Someone else that also get icks when a guy is overly kind and says he cares about you a lot, and I mean a lotttt.. I don’t know why but I want to distance myself from all of it, makes me feel weird

Thank you. The worst part is that I always do this, I don’t know what being in love or wanting to be with someone means or feels like.

@🥰 Me neither, its really hard. Especially because now i feel like im forcing myself to want to feel that because i want proof that im straight which only makes it worse.

@Winter yes, exactly!! I thought I was in love with this guy I met, and suddenly he was very kind to me and I just froze and felt so much anxiety because again I feel this is a proof

@🥰 Its so confusing! Try to sit with the anxiety and not look for proof/disproof from it because it only makes it worse. I know its easier said than done though and hope youre doing okay anyway ❤️

Interesting, can you elaborate? If you want!

It kind of makes sense in this situation I am in, I am actually kind of scared of the fact that he is going to see who I really am. I don’t make long lasting friendship either, I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because I am afraid of showing who I really am and expecting people to leave when they find out

@🥰 Sure! I have intimacy issues. Used to be scared of getting close to anyone. It still lingers with intimate relationships because I think my core fear is disappointing people and not being who they think I am. So I crave those relationships but once they become real, I panic and freeze. I don’t want to feel out of control of the situation and I can’t predict what’s coming next, so I start to distance myself. It’s not great. I’m working on it! Haha

@anon1234 Same, I also have intimacy issues. I am afraid of being my self and being intimate because I am afraid of disappointing them. Literally I am the exact same. I wonder if I ever will be able to believe and trust that I am worth being with, how to you work on it specifically?

@🥰 I have a therapist (which I know is not always an option) but it definitely stems from childhood. Different stages and what you “needed” and did not receive. I think communication is key, but it’s hard to communicate when it’s already hard to put into words youtself. I think (being no expert here) but that if you cannot find a therapist, to start to use those excellent research skills you have and put them towards finding ways to build self-esteem. It all starts with you and I know you can do it.