When I fantasize about my partner I feel like I imagine it from a weird pov where I imagine him doing the actions but I’m not him? Almost like an observer of us but leaning a little towards his point of view. I’m not sure how to explain it but now I feel like it’s a “sign” because I don’t imagine it from my point of view. 🙄🙄

Omg I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve worried about this exact thing. I daydream a lot about scenarios of guys I like/ celebs whatever and it’s always in like third person, kinda like I’m watching a film? And I used to always worry this meant something, I can’t think in first person at all, like it’s so difficult unless it’s a memeory obviously. But the second it’s a day dream it’s always in third person :(

I don’t know if it does for everyone but it did for me! Like I was so shy and worried all the time that I would do something weird/wrong or that I wasn’t adequate enough or turned on enough. It was all one big stress fest. That (almost) all went away with time and experience and great partners! The hocd though I did therapy for and still have to manage, trying to use the techniques in therapy.

Wow I relate to these comments so much. It’s nice to not feel so alone ❤️🥺🥰 but also yeah I used to get stressed a lot but did realize that everyone has different ways of thinking and visualizing so it doesn’t mean anything

Nvm it doesn’t matter, I like what I like. It doesn’t mean I’m lesbian just because I fantasize about me and a MALE

I’m just going to rant here about sex and intimacy because I feel like I have so many false notions and fears around it that make it so hard for me and thus just fuel my obsession 1.) sex is SO glorified in the media, you grow up with this idea that you’re supposed to have mind blowing orgasms every time and if you don’t then somehow you and your partner aren’t meant for each other 2.) the porn I watched as a stupid child made me feel like I was a sex object so when the time came to be intimate I had no clue as to what I wanted to do and how to please because all I knew was basically lay there and let your partner do the work 3.) adults make it seem like it’s so wrong to partake in intimacy. I do believe sex is sacred and should be shared with someone special but there’s nothing wrong with wanting to have an open sex life. My parents made me feel like I was a whore or something if I wanted to enjoy anything so now whenever I do things I feel like I’m doing something wrong and committing a crime 4.) I have such a huge fear of getting pregnant that it’s heavy on my mind when doing things 5.) I feel like my body looks weird or smells bad and it’s kinda scary to think of exposing myself like that to my partner 6.) I worry that if I don’t please my partner he’s going to abandon me or cheat or not think highly of me which isn’t the case but it’s true. I feel pressured to do well 7.) I’m shy and awkward and sometimes it’s so WEIRD to just sit there in silence doing something for my partner. I love knowing I’m pleasing him but if he’s quiet and makes no reaction it’s like um...why are we doing this? 8.) his body still freaks me out a little like I still can’t believe i can have someone in front of me so exposed. I want to please him but reaching out to touch him is so scary because I don’t know what to do and I don’t want to do a bad job 9.) my anxiety makes it really hard to focus sometimes it’s like, “Do I really like this?” “You’re forcing it.” “You’re only getting off to yourself.” or ill just start comparing myself to people from his past or if I’m stressed I simply won’t be in the mood 10.) I’m honestly not a super sexual person, it’s more about the connection for me. The actual sex itself doesn’t do much for me, it’s all about me and my partner close together sharing pleasure. 11.) it’s just scary, it’s a lot to take on and it’s my first time being with someone and I want it to be good. I love him. We deserve to feel good in our physical bond.

It’s like I’m watching us but also watching what he does to me