I am overwhelmed, so overwhelmed. Because at first I thought what I had might be OCD, but I don’t think anymore. Days ago I would post very often in here looking for reassurance, I would self reassurance and ruminate a lot. But lately it hasn’t been that way, I barely post in here looking for reassurance, and now I fear it might not be OCD. Lately I’ve been just feeling disturbed by my own mind, I fear I might have something worse than just OCD. I don’t know why am I typing this here, it’s not like you guys could bring me a solution, but I would like to know if someone has ever felt like this. I don’t know if the way I’ve been feeling has some connection with my Harm thoughts. But lately I’ve been feeling so strange, I feel so disturbed, like I am crazy, or like I am going crazy. Like my mind is a mess and I’m turning into a psychotic. And it really overwhelms me the fact that I don’t know if I want to actually cause harm or not. Is it that I already want it? Maybe I want it right now and I’m debating it for no reason. I don’t know I feel like I am living in a nightmare or in just some disturbing reality, or like I’m going in some sort of psychosis. I don’t know what’s going on in my head and I’m honestly scared. I feel like I’m going crazy in my own mind. And my harmful thoughts make it even worse because I feel like I could really do something and I honestly don’t know if I want to or not and ugh. It’s so hard feeling like this, like I am going in a psychosis phase or something.

Harm OCD

Jjss9905

Date posted: 4y

Ocd, intrusive thoughts, urges come in different forms and shapes. Even if you don't believe me, even if you believe that your case is different and that you really are a psychotic, one thing I'm telling you for sure: that is exactly what happened with me half a year ago and I may assure you I never wanted to actually do such things. I was just so stuck to my fears, to my thoughts, always trying to find out a solution and a certainty, a "truth"... I started doubting my own person, started being numb with the enormous amount of time I'd be spending trying to "discover" what was actually true. I still remember, I couldn't stand being next to my family because I would be so scared I would just run out of control, it's like I couldn't distinguish the mind from reality. There were also times I'd just feel numb, I wouldn't care what the thoughts would say, and those were the times I'd feel even worse. My thoughts were like, "oh you don't care, does that mean you actually...?" and let me tell you it meant nothing, I was just tired, numb, trying to get through the tuffest situation I've ever been exposed to. Want to know how I solved this and I don't even stress about it now? I accepted the uncertainty. I became bigger than my thoughts. I would say "this is my ocd, not me", I would realise my thoughts were there but I would just let them pass. Thoughts are just thoughts, and stay as thought. If you want to talk about it more, I'm glad to help!

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

Totally relate to this, thank you so so much!! It sucks to feel this way for sure, yes we do have to accept the uncertainty!!

[Deleted]

Date posted: 4y

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Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

My thoughts are about harming others:(, but thank you so much for sharing, it helps to know there’s people going through the same thing . I am so sorry you have to deal with this as well, I hope you get over this <3

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