I always am convinced my husband is cheating on me , his son passed away and he’s been in contact with the mother , she’s engaged but it’s still his ex. He said she will always be family she only texts if it’s about the son or his truck and he doesn’t delete any of the messages but I’m always freaking out about it

Obviously if he actually was, then leave. But why try to frame him of doing something he may not be doing because of your lack of trust and thoughts? All I said was, if he is, then he is and you'll find out sooner or later. But so far as you've stated, you have no proof.

And I think you should accept it, honestly. Set boundaries with him, make sure he doesn't step outside of those boundaries. It's healthier for the children to have their parents, together or not, to get along.

@Anon They didn’t have communication before, he just recently had been communicating because the son just committed suicide 2 months ago, and he thinks I’m being selfish for not understanding him wanting to grieve with her during this process and he thinks my jealousy is getting in the way of him taking care of things he needs to

@Sher Your husband lost his son, whom he shared with another woman. You cannot change that, and I think it's selfish of you to not be understanding of him greiving his son, with somebody who understands his loss as much as he does, because she was the other parent. You should work on trusting him and supporting him...

@Anon I agree he wasn’t his actual dad, he was in his life from 7-18 years old and the kid called him dad so my husband considered him his son , and he said that I don’t understand the bond with him and the mother and that he wants to do whatever he can to help her because that was her only child and he hates to see her like this , he said he doesn’t love her but he cares for her and doesn’t like to see her in such a bad position.

@Sher That all sounds like the truth to me. But if you want to think your husband is a bad person for doing the right thing after his son’s suicide, well honestly... 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Sher And that's something you're going to have to get used to if you want to remain married to him. I'm sure once she starts to feel better, he will go back to less contact with her. But until then, cool it down a bit and just be there for him. Hell, be there for her, too. Losing a child is a terrible pain.

@Anon Yeah just hard I think other people got in my head telling me why are you letting him go to the families house without you and stuff because I told him I thought it would be good for him one day when I had things to do . And I trusted him then others told me it was inappropriate and I started overthinking and ruminating thinking what is wrong with me then , and started thinking he was choosing her over me but I think to him she may have been a priority then because she needed support

@Sher I think you definitely over thought it, and that's okay. But if YOU are married to him, you are the priority. Think of it as any other loss in his family, block out the fact of it's his ex. And please, don't let other people tell you how you should be in YOUR marriage. Those people telling you that it was inappropriate have obviously never experienced such a loss, and are childish for saying it was inappropriate. Just because he's your husband doesn't mean others won't need him sometimes, that's just life. It's who he's with at the end of the day that matters.

Sorry, I talk a lot... But I think it could be a form of rumination. If I were in that position, I would accept it, yes. I do think you were wrong to be upset with him, and I think you owe him an apology. But people make mistakes, and that's okay. Marriage isn't easy. And neither is the grieving process.

I think it's normal. Let it be. People come together in times of sorrow.

@Anon Thanks for the kind words