is it just me or some days you're so convinced you're gay/bi and you're "accepting" it(the thoughts seem so real like you want them, but in reality you don't and they bother you) and others you're like super certain you're straight? or am i really gay? please help i am freaking out

When my OCD started out I had a lot of that and general running around trying to figure out whether I was really gay or straight. The bisexuality angle was another one that gave me relief for maybe a day or two before things started back up. Something that has helped me is to stop trying to fit into any one box. I'm not going to insist I'm straight, that I'm gay, that I'm bisexual, or anything. Instead of having a solid label, which gives certainty, I'm going to float around without a label in a sea of uncertainty. It wasn't easy at first, some days are better than others, but getting over that need for certainty seems to be a big factor in overcoming OCD.

Uncertainty is hard, but striving for certainty that you'll never truly have is even harder. You have to do what your comfortable with exploring, but I think you'd benefit with exercises really exposing you to the possibility of wanting to be with a woman. Once you're comfortable with that idea I think you could broaden your view to not ever truly knowing with 100% certainty what your sexual orientation is. What do those exercises look like? It could be opening up magazines or looking online for pictures of women and rating their attractive features. It could be writing journal entries about having a certain crush on a woman. It could also be writing out all the "bad things" you believe would happen if you turned out to be gay, and then accepting they COULD happen. All of this is hard, but small steps today will mean big progress tomorrow.

No one can tell you what you are. BUT I believe that if I were truly gay, I wouldn’t have days where I felt totally straight.