Melodyocd
- Date posted
- 4y
Susan4444Susan4444
- Date posted
- 4y
Give it a day and see how you feel. Drinking makes me super depressed for about 24hrs. You’ll feel better tomorrow
MelodyocdMelodyocd
- Date posted
- 4y
Yeah I’m hoping tomorrow is better, thank you
bluebellbluebell
- Date posted
- 4y
Hey :) I’m the same. The day after drinking I feel like a different person, usually full of shame, guilt & as you say, anxiety. And yeah, it’s very common! I think because you’re already anxious, the OCD has started to flare up. I could look back at my life, and find every moment where I’ve been friendly with girls and, with OCD logic, attach meaning to each of those moments. But, as ‘necessary’ as it feels to find an answer, OCD doesn’t allow there to be one. And even undeniable confirmation that you’re not gay/bi will only last for a certain amount of time before the doubt finds a crack to creep through. Everything you mention here is OCD, and that may be reassurance but it’s true. And because you’ve got HOCD on the mind, you’re probably overanalysing how you feel towards these guys chatting you up, and as a result you’re like ‘oh shit I don’t like them, that means I’m x, y, z’ - which I’ve also done. And I completely get this, I hate feeling like I look bad - but you couldn’t have looked bad if guys were showing interest in you. We think we look worse than we do, and I’m sure you looked beautiful!!!
MelodyocdMelodyocd
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you so much! I honestly think I need to stop drinking, it’s not worth the anxiety for me. It’s just so hard when that’s what our going out culture is here in the uk. And yes very true I guess I’m attaching meaning to everything, I always do the “I don’t like this guy what does that mean thing” and it’s horrible, I feel like I need to fancy every guy you know? And naw thank you, I think it was because my friend was getting literally everyone going up to her and telling her she looked amazing but no one came up to me haha. And these guys were only chatting me up because I was the only girl alone I think
bluebellbluebell
- Date posted
- 4y
Yeah, if that’s what your gut feeling is telling you then that’s fine. It’s not like alcohols healthy anyway, lol. Maybe when you’re out, just have a few drinks and never get to the extent where you’re tipsy or whatever! Aw, yeah I understand. I know that when I’ve been in situations like that it makes me feel like I must look awful, but it’s all playing out in your mind and you shouldn’t believe everything you think. By the way, I’m just wondering whether you have Instagram lol. I just think it would be cool to know people with my theme. Completely fine if you’re uncomfortable with that, I get it.
MelodyocdMelodyocd
- Date posted
- 4y
Yeah I might do tbf! I quite like the idea of going out and just drinking Diet Coke all night anyways haha! And I do have insta! I’m a bit uncomfortable putting it on here though as I do kinda keep who I am a secret (because of this theme) but I agree I would also love to know others going through the same thing, I wish there was a way to private message on this app sometimes!
bluebellbluebell
- Date posted
- 4y
@Melodyocd Yeah! Lmao. You’re more smart than me, i didn’t think that anyone on here would know me, but to think of it I have a few friends who I know have OCD who could be here and I’d just be revealing to them my theme and that’s awkward. And yeah, I know :( anyway! Wishing you well 🤍
MelodyocdMelodyocd
- Date posted
- 4y
@P🤍 Awh wishing you well too!!
MelodyocdMelodyocd
- Date posted
- 4y
@P🤍 I think I’ve just followed you! :)
girlwithocd..girlwithocd..
- Date posted
- 4y
I can relate a lot to this. I also worry a lot after drinking with my friends. You said that holding a girls hand maybe felt good to you, and I also worry a lot when a girl approaches me in a way that triggers me. But I try to think that it maybe just feels nice that they like to hang with me and it’s a good feeling when we feel close or feel liked by another girl (as a friend!) like it’s just a good feeling to have friends, and have a good time. Girl friends are often more close with body language than guys, and I just try to say to myself that it’s just nice to have friends? Idk, I don’t know how I should feel with girl friends anymore tbh..🤣😖
MelodyocdMelodyocd
- Date posted
- 4y
I know exactly what you mean! Whenever a girl is nice to me or gives me a compliment (or even my mum giving me a hug) I automatically get scared, I just know it’s going to make my overthink and check to see if I liked it or something :( it makes me only want to hang out with guys, which sucks bc my girl friends are amazing and fun to hang out with!
