my therapist just told me he doesn’t know if this is ocd or avoidance. my greatest fears have just been confirmed.

he has been trained in ocd. that’s what scares me. i have never been this panicked. i even like broke it off with my bf cause of it

@me There are people who can treat OCD but not SO OCD since it is so taboo and most of them don’t even receive training to do it. So though he may be trained in OCD, he may not be trained in SO OCD. That is something to ask him about. Ask: are you formally trained in dealing with patients that have SO OCD? Am I your first SO OCD patient? What do you know about SO OCD? If those answers are not sufficient for you, see someone else. I highly recommend a NOCD therapist. That’s the thing with having SO OCD. Even people who have general training in OCD can’t treat it because it’s so taboo and it’s not talked about often. That’s something you should always ask a therapist. Do you have experience with my disorder and do you have experience with this theme? I hate for you to keep spiraling like this and I’m so sorry you felt like you had to break up with your boyfriend. Hopefully you can get this sorted out. The fact that he even said that to you kinda makes me suspect he doesn’t know just because that is obviously very triggering to anyone with SO OCD and while erp is good, having someone say something like that out of erp context is damaging.

@stop. it’s so intense that i had a 5 hour freak out where i could not move or stop crying and felt i couldn’t breathe after therapy,,,

@stop. i’m scared that the fact that i have these freak outs with my bf every few days is because i’m actually gay

@me I understand. I remember telling my mom about having SO OCD when I was 15 (big mistake) and she said I was just in denial. My heart sunk and I was depressed for weeks. It felt real. But now I have a diagnosis and I work with a NOCD therapist. It feels less real now. Try not to focus too much on what those feelings are, but focus on getting yourself the best care. OCD is very hard and I get jealous of people that have this all figured out. Maybe take a while to gather yourself too. Gather some resources and prepare. When you’re ready, you can talk with your ex about it and explain yourself. There’s plenty of videos and articles that explain SO OCD very well. Here’s one: https://www.sheppardpratt.org/news-views/story/sexual-orientation-ocd-a-k-a-so-ocd-or-hocd/

@stop. thank you. like so so so much. i reached out to schedule an appt with a nocd therapist.

@me Awesome! I wish you only the best!!

@stop. same to u. u have really shifted my day around and i’m very grateful !