The hardest thing about ocd treatment is to stop doing the compulsions. I have "pure O" and I do alot of mental compulsions and I've been doing them for a long time and I got used to them. I don't even need to do anything or expose myself to anything to trigger my anxiety. The thought can just pop in my head and I start getting anxious. I know I shouldn't be giving them attention or engaging in them but sometimes I feel it's too hard and I just can't resist. Can anyone give me any helpful advice?

Following this

Can you give an example of “pure o” thought? Just now learning about the different types. But have been dealing with ocd since childhood

Not sure if that’s the same as me...I feel like i am going to mess things up, something I care about: an interaction with someone, a work thing, my marriage etc. I imagine the worst and make it happen on purpose and use that as a way to be like”see, you didn’t deserve it any other way” I can’t let it go well because that would mean I could be happy. I hate thinking or being this way but I have no choice to punish myself. I have lost all confidence in everything, I doubt all my own thoughts...etc. Does that make any sense?

Yeah it's basically what I'm experiencing as well. I doubt everything I believe in. Like I want myself to be a certain way or have certain thoughts or opinions and I fear I can't be like that and it causes me alot of distress and anxiety. I don't want to change as a person and I always feel like I'm changing or being things or believing in things I don't want to believe in. It's very hard.

When you say you want yourself to be a certain way...but you can’t and it’s sucks. I totally get that! Wondering, are those thoughts positive? Like you would be happier if you could be a certain way? Then you said you don’t want to change as a person but find your self morphing into those things you think you should? I feel like I am always thinking about how I NEED/WANT to change myself. It’s all so exhausting isn’t it? I always think about how amazing I could be if so much of my brain power / energy/ focus wasn’t about this shit!