Hi200Hi200
- Date posted
- 4y
Holding hands with another girl is not a sign that you’re gay. Many straight people do this with their friends! Also with the guys at the bar, attraction is complicated and attraction with OCD is even more complicated. Trust yourself that when you are attracted to someone that it will be a conscious instinct and not caused by OCD. Keep going 💪🏻
MelodyocdMelodyocd
- Date posted
- 4y
I know deep down you’re right, I think it’s a combination of this theme, me being drunk and also I was in a situation which was quite scary for me (I went to a place I had never been before, with people I didn’t know and it wasn’t planned), so all of that combined has led me to be very anxious about what happened. And yes very true, I have to remind myself that I’m not going to fancy every guy I see, I just feel nothing towards anyone any more, no crushes no “ooo he’s good looking” feelings, I’m just numb to all emotions apart from the bad ones it seems!
Hi200Hi200
- Date posted
- 4y
@Melodyocd You’ll get through this 💪🏻 just the fact you went out last night is amazing! That’s a great step and you should be proud because I sure am of you!!!
MelodyocdMelodyocd
- Date posted
- 4y
@OCD Advice Awh thank you so so much!
Related posts
rugirl48!
- Date posted
- 18w
I am really scared to kiss a guy
I am a 21(female). I have only ever kissed one guy and it was horrible and I cried after. I stress about my sexuality constantly. I only want to be straight and know I want to end up with a man, but picturing it stressed me out and I am so scared to kiss a guy I think about it and get so stressed and cry immediately. I have severe intrusive thoughts about kissing everyone my teachers my best friends and it creeps me out and then I go down a rabbit hole of sexual orientation ocd! If anyone has any tips that might help that would be great. Again I don’t want or think I am gay but being so scared to be intimate with a man starts me down a spiral.
leagueplayer
- Date posted
- 11w
Feeling Like I’m The Only One
Im a straight man and sometimes I make the mistake of compulsively getting on here. It’s gotten better but I slip sometimes. I feel like I’m alone in this and I even read on some OCD page that Women are more likely to suffer from this theme than Men. That just makes me feel like I’m in denial of some sort. I feel alone and feel like my intrusive thoughts are different. I know that’s what everyone who has ocd thinks, but I can’t help shake the feeling like what if I’m lying to myself or what if I have some underlying secret. I don’t want to be gay. I find I argue with myself in my head over and over and sometimes by repeating “I don’t want to be gay, I want to be straight” I’ll end up saying the opposite and that would scare me even though I know that It happened because I’m constantly fighting with OCD. Just feeling a bit down today. I had a sexual dream about an ex girlfriend and it felt great and I’m not scared by it. I find and want to be with Women romantically til forever.
ifeelstuck
- Date posted
- 8w
Heavy Feelings
I am having horrible regression in my recovery. Tonight i'm feeling really alone and sick from anxiety, i'm feeling scared to be alone with my thoughts. I had a family dinner with my sister, brother and mom today and I couldn't help but feel super dissociated. They are all laughing and talking while i'm just existing. I have a loud voice telling me I messed up, i'm dirty, i'm causing them harm. Being around people brings out the worst in my mind because i really want to be normal. My sister and brother did karaoke and sang Disney songs together and they sounded so beautiful and it made me sad because i truly don't feel like i will be able to ever live up to them. They are truly so smart and have their lives laid out for them. My mom takes my disorder personally and often says things like "you're disgusted of me" "you can't even touch me". I know she views me as the weakest one out of us 3, she favors them it's so apparent. My mom has bpd and being around her sinks me so deep. I feel so freaking alone guys and my ocd is actually spiraling me into a bad depression and my thoughts are becoming more serious. I do not feel comfortable in my mind or my body, i rely on distraction constantly running from myself.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond