I am starting to believe I don’t love my partner like I use to… 😞 it makes me sad but I don’t cry… I feel too normal for this to be ROCD anymore… I know I don’t wanna break up with him bc I know I love him still but how can I get out of feeling as though I really don’t love him? Is this a subtype of ROCD or do I have to say goodbye to the only man I have ever truly loved…. 😭😭😭

I want to love him and I know I still do. I’ve been suffering through anxiety and depression for 10 months straight. I’ve been dealing with ROCD for 9 years in my relationship but it never felt like this…

I still kiss, hug and touch him but sex is hard… I wanna cry… our sex life was amazing before it got this bad. I don’t wanna break up with him. I know if I truly wanted to I would’ve done it already… I’ve never felt this way for him before… I hate it. When I look back how happy I was before I start crying…. I wanna be with him like before again.

@Mandy7710 I get like this and sex freaks me out atm too which is sad because it used to be so good and so chill. Idk brains are kinda shitty and every little thing makes us question stuff when in this mindset eg normally I want my bf to compliment me when I get ready to go out but today idc either way and my brain is like omg why

@Mandy7710 It is possible that these are your real feelings and not just OCD thoughts. But also, sometimes OCD makes us sort of, numb, in a way, to the people that we love. At least for me personally that happened. Ever since my OCD started getting really bad, I feel like I have a boyfriend but also don’t at the same time if that makes sense. Like I still call him my boyfriend and treat him as my boyfriend, but it doesn’t really click in my head that we’re “together.” And I honestly think it’s not because I don’t love him, but it’s because my OCD and anxiety is just making it really difficult to feel present with people. It’s almost like DPDR but just that I don’t really feel involved or present in my own relationship because I’m stuck in my head all the time. Is that sort of how you’re feeling?

@Anonymous Yes! I avoid people I constantly talk to myself… I don’t want this to be me… I don’t wanna break up. He is the only man I’ve ever truly loved . I don’t wanna end my relationship 😭

@Mandy7710 Yeah I sort of feel out of touch with my relationship. I hope it ends soon and I get some clarity because it’s not fair of me to keep stringing him along if this is how I actually feel. I hope you get some clarity on what’s going on your relationship as well ❤️ if you don’t wanna breakup, then don’t! For now at least, and see how it goes for a couple months.

@Anonymous I am worried bc it’s non stop feeling this way… I wanna cry over and over again. I don’t want to end my relationship… 😭 I know I love him but why isn’t that enough!!

@Mandy7710 Sometimes relationships need more than jsut love to work. Plenty of people separate and still always love each other. Sometimes you just need to grow by yourself. It’s easier said than done, I know.

@Anonymous I agree. I actually did end my relationship as there were legitimate issues apart from the ROCD. But the ROCD played a huge role and made it very difficult to distinguish between what was real and not. There’s not right or wrong answer - either way, you can be happy with or without your partner. ❤️

I don’t wanna move on though… I’ve been obsessing non stop but I don’t have intrusive thoughts anymore or feelings… I don’t wanna be without him bc I know I love him still. I wanna cry bc I don’t want theses feelings to be true…