I did something really disgusting and perverted earlier today, not to mention illegal. I cannot stop feeling disgusted with myself and panicking about how I will probably be caught and arrested, and I can feel it starting to become an obsession. Should I confess to my mom to relieve the guilt and make myself feel a little better? Should I turn myself in?

I’m so sorry to have to do this, but do you mind? I cannot stop feeling horrible and disgusting

@missbluesky Not at all, I’m here for you

@PinkLotus Thank you so much.

@missbluesky Of course :)

@PinkLotus I feel so completely disgusted with myself and I’m not sure what to do

@missbluesky Hmm well if it’s any consolation I did that when I was around 12-14, I was masturbating several times a day to just about anything. I also had that same fear that someone saw me or that someone would know. While it’s definitely out there, I don’t think you’re going to be arrested and there’s no need to turn yourself in. Should you have have done it? Well maybe you could’ve covered the windows or used a bathroom, but it isn’t the end of anything. You’re human. Humans do weird things. Try to sit in the uncertainty that maybe something could happen, or maybe it won’t. You’re okay now, you’re safe, no cops have come barreling down your door. There’s no need for alarm

@PinkLotus Thanks so much for your kindness. I have been researching all day about what kind of trouble I would get into or if I would get caught, so knowing that someone else has done it and not been arrested makes me feel a bit better. Still, I feel so stupid. It was broad daylight, about 1 o’clock, I was in the middle of a semi-full and massive parking lot....not to mention, I feel so perverted and wrong. If I could take it back I would. I can’t help but feel that I should switch gyms and never go back there again.

@missbluesky I would definitely stop researching!! Only gonna fuel your fear as you well know by now haha. Can I ask where you did it? It’s okay to feel guilty and it’s okay to feel anxious, you’re not a monster and there’s been much worse done in gym parking lots. Try to sit with that uncertainty and go back to the gym anyways, even if just for a day

@PinkLotus I did it in the drivers seat, leaned all the way back. I kept checking to see if there was anyone around and made sure there wasn’t, but I’m terrified I was somehow caught on camera. If I were to be caught, I would literally have to register as a sex offender and would have to drop out of college.

@missbluesky Ah okay I see, well maybe you did get caught.. or maybe you didn’t. It’d be pretty hard to see if you were leaned all the way back. Try to breathe and relax, do something to distract yourself from the rumination. You’re okay as of here and now.

@missbluesky You’re going to be okay.

@PinkLotus Thank you for being so nice. I feel like I dont deserve it.

@PinkLotus I really don’t want to be a sex offender. I would never get a job or be able to live anywhere nice or live the kind of life I want to live. I would kill myself if I was caught.

@PinkLotus I know that sounds insane but it would ruin my whole life, all because I did something incredibly stupid. I literally didn’t even end up going to the gym, I was too terrified.

@missbluesky Honestly girl, I’ve never heard of anyone I know losing everything because they were caught masturbating in a car. If children were watching or something then that’s different, you were just being a little out there with no privacy like you said. I don’t think anyone is going to go and look back at any security footage and stare at someone alone in their car. Give yoursef a break, you need rest

@PinkLotus I have no clue what to do. I was probably caught on camera

@missbluesky Maybe. Maybe not. You don’t even know if there was a camera!