- Date posted
- 6y
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- 6y
I don’t personally experience it but i don’t think it’s as much a fear as it is constantly questioning your sexuality. If anyone who actually experiences this can chime in it would probably be more helpful
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- 6y
He has fears and obsession about heterosexual attractions and wonders if he really is gay.
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- 6y
These are good questions. Wish i knew.
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- 6y
I’m not sure I actually have this, but when I saw the description I was just like “wow ok, me”. Ok so how do I explain this? There’s nothing wrong with being gay, I’m not afraid of being attracted to the same sex. It’s more of this constant thought of “am I? What if I’m not? Who can I tell? Who can I not tell? Ok but am I though?” Idk if that helped or not, honestly feel free to as me specific questions, I feel that might be easier
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- 6y
I have struggled with this a lot. A big part of it is not knowing. I have identified as bisexual since I was 15 because I feel like my orientation has always varied. I also struggle with feeling romantic and sexual attractions to women but only sexually at actions to guys. Which has always made me wonder if I was or wasn’t gay.
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- 6y
before I had hocd i was comfortable with being bisexual and then once my hocd kicked in, it makes me obsess over my sexuality and freak out about it, which is something i would normally never do... it’s a really weird thing and I obviously know there’s nothing wrong with being gay because I identified as bisexual before my hocd but whenever it gets bad, it feels like it’s the end of the world. really confusing and weird
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- 6y
@Camyrn so is it more of the not knowing as opposed to a fear?
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- 6y
I have also met someone in a support group who came out as gay and was comfortably gay for ten years. He now often struggled with this in reverse. He ha
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- 6y
thank you everyone for your responses!
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- 6y
It’s not that you have any problem with gay people or anything it’s just like “oh shit what if I’m gay” but you’ve never been gay before and then because all of the stuff going on in your head you look at women that before HOCD you would have fancied and aren’t attracted to them because you’re forcing yourself to be attracted. Then you start thinking I must be attracted to men and then you start noticing the attributes of men that everyone notices (strong jaw line, big biceps, etc.) and you see this as confirmation that you are gay but the thought of being with another man does not comfort you, it freaks you the fuck out. You only desire to be with women but feel as though you don’t have a choice in the matter and your need to control takes over and you begin to make concise arguments as to what your orientation is (being a lawyer this is very tough, I’m trained to make strong arguments) and then you’re stuck in limbo as I call it. You’re afraid of being gay but if you were you’d have to live with it so fuck it, what can you do? But you know in your heart of hearts that that’s not you and you enter an identity crisis. Hope this explains
Related posts
- Date posted
- 18w
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
- Date posted
- 15w
So I’ve talked to a couple of gay people and they all told me the same thing. They ALWAYS knew they liked guys and they have ever gotten aroused by a woman in their life. In fact they told me that they always found a woman’s body disgusting. Looking back in my life I’ve been attracted to girls for as long as I can remember even before puberty. All my fantasies were about girls and I can’t remember a time where I felt the same for a guy (because it never happened). At the end I can still get aroused by women and you can clearly see how much stupid this obsession about being gay is. Gay people can’t get instinctively aroused by a woman and like it. Groinal responses and sensations don’t mean anything because they simply do not bring joy or a feeling of desire. Instead they bring panic. I once got a groinal when “testing my reactions” and I was sitting there crying like my life is over. That’s not how genuine attraction works and no one has woken up one day feeling different and no one has been secretly gay and never noticed it and spent his whole life into women instead.
- Date posted
- 12w
Like I can’t think straight. This is making me doubt everything I’ve thought about myself and even makes me feel like I like the thoughts when I know I don’t. Like I would be less anxious at a time while I still have the thoughts and my mind would go “oh so you like it you must be gay” or the other one where I’m not anxious and I think of my attraction for girls that I’ve had my whole life and my mind goes “see now you’re not into them you’re gay” like it’s so stupid but so effective. I clearly remember being into girls my whole life but my mind is making me believe that all these attractions and feelings for women were all fake or “a thing of the past”. But I can still get aroused by women but I have this weird anxiety going on which brings these sensations/feelings and it’s so weird. Today I’ve spent my whole day thinking about it like I’ve been doing for 5 months now. I know that this aint normal but my mind just won’t let me live in peace. I never cared about my sexuality cuz I simply liked women my whole life but now my sexuality is a fundamental philosophy. I hate this.
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