- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Ocd, intrusive thoughts, urges come in different forms and shapes. Even if you don't believe me, even if you believe that your case is different and that you really are a psychotic, one thing I'm telling you for sure: that is exactly what happened with me half a year ago and I may assure you I never wanted to actually do such things. I was just so stuck to my fears, to my thoughts, always trying to find out a solution and a certainty, a "truth"... I started doubting my own person, started being numb with the enormous amount of time I'd be spending trying to "discover" what was actually true. I still remember, I couldn't stand being next to my family because I would be so scared I would just run out of control, it's like I couldn't distinguish the mind from reality. There were also times I'd just feel numb, I wouldn't care what the thoughts would say, and those were the times I'd feel even worse. My thoughts were like, "oh you don't care, does that mean you actually...?" and let me tell you it meant nothing, I was just tired, numb, trying to get through the tuffest situation I've ever been exposed to. Want to know how I solved this and I don't even stress about it now? I accepted the uncertainty. I became bigger than my thoughts. I would say "this is my ocd, not me", I would realise my thoughts were there but I would just let them pass. Thoughts are just thoughts, and stay as thought. If you want to talk about it more, I'm glad to help!
- Date posted
- 4y
Totally relate to this, thank you so so much!! It sucks to feel this way for sure, yes we do have to accept the uncertainty!!
- Date posted
- 4y
Comment deleted by user
- Date posted
- 4y
My thoughts are about harming others:(, but thank you so much for sharing, it helps to know there’s people going through the same thing . I am so sorry you have to deal with this as well, I hope you get over this <3
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
So, I don't know if anyone's going to comment on this post, but I've been doing pretty badly lately. I suffered from a second relapse of OCD around nearly a year ago, back when I first experienced OCD, I had all the symptoms, researching, crying none-stop, suicidal, etc, but now that it's been almost four years of this same theme. It doesn't feel nearly as bad anymore? It's almost like it brings me happiness??? I see people saying with confidence that they'd never do their intrusive thoughts but I can't agree with them, I'm not confident I won't do them, a few years ago, I'd say I'd NEVER do them and I would rather kill myself before doing them but now I can't say it. I don't know what's going on anymore and what makes it worse I think is that my feelings are all over the place, a part of me wants to give up while the other part of me is still fighting and I'm crying right now as I write this but I don't even know if I'm scared. Sometimes I just let myself "enjoy" the intrusive thoughts because I'm so tired and everytime I look at a reddit post about someone saying that they felt guilty for enjoying an intrusive thought, I don't feel that same emotion, and I keep researching and researching. It doesn't feel like OCD anymore. I can't even say I'm scares for the right reasons, my brain keeps telling me that I'm only scared because I don't want others to look down on me and the truth is that I actually "enjoy" the thoughts and I simply don't want to be looked down upon on society. I don't know what to do, I want to go in the bathroom and cry until I disappear
- Date posted
- 16w
I’ve never been diagnosed with OCD, but I relate so much to what people here are going through. I used to think it was just anxiety, and I felt like I could handle that. But lately I’ve been spiraling—constantly afraid that what I’m feeling is something worse, like psychosis or losing control of my mind. I feel so detached and scared, and I just want peace again. I have anxiety doing the smallest things, like the thought of waking up everyday and even eating give me straight up panic. I am afraid all the time, it’s paralyzing. And a lot of people say someone with psychosis wouldn’t worry that they’re in it, but then I convince myself I’ve been in it this whole time, and haven’t known, and that maybe I’ve been doing weird stuff. Idk. I also get really scared of labels. Even the idea of OCD makes me feel like I’ll never get better or like I’ll be stuck like this forever. I just want to be okay. If anyone has felt this way—confused, overwhelmed, or scared of what’s happening in their mind—I’d really appreciate any support or encouragement.
- Date posted
- 15w
I’m trying so hard to feel normal again but i cant i keep feeling like im being dramatic and that my symptoms aren’t real and im tricking everyone, even on here i feel like im tricking you all into believing i have OCD when i don’t. Plus all these other types thoughts im having all meshing together its so overwhelming and i dont know what to do. My therapist appointment isnt until next week and idek what shes gonna tell me or if she’ll even think i have OCD. i keep thinking about my other posts on here and wondering if i even meant what i said in them. this is the worst ive ever felt i think i might even be going through depersonalization or derealization but im not even sure about that i dont even know anything about what im really going through cause ive never been given any kind of formal diagnosis its only ever been depression and social anxiety but ive always had a feeling it was more but i keep doubting myself. maybe if anyone wants to look at some of my other posts and tell me what u think in general? or would that be reassurance seeking? i feel like most of my posts might be but im not sure.. IM NOT SURE ABOUT ANYTHING! this is so annoying
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