This might be TMI, but I just had sex with my boyfriend this morning and was literally in my head the entire time. Questioning myself, am I into this? Would I be more into this if he was a girl? Literally couldn’t enjoy myself fully because my mind just wouldn’t shut off. Any advice on how to shut it off? I can’t stop crying. I feel like I would actually enjoy it if I wasn’t so in my head the entire time. I’ve never had this problem before, but now it’s becoming an issue

Hey there, I completely empathise with you here because I’ve been there. Without providing too much reassurance, I want you to know that this is pretty universal for people with HOCD. And as you say, the fact that you’re in your head is really the cause of the issue. Sex is very triggering because it’s the perfect ‘testing’ opportunity. OCD is a self-fulfilling prophecy, the more I think, ‘what if I don’t like this?’, ‘what if I would prefer this with a girl?’. The question becomes so powerful that it starts to actualise itself and you feel like it’s coming true. Anxiety is the BIGGEST libido killer too. I’m sorry you had to go through that, I’m sure it was really, really unpleasant. Try and not let it consume your day, focus on things you need to get done. This is most definitely OCD, and that means in engaging is just going to perpetuate how you feel! Sending love ❤️

You can’t shut off your mind but when you stop feeding the thoughts like you’re doing they more than likely will go away

I really appreciate your kind words! Conquering the day became easier with this encouragement. I really do appreciate it!

Thank you so much for posting this. This literally happened to me yesterday. I was in my head and everything I did with my boyfriend felt like I test. I kept thinking would this be better if it was a girl. It drove me crazy. And today I’m really trying to stick with the uncertainty that maybe, maybe not. But I keep falling into compulsions. Especially when as I’m sure you feel, our taboo thoughts feel 89 times more intense then regular thoughts. Regardless, it’s so encouraging to not be the only person dealing with this and we will get through this.

I’m definitely here if you want to talk! Those days suck so bad, but we got this! Just try to sit with the anxiety and let it come and go.