The thing that most frustrates me about ROCD, and really any theme, is how it can come and go. I go weeks, sometimes months feeling fine about a certain theme. And then it reappears and makes me second guess any certainty I once had, as if I was acting the entire time. For example, I've felt over the moon with my boyfriend, and now suddenly it's gone and I'm wondering if I was faking it the whole time, almost to convince myself. I know I have no desire to leave him, but it just irritates me and helps me to put it out there in case anybody else relates :)

Absolutely. It started for me just after a year of being together, as we went a couple weeks without seeing each other and I was like "why don't I miss him?" And thought that myself enjoying alone time was some sort of sign that I didn't love him. From there on it's been ups and downs, and he knows about it and I tell him not to let me leave him lol. Thank you for responding 🤍

@Anon Yup mine also stemmed from those “magical expectations” that he’s supposed to make my world glitter 24/7 and that I have to be in pain everytime he isn’t around or that if I put myself first I must not care. It’s good that you’re vocal to him about it and that he supports you!! That’s always a green flag :) wishing you the best!❤️

@PinkLotus Yes omg! The Hollywood expectations! Poisoned with false beliefs for so long, no wonder we panic when things aren't like that. You are so wise. Good luck to you, too! We will get through it always.

Kinda in a similar boat as far as not knowing I had OCD at all until summer last year. Looking back I've probably had it for as long as I can remember but it wasn't super problematic until last year. I always struggled with doubtful thoughts about my relationship with my boyfriend of 6 years, but things are even worse now that I made a huge mistake and hurt him deeply. Real event ocd has me constantly thinking about what I did and convincing myself that I'm a horrible person even though my boyfriend constantly says it's ok. And I'm also constantly worrying that maybe I don't love him enough or I'm lying to myself because I feel guilty, on top of everything I was already experiencing beforehand. Not sure if this helps, but I've been trying to check the facts of my situation to reassure myself that things will be ok. I love my boyfriend dearly and have no intention of leaving him. Yes, I messed up, but he still loves me despite it. One mistake doesn't make me a bad person. And every relationship will have its high and low points, so it's okay not to be infatuated all the time. It sucks being so doubtful all the time but I know we're all strong enough to overcome it ❤️

@tameon I remember having signs of OCD as a child, mainly intrusive thoughts being brushed off as me being a negative person by my mother. Although maybe those were just general childhood worries, I'm not too sure. Anyways, mine began showing when I was about 19. If he has forgiven you, it's time you forgive yourself. This takes time and patience, but I believe you can do it. We all do stupid things, we say hurtful things, humans make mistakes. And relationships are never perfect, you will have days, weeks, where you are at odds. It's normal. You'll be okay.

That's so hard. And yeah, I've heard stories where people break up and it just comes to a halt, but the OCD will latch onto something else soon after (family, yourself, etc.) Even your next relationship. It's not the people we're with that is the issue, it is us and our minds against us. And my themes come in a pattern, typically. Once the ROCD is gone, the HOCD comes back. I sometimes struggle with Harm OCD and POCD, but those are less common in myself and only come up when triggered by something in the news, and they dont last as long.

@Anon You’re totally totally right. Which helps disempower those negative thoughts and feelings for me. Even though they’re there, I try to remind myself it’s just my brain playing a trick on me. Perspective helps. Thank you for sharing. That sounds really tough as well. Do you navigate handling all of them the same way?

@Anonymous I also remind myself that if I wanted to leave. I would. I've done it before, I know what it's like to not want somebody anymore. I know I'm just afraid of hurting my wonderful boyfriend, and that's why I struggle with this. I remind myself OCD attacks the things we value and care about, things that go against who we are. I struggle most with feeling numbness sometimes, as if I'm pretending to love a stranger. But i continue to pretend as if that is not there, I choose to continue to love him through the numbness, and eventually the good feelings return. So, I essentially ignore the thoughts, which I find makes them last a shorter time.

@Anon Wow I LOVE how you said that. Thank you so much for sharing all of this. It’s really really helpful to hear about someone else’s perspective so thank you♥️

@Anonymous I highly recommend reading Sheryl Paul's Blog, it has helped me immensely. I'm glad I could help, I find assisting others often helps me as well as hearing others stories and seeing the similarities, so thank you for joining me. 🤍