I am not diagnosed with OCD but could really use some guidance. Over the last few weeks, I’ve been dealing with this thought that I had cheated on my bf in the first few months of our relationship and I believe it’s a false memory as I have no recollection of it happening and it only appeared in my head 15 months after it “happened”. Background: I’ve been with my bf now for 2 years and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been and love him so so much. I went abroad for the summer for 2 months and we kept in contact the whole time (texting, video calls). I was always referring him as my boyfriend to other people when I was out there even though back then, he didn’t ask me since he wanted to wait till I returned home. There was one night I was out with one of my friends and a couple of her friends (all guys). I wasn’t drunk and I remember most parts of the night, including the end when I got in a taxi and I called my bf cause I was upset caused I missed him so much. There was a part of the night where I got separated from my friend so I was there with some of the guys I had met earlier in the night. I remember one particular guy who was there but I didn’t find attractive. However, I have this thought in my head that during that time I was separated from my friend that I kissed him. I am 90% sure that I didn’t as I remember other parts of the night before and after the event and I feel like I would’ve remembered some sensory aspect of it as I remembered sensory aspects of other people I have kissed. I also know how I would’ve felt immediate regret and upset with myself after the nights events but I was in good spirits the day after and for the rest of the trip. It also appeared in my head a year and 3 months initially after it “happened”. I know this is me looking for reassurance but I have no other means of getting reassurance. I haven’t told anyone about this thought as I am scared that it isn’t a false memory and I blocked it out all this time. I literally can’t think of anything else other than this and the more I think about it, the more real it feels. Has anyone ever experienced false memories about cheating and if so, do you have any advice on how to manage these thoughts or make them go away, it would really help 😭

Relationship OCD

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

I’ve experienced this!

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

Do you know how you were able to differentiate between a false memory and a real memory, like I feel like this is a false memory but the more I think of it, it feels real, and I would find it crazy that I wouldn’t think of this until over a year later? Like im pretty sure I would feel awful and would tell someone what happened the day after

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

@sarm the thing I’ve found is that OCD tries to manipulate the memory but it is really difficult

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

@Anonymous Yeah I’ve read that it can distort memories cause my memory is quite hazy regarding that event even though I remember parts of the night before and after. I just wish there was a way for me to just understand that it’s a false memory but the more I think about it, the more real it feels :(

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

I also haven’t been diagnosed with OCD but after experiencing this I feel like I am suffering with ROCD and in this case it’s cheating OCD since I’ve had false memories like this before but I was able to distinguish them as false memories and not let them bother me but this one just feels more overwhelming

pr3

Date posted: 1y

I’ve had this exact false memory!

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond