I suspect I have HOCD "that was porn induced" making me think I'm Bisexual when I've always been straight (I'm 25 y.o with no history of OCD), and I can't afford therapy nor get in touch with NOCD therapist because they're not available in my country so I can't get a proper diagnosis but I guess ERP won't harm even if I don't really have HOCD. Do you have any tips and steps to follow in order to do self ERP to overcome my OCD and the confusion? Thanks

Thanks, I would keep this technic in mind. That's the thing, I don't have a problem being bi, it's not like I'm obliged to act on it, I'm in a relationship and I love my girl, I don't really have any attraction to the same-sex and still turned on by girls even tho I feel that my sex drive is kinda low (probably from the anxiety or because I stopped watching porn) that's why I suspect it's just the aftermath of watching that porn. But I'm anxious as I read so much stories about how people got hocd from porn and it affected them heavily, and now I'm struggling with the shame and guilt of watching that porn as it keeps coming back to haunt me, and the multiple stories that gave me anxiety (Probably sexual performance anxiety, even tho I've never had any problems before)...It's really a mess up in my head, that's why I'm following the CBT (ERP) path in order to clear it my mind from the confusion and from the pure ocd if I have it. (Therapy is always good, I'm trying to practice mindfulness meditation too)

@Hewhohasnoname I will keep this technique in mind*

@Hewhohasnoname Thank you for your reply :) It’s easier said than done but don’t feel ashamed and guilty from watching porn in the past. We’re literally sold to by the media that for men, porn is natural, “if you don’t watch porn then are you even a man?!”. This is ridiculous because sex in porn isn’t completely real. It’s a business and we’re the customers, they want us to keep watching. And for women, we’re told that porn can be good for our sexual expression but for a lot of women it’s had opposite effects. We can’t change the past but we can change what we do today. Perhaps write down the feelings of shame and guilt on a piece of paper and throw it in the bin. Whilst you do that, imagine yourself throwing away the guilt and shame too. Yesterday has passed and tomorrow is not promised. Every second is a new chance. You are human. What would you say to me in the same situation? Give yourself the kindness you would give to others :)

@Anonymous I would've told the same thing, but it's a bit hard when it comes to one's self, we're always hard on ourselves. I guess I'm just startled because it came from porn escalation, and I'm someone who likes to have control over the aspects of his life and I feel that I lost control over this one and done something that doesn't match my identity at all.

@Hewhohasnoname I’ve also struggled with porn too. I realised that I was using it to escape reality - all my responsibilities and work. Used it as a destresser. I’ve started overcoming the shame and guilt from recognising that I was not conscious of my actions. I was doing them, but I didn’t know the effects and was sold a story that it’s healthy. I did it too after I realised it was unhealthy too. But now I know it’s not all my fault that I was watching it. But I’ve regained my autonomy of choice. Sometimes I still want to watch it and masturbate but I don’t and each time I stop myself is me gaining control. So try and view each time you stop yourself from watching porn as you gaining the control you had lost once. I would recommend reading some stoic philosophy, it’s provided me good frameworks for life.

What do you mean? I don'r quite understand your comment, could you add more info to it?