Hey y’all i need to know if someone relates to what I’m going through. I feel almost like if I wanted to act on my thoughts but I actually don’t because this doesn’t please me at all. So if someone told me “You have Harm OCD” I would be like “really? So I don’t wanna harm people? Neither am I capable?” I have no clue why would that be my answer when I haven’t desired anything. But somehow it makes me feel like I do, and consequently makes me feel like I’m in denial. So it feels like if an unconscious part of me wants to do it but I am just resisting. I literally can’t go anywhere, I don’t wanna live any second more, because I feel so disturbed all the time. I feel like I’m gonna end up doing it, I feel so overwhelmed by these feelings,thoughts, images, urges, that I would avoid everything, like going anywhere. I hate feeling like this but I feel like there’s no way back, i can’t picture myself being good in the future because I feel like “this is what i want” when it’s not. I feel like it’s a time bomb for me to do something. I do not tolerate this, every minute that passes by I feel it closer to happen. I feel like I’m gonna collapse and act on it. I don’t even know if that’s what I want, but I don’t think it is, I think it just feels like it. Help I don’t know what to do.

I feel the same way. There are times I have the thought of harming someone and I just blow it off and know I would never do it. But other times the anxiety and thoughts get so intense it really feels like I would act on those harmful thoughts. They used to be much worse, but I have been seeing a NOCD therapist and do feel like I’m slowly getting better and handling the thoughts better through the ERP I’m doing for my harm OCD.

I know exactly how you feel. I used to tell myself that I am in charge of my own seating (it turned into a compulsion) but it just doesn’t feel that way. I feel like I’ve randomly turned into someone else. I feel like I don’t know who I am and I don’t know what’s true in my mind and what’s not. I feel like my destiny has been decided for me and I hate that. I know I don’t wanna do these thing but my thoughts tell me otherwise and I feel so lost and confused and frustrated with myself. So yes, I can relate to you!!! OCD is a b****

This happen to me and wow it caused me so much stress. I remember even telling my husband that I’m not good anymore. That I was “evil”. I thought I was gonna commit a crime. This lasted for 8 months But at the end throughout those months I worked really hard to learn to shift my mind, to put in effort to think otherwise, I put effort to work and also to socialize and practice healthy habits. I also took store bought relaxers and told myself I rather be numb and too relax then being capable of hurting someone. If you wanna try them (they are called “Anxie-T” by life season. Til this day when I get nervous I use them and even my family does. They work like a charm. And obviously I got professional help but all I did was talk to the therapist and got ssris from my gynecologist but I only took 1 pill cause they gave me side affects. Anyways these all helped. I still have this thoughts but I don’t freak out anymore or believe they have anything with me..