I eat boys
- Date posted
- 6y
CamrynGallaCamrynGalla
- Date posted
- 6y
I don’t personally experience it but i don’t think it’s as much a fear as it is constantly questioning your sexuality. If anyone who actually experiences this can chime in it would probably be more helpful
sonofpriviledge sonofprivile...
- Date posted
- 6y
He has fears and obsession about heterosexual attractions and wonders if he really is gay.
DonnyDonny
- Date posted
- 6y
These are good questions. Wish i knew.
hippyhoneybeeshippyhoneybees
- Date posted
- 6y
I’m not sure I actually have this, but when I saw the description I was just like “wow ok, me”. Ok so how do I explain this? There’s nothing wrong with being gay, I’m not afraid of being attracted to the same sex. It’s more of this constant thought of “am I? What if I’m not? Who can I tell? Who can I not tell? Ok but am I though?” Idk if that helped or not, honestly feel free to as me specific questions, I feel that might be easier
sonofpriviledge sonofprivile...
- Date posted
- 6y
I have struggled with this a lot. A big part of it is not knowing. I have identified as bisexual since I was 15 because I feel like my orientation has always varied. I also struggle with feeling romantic and sexual attractions to women but only sexually at actions to guys. Which has always made me wonder if I was or wasn’t gay.
sonofpriviledge sonofprivile...
- Date posted
- 6y
I have also met someone in a support group who came out as gay and was comfortably gay for ten years. He now often struggled with this in reverse. He ha
rlrrlr
- Date posted
- 6y
before I had hocd i was comfortable with being bisexual and then once my hocd kicked in, it makes me obsess over my sexuality and freak out about it, which is something i would normally never do... it’s a really weird thing and I obviously know there’s nothing wrong with being gay because I identified as bisexual before my hocd but whenever it gets bad, it feels like it’s the end of the world. really confusing and weird
I eat boysI eat boys
- Date posted
- 6y
@Camyrn so is it more of the not knowing as opposed to a fear?
I eat boysI eat boys
- Date posted
- 6y
thank you everyone for your responses!
sherlock97sherlock97
- Date posted
- 6y
It’s not that you have any problem with gay people or anything it’s just like “oh shit what if I’m gay” but you’ve never been gay before and then because all of the stuff going on in your head you look at women that before HOCD you would have fancied and aren’t attracted to them because you’re forcing yourself to be attracted. Then you start thinking I must be attracted to men and then you start noticing the attributes of men that everyone notices (strong jaw line, big biceps, etc.) and you see this as confirmation that you are gay but the thought of being with another man does not comfort you, it freaks you the fuck out. You only desire to be with women but feel as though you don’t have a choice in the matter and your need to control takes over and you begin to make concise arguments as to what your orientation is (being a lawyer this is very tough, I’m trained to make strong arguments) and then you’re stuck in limbo as I call it. You’re afraid of being gay but if you were you’d have to live with it so fuck it, what can you do? But you know in your heart of hearts that that’s not you and you enter an identity crisis. Hope this explains
Related posts
anonymous1348
- Date posted
- 23w
hocd
straight girl suffering from hocd, okay so when i was younger i looked at like a girl corn star insta for like 2 weeks and like did get aroused by it, didn’t think much of it still fancied boys, girls were like ew no to me, but its triggering my hocd so badly, like is it normal that i could look at a sexy pic of a girl n get aroused by it, but like a shirtless pic of a boy i wouldn’t, however i have insane attraction to men irl, i love my boyfriend, i love the idea of being with a man and hate the idea of being with a woman, this really freaking me out!
truetrev
- Date posted
- 19w
Heterosexual OCD
I wanted to voice that homosexuals can get HOCD too. I remember when i was younger and knew i was gay i still got HOCD one time when watching The Office. I thought Pam was so pretty and then started doubting my whole identity because what if i am straight? Oh god, what a terror if i was heterosexual. But anyway, thought that maybe this would help heteros with HOCD by knowing that this is a universal symptom across OCD sufferers of all sexual orientations. A big problem is calling this subtype “Homosexual OCD,” because its not. It has nothing to do with being homo or hetero or bi or anything. Its just OCD being a bully. I think labelling subtypes is an issue altogether, as it can unconsciously make people feel like its not just OCD. But it is. Does this make any sense? What are yall’s thoughts on this? Or is this just my OCD talking? (Im not seeking reassurance just genuinely find this interesting) TLDR; each time we “qualify” OCD with a subtype, we reinforce that the subtype is part of the issue. In reality, OCD is just a broken loop in our brains, and thoughts are just thoughts. And Pam Beesly is a hottie.
user74128588493
- Date posted
- 11w
hocd and scared it’s internalized homophobia
I’ve been struggling with HOCD for years, and it started with an intrusive thought about being gay when I was younger. It came up at age 12 and ever since, I’ve been trapped in a cycle of doubt and anxiety. I obsess over whether or not I’m secretly gay, even though I don’t feel that way at all. What makes it worse is the fear that I might have internalized homophobia, and that’s why I’m having these obsessive thoughts. I worry that my anxiety is a sign that I’m repressing something or rejecting part of myself. It feels like my mind keeps repeating the same question—am I gay?—and no matter how much reassurance I get, the fear doesn’t go away. I used to pray for my family members, fearing that if I didn’t, something bad would happen to them, and now it feels like I have to control these thoughts, or something will go wrong. For a while, it was quieter, but a week ago, the thoughts spiraled up again, and now the anxiety feels overwhelming again. It’s exhausting, and I don’t know how to break free from this constant loop of doubt. Has anyone dealt with the fear of internalized homophobia alongside HOCD? How do you manage the anxiety that comes with it?
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond