- Username
- PinkLotus
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Oof I feel this. I avoid hugging my female friends sometimes, then feel anxious about the fact I avoided it. Oh to have OCD 🥲
Yeah I never even cared before but now 🥲
Hey there, I‘m so so sorry you‘re going through this. I know exactly how you feel, it is a nightmare isn’t it? I just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone in this there are so many people (including me) who go through the same shit. Right know you might feel like you’re never gonna be okay again but this is a lie you‘re brain is feeding you. You will be okay and you will feel like yourself again. I‘m here if you need to talk to someone <3
Thank you truly it means the world that I’m not alone in this battle❤️❤️❤️
I worry about this too, im constantly analysing everything.. youre not alone, stay strong ❤️
Thank you so much and same to you as well, stay strong we can get through this 💗
This is taking away all my happy experiences with guys and telling me they didn’t matter as much because I’m going to like it better with girls. Everything I held dear, a lie. Everything I wanted for myself, an illusion. It just hurts so much because it feels like I can never have that side of me back again and that’s if it even existed. Right now those moments feel insignificant, feels like I was forcing them and just forcing myself to fit society’s standards. It hurts so much and I feel so trapped 💔💔
I’m feeling the exact same way right now, you’re not alone. The past week everything’s felt so real and the anxiety feeling is always present, it’s exhausting isn’t it? I’m so jealous of people who don’t have this.
@MelodyMoo But just know how strong and brave you are for going through this, and it’s okay to have worse days/ weeks/ months but you’ll be okay! ✨
@MelodyMoo Yup it’s just this constant feeling of not feeling like myself anymore. It’s like I picked up everything that I’m supposed to feel if I liked girls and started copying it. Hope you’re staying strong , we will do our best to get through this 💕
I literally have no reason to think this! I’ve never been attracted or had a crush on a girl! I don’t know why I keep worrying. All of the sudden I feel like my feelings for all my past crushes weren’t real. This sucks. I don’t know anything about myself anymore. It keeps trying to push this idea on my head. Like there is no reason for me to think that i am gay! The most possible “reason” would be finding women attractive, that’s it! But now I try to imagine my life partner and when I think of a guy a picture of a women quickly comes up. Sometimes I just wanna scream “I am gay” for no reason. Or when someone is talking about relationships I always think “I am different”. Or when someone talks about acceptance it really bothers me too. This is so bad, what am I even basing this idea on? Now, I it’s hard imagining a guy that I like, it’s weird. I feel like I am never going to like anyone again. Ugh this is draining me
I can’t anymore. I really can’t. The what if I am attracted to them. The “why does it have to be a man with a woman” (which by the way- I only now get when women are talking in love songs. And whenever I look at any couple). I am just tired. Tired of feelings like crap. I just want to go to what I was before, but was I like this before? Have I always been like this? I am tired. My anxiety levels are ALWAYS the worse at the morning. I am starting to obsess whether I like this friend now! And it doesn’t matter how much I try to accept it, it doesn’t go away. Like there is still something wrong. I hate this. I hate this so fucking much. At this point. How can I still be straight? I literally get triggered by everything. And how can I just not be gay? I have no reason to think that but it feels so real. It’s like I have no sexuality at all. And this is all that I can think about every single hour of my day. I am even thinking about this in dreams! I even wonder that the fact I am so upset right now is because I am scared of telling people and that they won’t accept me. When I don’t even know who I am myself. I am so done. What even is this? Have I always been like this? I am getting flashbacks and it’s telling me I have.
Geez, I seem to just be getting worse. I keep thinking what if I’ve been lesbian all my life but never payed attention to it. I mean it feels right to be with a man and have a boyfriend I want that. But why do I keep doubting it I just want this to end. I’ve never been a girly girly. I like cute clothes but I hate how it looks on me I feel so insecure. Same with make up. And I keep thinking maybe that’s evidence I could be lesbian. This all sounds ridiculous but why can’t I just accept the fact that I’m straight. I actually like being with boys and kissing them. I get aroused when I kiss them. So why is this happening?
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