real and confusing it feels. I don’t want to lessen the severity of your experiences. I just wanted to share this because it helped me.

im so sorry 😔. im gonna provide reassurance for a quick moment and say that psychopaths are not scared of being around people and use them as gadgets for their own amusement. you are clearly afraid of this being a possibility, and i cant diagnose but you seem to be going through OCD. what you’re doing right now is avoidance which is a form of compulsion. it’s going to be very hard, but you really should immerse yourself in social situations with people. the urges may be there, and the intrusive images may be there when you’re with people, but it’s best not to react to them or analyze them

i also have harm ocd. i still get intrusive images and urges from time to time (pretty rarely) especially around my mom or my cat. however, i have become so desensitized, they dont bother me anymore. hopefully you can use spending time with people as a form of erp, and with time your brain can become desensitized to these thoughts. the frequency and intensity of the thoughts will decrease too if you perform erp regularly