Hey y’all i need to know if someone relates to what I’m going through. I feel almost like if I wanted to act on my thoughts but I actually don’t because this doesn’t please me at all. So if someone told me “You have Harm OCD” I would be like “really? So I don’t wanna harm people? Neither am I capable?” I have no clue why would that be my answer when I haven’t desired anything. But somehow it makes me feel like I do, and consequently makes me feel like I’m in denial. So it feels like if an unconscious part of me wants to do it but I am just resisting. I literally can’t go anywhere, I don’t wanna live any second more, because I feel so disturbed all the time. I feel like I’m gonna end up doing it, I feel so overwhelmed by these feelings,thoughts, images, urges, that I would avoid everything, like going anywhere. I hate feeling like this but I feel like there’s no way back, i can’t picture myself being good in the future because I feel like “this is what i want” when it’s not. I feel like it’s a time bomb for me to do something. I do not tolerate this, every minute that passes by I feel it closer to happen. I feel like I’m gonna collapse and act on it. I don’t even know if that’s what I want, but I don’t think it is, I think it just feels like it. Help I don’t know what to do.

Harm OCD

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

I feel the same way. There are times I have the thought of harming someone and I just blow it off and know I would never do it. But other times the anxiety and thoughts get so intense it really feels like I would act on those harmful thoughts. They used to be much worse, but I have been seeing a NOCD therapist and do feel like I’m slowly getting better and handling the thoughts better through the ERP I’m doing for my harm OCD.

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

Exactly, thanks for sharing it helps a lot. But yeah I definitely need to seek help, I am glad you’re going through recovery. I wish you the best <3

iamstrong

Date posted: 4y

I know exactly how you feel. I used to tell myself that I am in charge of my own seating (it turned into a compulsion) but it just doesn’t feel that way. I feel like I’ve randomly turned into someone else. I feel like I don’t know who I am and I don’t know what’s true in my mind and what’s not. I feel like my destiny has been decided for me and I hate that. I know I don’t wanna do these thing but my thoughts tell me otherwise and I feel so lost and confused and frustrated with myself. So yes, I can relate to you!!! OCD is a b****

iamstrong

Date posted: 4y

My own destiny*

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

Omg yes I feel you so much!! I relate to all that so much. I don’t wanna do it but as soon as I say that my mind says: are you sure? Is that true? I hate it. But thank you so so much for sharing, it makes me feel less alone. I am so sorry you’re going through this tho, I know how hard it is. But we’re in the same page together :)

Mmj97

Date posted: 4y

This happen to me and wow it caused me so much stress. I remember even telling my husband that I’m not good anymore. That I was “evil”. I thought I was gonna commit a crime. This lasted for 8 months But at the end throughout those months I worked really hard to learn to shift my mind, to put in effort to think otherwise, I put effort to work and also to socialize and practice healthy habits. I also took store bought relaxers and told myself I rather be numb and too relax then being capable of hurting someone. If you wanna try them (they are called “Anxie-T” by life season. Til this day when I get nervous I use them and even my family does. They work like a charm. And obviously I got professional help but all I did was talk to the therapist and got ssris from my gynecologist but I only took 1 pill cause they gave me side affects. Anyways these all helped. I still have this thoughts but I don’t freak out anymore or believe they have anything with me..

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

I feel you so much. It’s so scary tbh. I feel so confused right now, as if I wanted to do all this and I just don’t want to accept it. Or like my unconscious wants to do this but I’m just denying it. Thank you so much for sharing, I really appreciate it, I’m glad you recovered, I hope I get through that as well. It’s very hard not to engage with thoughts because it feels that it’s something important I just can not ignore, but I’ll try my best. Thank you:)

nevieocal

Date posted: 25w

Can someone please help me?

I think when people are saying OCD is egodystonic is really triggering me and I was just wondering if this has happened to anyone else? I’m going through a really bad relapse and right now I’m trying to figure out if my thoughts are truly egodystonic, like I how do I know I won’t act on them, how can I trust my emotions and everything. I feel really confused and I feel like I don’t know who I am anymore or how I carry on with life because it’s so long and I’m so unsure of everything that’s going on in my head. Like how do I know that this is OCD and true desires/urges. I’m so confused.

flowerpetals

Date posted: 24w

frustrating

harm ocd is the bane of my existence. people always tell me that if you have anxiety over a thought, that’s ocd. and these intrusive thoughts cause me IMMENSE anxiety. i’m constantly looking for reasons why i’m not what these thoughts tell me i am. but WHY DOES IT FEEL SO REAL?? it’s like i can’t reassure myself that this isn’t me and i don’t want to do it, but i also look for reasons why it’s not me. my brain is constantly telling me “if you don’t act on this, you’ll never feel free”. WHAT EVEN IS THAT?? and why does it feel real?? anytime i think about getting therapy, i constantly think that it’s not going to help me positively but help me realize i am this person. i just wish someone with harm ocd could get into my brain, understand me, and tell me everything will be okay. i wish someone in recovery could tell me that they’ve been where i am, felt the same feelings, thought the same thoughts, and got through it when they thought they wouldn’t. i feel like i’m drowning in it. another thing is i think about how my mom knows a surface level understanding to this form of my ocd, but if she knew it all, i’m scared she’d never look at me the same. i’m scared she’d be scared of me and think i need psychiatric help. IM TERRIFIED.

Harm OCD

joshuadrennen

Date posted: 23w

struggling with harm OCD

i’m back in a cycle of having harm related OCD thoughts and feelings and urges and i get these episodes where it’s like i’m disassociating and feel like i’m about to snap and go crazy violent. does anyone else experience this? i need help

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