- Date posted
- 3y ago
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Let me ask you a question now, does being with the sex you are concerned or fear about give you comfort? I know your mind tells you to do it and your body may react like you’re actually attracted, but does it make YOU comfortable? When you’re attracted to someone, you want to be around around them, their presence gives you comfort and you generally enjoy being around them without questioning it. Now everyone is different and I don’t want to give you assurance that what I’m saying is a guaranteed truth. But, for me, when I have struggled or do struggle with “my mind is telling me I want to be the same sex, I can’t stop having thoughts about it, it feels like I get aroused by men, I don’t feel the same about the opposite sex like I used to” I’ll ask myself, “can you honestly be yourself and enjoy wanting to be with the same sex?” And even though my mind will try convincing me that I do, I know if I am in that situation, I would react the same way I would BEFORE my ocd began, because that’s my normal response, I would decline it.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Anonymous So, in my experience, since I’m a straight man, when I was going through it, I would look at men online who are perceived to be attractive to many others. I would look and check myself to see constantly if I was attracted to them based off how my “groin” would react. Not once did I actually become aroused, but at the rate I was going, I would never stop because I always had to “be sure” that I for sure was never aroused. It lead me to watch gay porn once and it didn’t feel right to me from the start to finish. Despite all of that, my mind would still tell me “just watch it again, the more you do, the more you’ll learn to enjoy it because it’s who you are now” well, it doesn’t make sense to me to say I’m a orientation that doesn’t sit right with who I am and who I’ve always known myself to be. To address your question specifically, it sounds like to me and correct me if I’m wrong, that you’re forcing yourself to be exposed to content to check yourself. That sounds like a compulsion to me and I would recommend from personal experience that you should cut down on doing that. Because as I described above, no matter how many times you expose yourself to it, or even physically do it, if you’re questioning it this much and it’s giving you this much stress, entertaining it will very likely only cause you more confusion and anxiety.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I go through the same thing. I sit with it then picture myself with my eyes open how I want to be.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I feel you, I’ve dealt with groinal sensations a lot the last year. My therapist told me the science behind a groinal and how it’s not a real arousal, I wish I would’ve written it down and remembered what she said. It’s frightening, and I still deal with it, I personally don’t want to feel an erection towards the same sex because I’ve always been attracted to the opposite sex and never questioned it the first 24 years of my life. And it’s where I still feel comfortable to this day. To combat it, it’s much easier said than done, but it’s apart of exposure response/imaginal response therapy. I don’t want to tell you exactly how to expose yourself, because you should never do it on your own or without the advice of a licensed professional. So I can’t tell you sadly what that looks like for you, but the end result basically is when you do exposures that have been mapped out for you, you will be able to train your mind to not tense up, feel uncomfortable, or worry about how your body will react to whatever sex it is that you fear you’re attracted to.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Anonymous i feel exactly the same and now i am in a place of confusion of whether it's really hocd or just denial, i feel you and i've done everything you're describing, just hang in there you're not alone xx
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Thank you guys for the comments im going through this process again and this time anxiety isnt high at all its all groinal and intrusive thoughts
Related posts
- Date posted
- 15w ago
Every time I go to bed late and I’m falling asleep, I suddenly get an intrusive thought of a child’s face and my groinal area always responds to it. It’s such an uncomfortable experience. I am way too tired to try and freak out so I end up falling asleep. The next morning I’m always trying to figure out whether I had the groinal response first or after the thought. I start giving OCD power but it feels like If I let it go, then I’m in denial or whatever. I don’t want to ever do anything sexual with a child. I don’t even feel comfortable talking platonically with people who are 17, much less a child. My therapist says that I have a deep rooted fear that I’m this horrible person and that OCD loves to feed off of it. When you get a groinal response, it makes the thought that much more real. I never want these things to happen. I want to only be into adults. It’s so discomforting and stressful. Especially since I’m hyper checking how anxious I am, and if I find I didn’t really have much anxiety, then I’m like “well if I didn’t have anxiety, what does this mean?” And more questions occur til I end up in a rabbit hole
- Date posted
- 9w ago
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
- Date posted
- 8w ago
I keep getting these groinal responses when I think about kids or see one and it's really distressing, I only just learned that OCD can make you feel that and it's not actually attraction but it's so hard to remember that and I've seen people talking about accepting uncertainty but I'm so scared to think "maybe it's attraction maybe it's not" instead of "no it's not attraction that's disgusting" and idk what to do
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