I don't know who I am 😔

I can't do this anymore. I feel in denial. But can't really see myself being with a man 😔

@Ihateocd83 The fact that it concerns you and keeps in the loop just tells me it's ocd. I said to myself "okay I'm in denial and what of it? I don't mind be bi, gay, straight". At first it feels bad but it helps. The idea is not to get certain about your sexuality but live with uncertainty. Uncertainty meanwhile doesn't define your sexuality which is important to keep in mind.

@Rogan Thank you mate 👍. I have been diagnosed but I doubt it. I'm like I know I'm gay in my head but I don't believe it. I don't trust my mind

@Rogan What do you mean uncertainty does not define your sexuality?

@Ihateocd83 It means that you don't need to be certain about your sexuality. Don't try to find a proof that you are not gay and pedophile. Trying to find the proof makes you get stuck in the ocd loop which makes your situation only worse and worse.

I'm fucked mate

@Ihateocd83 Dude, I dont know how many times Ive felt that exact thing during all this time (hell the past few days alone I've felt that a bunch of time) and I'm sure it's not the first time you felt it. But we keep going. We keep pushing. We keep finding reasons to continue the struggle. Listen to what Rogan said. We are trying so hard, that it brings it back to us 100 fold. The only way to not lose at this game is to not play.

@Jbm421 Yeah I hear you mate

@Jbm421 You OK buddy?

@Ihateocd83 Not really. Just woke up to a racing heartbeat and the same damn thoughts as if I want that shit. I know I wont go fully back to sleep so I'm trying to sit with it. I've had a headache for 3 days straight. How 'bout you?

I know that feeling. You get thoughts like that and you think the thoughts are you. All I know is, I'm tired of thinking...

I've been obsessing all day. Shit nearly had me convinced and then I'm in the gym still obsessing and I run into an ex. Now I feel worse.

I know that feeling bro. It feels like it's over for me too most of the time. Now I'm in the gym doing checking compulsion. It never ends. Even thinking about being with my ex again, my mind does the whole "you will turn gay" thing...fml

That's me all day. Now I gotta be here at work all day. And nothing on this planet feels worse than your ex messaging you while you are doing ERP...

@Jbm421 I dont think its possible for me to feel worse than I do right now.

@Jbm421 Block the mtfkr

@Rogan What???

@Jbm421 Block the ex if they make you feel worse. You need to recover and it's not time for exes to pop up

@Rogan I know. She was just being nice but I'm at my worst right now and its more my fault. I know what you mean though.

@Jbm421 Hang in there mate I'm routing for you 👍

@Jbm421 You OK mate ? Hope your doing well 👍. I'm struggling like fuck as always. I keep getting short with my boys. I was in the shopping centre earlier and in my head it was like my boyfriend would look good in that ? Wtf