- Username
- I eat boys
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I don’t personally experience it but i don’t think it’s as much a fear as it is constantly questioning your sexuality. If anyone who actually experiences this can chime in it would probably be more helpful
He has fears and obsession about heterosexual attractions and wonders if he really is gay.
These are good questions. Wish i knew.
I’m not sure I actually have this, but when I saw the description I was just like “wow ok, me”. Ok so how do I explain this? There’s nothing wrong with being gay, I’m not afraid of being attracted to the same sex. It’s more of this constant thought of “am I? What if I’m not? Who can I tell? Who can I not tell? Ok but am I though?” Idk if that helped or not, honestly feel free to as me specific questions, I feel that might be easier
I have struggled with this a lot. A big part of it is not knowing. I have identified as bisexual since I was 15 because I feel like my orientation has always varied. I also struggle with feeling romantic and sexual attractions to women but only sexually at actions to guys. Which has always made me wonder if I was or wasn’t gay.
before I had hocd i was comfortable with being bisexual and then once my hocd kicked in, it makes me obsess over my sexuality and freak out about it, which is something i would normally never do... it’s a really weird thing and I obviously know there’s nothing wrong with being gay because I identified as bisexual before my hocd but whenever it gets bad, it feels like it’s the end of the world. really confusing and weird
@Camyrn so is it more of the not knowing as opposed to a fear?
I have also met someone in a support group who came out as gay and was comfortably gay for ten years. He now often struggled with this in reverse. He ha
thank you everyone for your responses!
It’s not that you have any problem with gay people or anything it’s just like “oh shit what if I’m gay” but you’ve never been gay before and then because all of the stuff going on in your head you look at women that before HOCD you would have fancied and aren’t attracted to them because you’re forcing yourself to be attracted. Then you start thinking I must be attracted to men and then you start noticing the attributes of men that everyone notices (strong jaw line, big biceps, etc.) and you see this as confirmation that you are gay but the thought of being with another man does not comfort you, it freaks you the fuck out. You only desire to be with women but feel as though you don’t have a choice in the matter and your need to control takes over and you begin to make concise arguments as to what your orientation is (being a lawyer this is very tough, I’m trained to make strong arguments) and then you’re stuck in limbo as I call it. You’re afraid of being gay but if you were you’d have to live with it so fuck it, what can you do? But you know in your heart of hearts that that’s not you and you enter an identity crisis. Hope this explains
It’s ridiculous how much people discussing HOCD bothers me. I know it’s a form of OCD, which I understand is out of the person’s control. I know mental illness is not a choice. I have OCD, so I get it. I get invasive thoughts about being hetero, so it makes sense that it works the other way too. I know the people who have HOCD aren’t necessarily homophobic. It does kind of make me feel like my sexuality is a worst case scenario, though. I can’t help but think “people are as afraid of being like me, as I am of heart attacks”. Idk. It just almost feels like people are saying “oh no what if I’m gay” “don’t worry, you’re straight. You’re okay because you’re straight” (which I know isn’t the case). It could just be because of the lack of positivity I’ve seen surrounding the queer community lately, though. I’m not trying to call out or invalidate people with HOCD though, I know it’s something that they don’t enjoy, and it’s something they suffer with just as much as I suffer with my OCD. Sorry, just needed to get that off my chest
I’ve never heard of HOCD. When I read about it, it says “fear of being homosexual when you are straight or vice versa,” yet it’s still called “homosexual OCD.” I’m a lesbian and I am having a hard time wrapping my head around this concept because honestly the symptoms sound kind of homophobic? Constantly FEARING you might be gay? I’m trying to think of it from other people’s perspective and trying not to be insensitive, it’s just that when I was questioning my sexuality it’s because I was actually gay, and the symptoms sound a lot like someone just discovering their sexuality but being struck with fear and hiding it. Thoughts?
Can someone explain to me the difference between HOCD and questioning your sexuality? I see several posts regarding fears about having romantic feelings towards the same sex and I wonder if that really means someone is gay and afraid to admit it to themselves? I’m not asking to be offensive, I really just don’t understand that form of OCD.
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