Hey guys so lately I’ve been doing okay at not ruminating. I’m allowed to ruminate only at 9 pm. But it scares me that I’m doing okay not ruminating, because it is literally supposed to feel like hell! And I’ve been ruminating a bit less for only 3 days! I’m worried this must not be OCD and I’ve been fooling myself all along. It also makes me so disturbed to be with my family and feel the thoughts coming in, (they’re harmful thoughts towards my family), so my brain starts doubting and asking me: okay so are you going to stand up and do it? Or are you just going to your room? And it makes me so uncomfortable because I don’t know the answer. Right now I’m in my room. I didn’t do anything. But my brain would tell me: are you sure about the decision you made? Maybe that was not the decision you wanted but you took it anyways. I’m even surprised I haven’t acted on my thoughts because I’ve really felt like I could have, or like I am ignoring to act on them but might do it any moment. So now I feel so confused and disturbed. These horrible scenarios really overwhelm me and the fact that they feel so possible, that I don’t know if I’m capable of doing them/ if I’m going to do them, is the worst.

Harm OCD

c.cat

Date posted: 4y

I truly wish I had more advice to offer, but I’m currently in the same spot as you. My anxiety has lessened and I’m able to catch myself ruminating more and getting a hold on it but now I’m in this horrible loop, just like you. What I’m trying right now is just continuing on accepting the uncertainty; saying “maybe, maybe not”. To the thoughts. It’s supposed to help even though it feels terrifying doing that because it almost feels like agreeing with the thoughts. But really, it’s just accepting that there is uncertainty around these thoughts and that’s the only thing that needs to be accepted. I know, easier said than done cause I’m still struggling with it. But we got this!!

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

I’m sorry you’re in the same spot as me, it’s really disturbing, but I know we got this. Don’t worry, I would give you the same advice, your thoughts will try everything to drag you into the loop, but don’t fall for it, as scary as they might seem!

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

I'm in the same place. "Maybe, maybe not" is so hard when it's attacking the things I cherish

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

Yeah OCD sucks bc it attacks what we value the most

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

I have to say. I admire all of you on this feed. To bad we can't sit in a room together and talk! Sending all of you virtual hugs

3littlebirds

Date posted: 4y

I have the same thing. Just sit with it and don’t try to find and answer. Move according to your values. You love your family so act on that. When things feel fuzzy and scary it’s ok just push through, maybe time yourself until you feel your anxiety level decrease

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

I’m sorry you have the same thing, you got this. And thank you for your advice, what I worry about is that I might not have OCD since I’m not having such a bad time without ruminating. But thank you, everything goes well until these thoughts fill my head, it’s frustrating

3littlebirds

Date posted: 4y

@Anonymous Ocd will make you doubt everything, don’t try to find certainty, because eventually that certainty won’t be enough. Be ok with being uncertain, and then the thoughts will decrease. Everyone has intrusive thoughts, people with ocd just have a disordered way of dealing with it. You will be ok :)

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

@Anonymous Yeah it sucks living with uncertainty, it feels so uncomfortable and like something is not going alright . I hope that feeling fades away with time, thank you <3

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

I have OCD fatigue

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