- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Hey there, I completely empathise with you here because I’ve been there. Without providing too much reassurance, I want you to know that this is pretty universal for people with HOCD. And as you say, the fact that you’re in your head is really the cause of the issue. Sex is very triggering because it’s the perfect ‘testing’ opportunity. OCD is a self-fulfilling prophecy, the more I think, ‘what if I don’t like this?’, ‘what if I would prefer this with a girl?’. The question becomes so powerful that it starts to actualise itself and you feel like it’s coming true. Anxiety is the BIGGEST libido killer too. I’m sorry you had to go through that, I’m sure it was really, really unpleasant. Try and not let it consume your day, focus on things you need to get done. This is most definitely OCD, and that means in engaging is just going to perpetuate how you feel! Sending love ❤️
- Date posted
- 4y
You can’t shut off your mind but when you stop feeding the thoughts like you’re doing they more than likely will go away
- Date posted
- 4y
I really appreciate your kind words! Conquering the day became easier with this encouragement. I really do appreciate it!
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you so much for posting this. This literally happened to me yesterday. I was in my head and everything I did with my boyfriend felt like I test. I kept thinking would this be better if it was a girl. It drove me crazy. And today I’m really trying to stick with the uncertainty that maybe, maybe not. But I keep falling into compulsions. Especially when as I’m sure you feel, our taboo thoughts feel 89 times more intense then regular thoughts. Regardless, it’s so encouraging to not be the only person dealing with this and we will get through this.
- Date posted
- 4y
I’m definitely here if you want to talk! Those days suck so bad, but we got this! Just try to sit with the anxiety and let it come and go.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
Hey yall, having a tough time. I’ve been struggling with intrusive thoughts while I self pleasure and it GENUIENLY feels like I enjoy them for whatever reason. And then now about half an hour later it’s like okay it’s a sexual thought but I might not actually like it. Idk I just really hate myself, because I basically genuinely liked it in the moment
- Date posted
- 24w
My boyfriend and I started dating a little over a month ago. We’ve now started discussing the next step in our relationship: intimacy. It feels quick, but we’ve known each other well over a year and we were really close friends before dating. I don’t feel ready for sex yet but we’ve started with baby steps. While kissing, my mind started to wander and he started kissing my chest (he asked first, I gave consent, and I was comfortable with him), but frankly I was bored. There were parts that were good and parts that could use some work. I didn’t tell him what felt good and what didn’t like I should have and when he asked my mind went blank. The other night he came over for dinner and we began to talk about it. He started crying and saying how he didn’t want to disappoint me. I felt so shut down because I felt like I was the one in a vulnerable situation and I was the one that wanted to talk but there I was, taking care of him. I ended up communicating what I wanted and I appreciated that he cared enough to ask and listen but at the same time he didn’t really listen because he was caught up in his own emotions. All day long I cannot get it off my mind, seriously. I looked down midway through the day to see I had dug my fingernails into the pad of my pointer finger to the point where there was a deep mark. I have felt extremely anxious and like an awful girlfriend. I do not want to have sex with him if the thought of not doing well kissing my chest upsets him to the point of tears. I just felt bad for not enjoying myself and not telling him that, but I got frustrated that he almost… victimized himself? I feel like I’m manipulating him someway and I just don’t know how. I also feel bad for not being attracted to what he was doing and I’m scared it will lead to losing all attraction. Please help, am I awful for feeling frustrated that he cried?
- Date posted
- 23w
I was doing very well with all my thoughts but then they started to get really bad this week. I am very sure I am straight and only want to be with a man but I have such good relationships with my girl friends and my mind plays tricks on me and likes to make me think it’s more than just a friendship. And this voice in my head tells me it’s not disgusting when in reality I would never do anything physical with them at all.But they get so intense I start to believe it. I just am not sure how to get out of this cycle. Every time I get better I think about getting in a relationship with a man and i freak out (what if i don’t like it? does that mean ill have to be gay) and all these thoughts blow up in my face and so can’t take it anymore. My bestie is coming to visit me and the thoughts get so intense when she is around and i really want to be in a good head space to spend time with her because i know deep down she’s my best friend and nothing more. Any suggestion to help?
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