- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Even if you did like girls it doesn't mean that you also don't like guys
- Date posted
- 4y
You could always go on a date with a girl to see if you enjoy it. But this sounds very ROCD / HOCD to me. Of course thereās no way to know for sure. I had this exact same thing happen, ROCD (didnāt know it), broke up with my fiance, have always been heterosexual, but developed HOCD, got into acceptance with being uncertain if I would like being with girls or not, and then immediately my OCD became TOCD. Which has been a nightmare. If itās not one thing, itās another.
- Date posted
- 4y
Did you experience arousal with women? I legit cannot live my life like this. I also would try going on a date with a girl but it isnāt that easy just to choose someone ya know. Like I almost feel this sense of urgency.
- Date posted
- 4y
@Ope I feel like I have to, to know for sure. Like I need to know.. I think idk maybe I think girls are sweet and stuff and fun maybe I do like them. Saying that doesnāt feel right but it gives me less anxiety.
- Date posted
- 4y
@Ope Yes. Since I was little I always wanted a boyfriend I would try to kiss boys and have crushes. I felt like super sexual about men but not aroused... like I wanted to talk about sex with men and liked the way male privates looked but I felt sexual towards girls as well I liked lesbian porn Bc I got exposed to it really young but I never had crushes on them. Then when I got older I met a man and he took my virginity and I loved it. I loved sex with him. I then only went after men and I liked sex with them and wanted to marry a man and all this stuff but I still felt sexual arousal towards women. I think it may be bisexual but I cannot accept that either my brain going no LESBIAN. And it makes me think I never liked men at all. Thatās whatās scary. Bc I hear a lot of women get turned on by women but they donāt want sex in real life.. so itās all confusing.
- Date posted
- 4y
@Ope Itās so hard. I donāt really now how exposure will work because I know Iāll feel aroused and stuff. I find so much peace in being with a man but something always holds me back in my mind
- Date posted
- 4y
When I was in the thick of it with HOCD, I was sad because I thought it meant I couldnāt be with a man, and that I had to break up with my bf. I believe that actual lesbians donāt cry over not getting have a husband, if that makes sense
- Date posted
- 4y
I've felt just like this before
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
I have been doing okay for the past week or so and was really happy i felt that i was getting back on track, but today i went on tiktok and i saw something triggering which was āi thought i was a lesbian for 4 years until i met my now boyfriendā and it triggered me very badly, i have been crying all day and i canāt seem to make myself feel okay. i feel like im lying to myself that im not lesbian and i truly want men, but when i get any thought about men it feels disgusting and wrong and not me, i donāt want men i feel so sick i want to get out of this. i always felt so happy as a lesbian im so stuck i donāt want to be with a man. i have a loving girlfriend i just want to be happy with her.
- Date posted
- 22w
hi iām a lesbian! and i have known im a lesbian for a really long time and i have a sweet girlfriend of 1 year. it all started when i saw this masc lesbian come out as straight, after that i had my guy friend over and heās a sweet guy and he was flirting with me (he didnāt know i was gay) im not sure but i panicked and my brain froze and i was like ādo i like himā, ever since my brain has been over worked 24/7 for 2 months now and itās spiralling constantly. im trying to control it but all these thoughts are so disgusting and my brain tries to put him and i in scenarios that make me uncomfortable and i feel panic and i hate it. i have always been comfortable being a lesbian and i still am comfortable as a lesbian, but i dislike these thoughts i have about him and men and i want it to be over. i do not want to experiment with men even tho my brain is telling me i do, i find it disgusting and i dread it, i have a sweet girlfriend and i want to be with her forever, i do not imagine anything with any men and i hate these thoughts. im scared of becoming bisexual/straight one day and i hate hearing sexuality is fluid. its a whole mix of comphet and so-ocd
- Date posted
- 19w
I am very depressed right now. I really feel like maybe Iāve always been a lesbian and never knew. I never questioned my sexuality when I was young, never wanted to explore, I just was straight and didnāt think anything about it, thatās just what it was. I had my first soocd spiral in late high school but didnāt have a name for it, just that I was having intrusive thoughts and it was killing me that maybe I was gay. I canāt exactly remember how I got out of that but I continued to have crushes, talking stages, and dated. It went away and that was that I guess. Looking back now I definitely was still avoiding content and certain people, and still had intrusive thoughts but didnāt think I was gay. I guess they were less sticky. Something about me is that Iāve never had a boyfriend and Iām a virgin. Iām very shy and romanticize things like I love the relationships and scenarios I read about or that I see in movies or the thirst traps online haha. So I want that irl but am disappointed when that doesnāt happen. I have a very interactive daydream (started when I was 13 and still continued that fantasy world now too) with a boyfriend, friends, and a prettier version of me. I enjoyed making up scenarios about sex or romance in those daydreams and fantasies, but when it came to real life, I would get shy or scared when things were starting to get serious with men. I thought maybe this was an avoidant attachment style but now Iām not sure. I never considered female fantasies and I still donāt want to right now. I want to test and see which one I like better, but Iām afraid Iāll find that Iām a lesbian and I really donāt want that. Ive always imagined myself with a man but now Iām worried about comphet. Iām really depressed and I canāt tell because yes, I find some women attractive whether itās their makeup, face, body, aesthetic, but I never thought that meant I was attracted to them in a sexual or romantic way until this spiral. Now Iām afraid of masc lesbians and pretty women because it triggers me. But Iām also afraid because I feel like I can look at attractive men, but I donāt feel the same way anymore. I canāt even daydream about them bc then my brain inserts a woman. Iām really scared that Iāve lost myself, because I truly feel like I have, but I donāt want to explore with women, I just want to like men, Iāve always liked that idea. But so many lesbians talk about liking celebrities, fantasy men, or just attractive men. Sorry for the rant but Iām struggling a lot right now. I feel like all my memories, even the ones that directly contradict being a lesbian, can be explained away by comphet, internal homophobia, denial, suppression, etc. When I do try and accept uncertainty, sometimes it feels ok, but then something will trigger me and Iām back at square one. Iām afraid if I take my meds Iāll discover something about myself that I donāt want to because Iāve always been depressed and avoidant of life because it never lives up to my expectations. My sexuality is on my mind 24/7! I canāt take it!
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