Guys😔 I am so sad. Like sooo sad. I cannot stop crying. I am convinced I am a lesbian for sure and I never liked men. My feelings changed towards my now ex. I started having severe anxiety around him. I am not sure if it is my SOOCD or if I was never attracted to him to begin with. Either way we broke up and I’m so sad. I don’t want to be a lesbian but I do have sexual feelings towards girls. I enjoyed sex with my ex but maybe I didn’t enjoy it maybe I lied to myself. I cry myself to sleep every night and I’m crying right now. I feel trapped. I don’t know why I cannot accept if I was a lesbian and just be happy. I feel happy when I think about being with a girl like I stop crying and then I freak out again. I’m always looking for someone to tell me I’m not. But maybe I am. I don’t know I just know that I am so sad. Everyone would accept me if I was gay such as my mom, sister and friends but I wouldn’t. I don’t know why.

Did you experience arousal with women? I legit cannot live my life like this. I also would try going on a date with a girl but it isn’t that easy just to choose someone ya know. Like I almost feel this sense of urgency.

@Ope I feel like I have to, to know for sure. Like I need to know.. I think idk maybe I think girls are sweet and stuff and fun maybe I do like them. Saying that doesn’t feel right but it gives me less anxiety.

@Ope Yes. Since I was little I always wanted a boyfriend I would try to kiss boys and have crushes. I felt like super sexual about men but not aroused... like I wanted to talk about sex with men and liked the way male privates looked but I felt sexual towards girls as well I liked lesbian porn Bc I got exposed to it really young but I never had crushes on them. Then when I got older I met a man and he took my virginity and I loved it. I loved sex with him. I then only went after men and I liked sex with them and wanted to marry a man and all this stuff but I still felt sexual arousal towards women. I think it may be bisexual but I cannot accept that either my brain going no LESBIAN. And it makes me think I never liked men at all. That’s what’s scary. Bc I hear a lot of women get turned on by women but they don’t want sex in real life.. so it’s all confusing.

@Ope It’s so hard. I don’t really now how exposure will work because I know I’ll feel aroused and stuff. I find so much peace in being with a man but something always holds me back in my mind