SilentlyBattling
- Date posted
- 4y
kimhopekimhope
- Date posted
- 4y
"Have you always been gay? What about the crushes you had? "They were all boys." "But what if that was just comphet? What if you are deeply closeted? "
MelodyocdMelodyocd
- Date posted
- 4y
The whole comphet thing is what’s keeping me in this ocd loop rn :(
PinkLotusPinkLotus
- Date posted
- 4y
Me right now with my friend “Don’t look at her directly...what it you notice her lips or face and want to kiss her” “Do I wanna kiss her?” *intrusive thoughts about kissing her* *groinals* “She said something relatable and I understand her better as a friend, does this mean I like her?” “Do I wanna be with someone like her?” And the cycle continues
SilentlyBattlingSilentlyBatt...
- Date posted
- 4y
I was around a friend once where the thought of kissing them and then the impulse/urge came up, and it really bugged me.
PinkLotusPinkLotus
- Date posted
- 4y
@SilentlyBattling It comes up everytime I’m with friends :/
Jbm421Jbm421
- Date posted
- 4y
@SilentlyBattling Friends and even family. I've been triggered like that around so many family members, even my own brothers and dad...😔
JustmesadlyJustmesadly
- Date posted
- 4y
You’re not alone
wyattthedudewyattthedude
- Date posted
- 4y
Here’s the thing! This never freaked you out until you starting obsessing over it. Live with the thoughts and act how you were before this started.
SilentlyBattlingSilentlyBatt...
- Date posted
- 4y
I also want to point out that I don’t believe thinking someone is attractive is a reflection of your sexuality. I’m a male and think Brad Pitt is a handsome man, that Tom Holland has that “baby face/cute” look girls love. I don’t feel those thoughts have any reflection on my sexual preference.
Jbm421Jbm421
- Date posted
- 4y
Absolutely. Look, I'm a gym rat and this shit will take any dude with any type of muscle and focus on it to make it as if I want that crap. But this thing will twist anything and make it seem much bigger than it has any right to be and of course you miss out on your own life as a result. Its exhausting.
lkkkk1234lkkkk1234
- Date posted
- 4y
A lot of the time my intrusive thoughts are just images of people, mostly gay people and then it’s like you find her attractive don’t u
Jbm421Jbm421
- Date posted
- 4y
Everything you just wrote!!!! Plus,... "Was that a checking compulsion or was I really looking at the guy? "You're avoiding looking at this or that guy or avoiding watching this show or that movie. You're gay!" "This girl (I'm a guy) isn't doing it for you right now. You're gay."
SilentlyBattlingSilentlyBatt...
- Date posted
- 4y
I feel everything I do now, I’m just conditioned to do as a checking compulsion even if not on purpose.
Jbm421Jbm421
- Date posted
- 4y
I freaking hate this. I could be getting so many chicks but I'm stuck with bullshit in my head. 😢
SilentlyBattlingSilentlyBatt...
- Date posted
- 4y
@Jbm421 It’s been 3 years for me, some days are fine other suck. That said I first had this 12 years ago, got past it, it would pop up every now and then (like maybe once or twice a month and I’d easily dismiss it), but then 3 years ago it came back full force. I was actually having a rough time in life with stress and anxiety and Harm OCD took over, then I got a case worker who I enjoyed being around and thought was a cool guy and then HOCD took off from there and harm kind of took a back burner.
Jbm421Jbm421
- Date posted
- 4y
@SilentlyBattling Dude I've been handling this on and off for 11 years. While it never fully went away, I'd have long periods where it would bother me less. But since August it's been back with a vengeance.
SilentlyBattlingSilentlyBatt...
- Date posted
- 4y
I think this is important to a certain extent because very few websites or literature discuss what common thoughts actually look or sound like.
Jbm421Jbm421
- Date posted
- 4y
It is important. And thank you for this post.
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