Man I am doing compulsions like crazy today. My anxiety about being a lesbian is super high. I keep getting the feeling that I was never as attracted as I should be go men. That thought is killing me ay the moment.

Ugh girly. I’m sorry I know I’m seeking reassurance. But I keep thinking about how when I was younger I don’t think I felt like a spark when kissing boys. So my ocd is latching on to that

@Legallyocd What age are you talking of? Cause if was like 5-6/7 i wouldn’t worry. (I know that’s saying a lot for ocd) At that age i chased boys around, kissed them, told them we would get married, called them cute, etc. i think we just knew we liked boys mothing else. And remember, lgbtq people did that w/ the same gender not the opposite and i dont remmeber ever doing that w/ the same gender

Can you reply to my post as well? Im having lost of anxiety

@hate_ocd.123 No when I was a teenager like 14

@hate_ocd.123 Yeah what did your post say ?

@Legallyocd It was a lot lol it starts with “slight triggerwarning not so sure”

@hate_ocd.123 Did you feel that way when you kissed a boy when you were teenager?

@Legallyocd And oh well im not to sure cause i struggle w/ that too I kissed a boy when i was 13 for a dare (my first kiss) and it was nice. I kissed him a lot that night but it was only a peck, the longest was 3 seconds. Then i kissed another boy after that and it was disgusting. His entire mouth (the inside of his lips) went around mine and i just felt slobber and slimy And that ruined kissing for me (im 18 now) cause hocd grabbed onto that and made me scared to kiss a guy again (and it used to not be like this, i fantasized about making out w/ guys when i was 15, but hocd relapsed and I watched a video that was “signs your a lesbian” and the girl was gay and described kissing boys like kissing a slug and that’s how it felt, so the rest is history) And honestly, anyone i’ve told that story too told me they’d be disgusted too cause he went in for the makeout, me the peck and his ENTIRE mouth went around mine and it was so slimy and i hate slimy things But yet im scared i’d like kissing a girl and feel like i would and just wanna cry:( but im also so uncomfortable when I get around a girl (like a friend or new person) and the intrusive thoughts start & I check & start thinking of that stuff cause then I get uncomfy and could never do it (the worst around other lgbtq) I was just so uncomfy and wished i didnt like or whatever the fuck i feel towards girls, cause i dont think this is liking them And ALSO love is a huge game changer as well with kissing I loved one guy and nothing disgust me at the thought of him. Every part i loved and i wanted to kiss him so bad, but things were complicated and we never did And there’s been times where im horny and wanna make out w/ a guy. Even when i was black out drunk like a few months ago (where you can’t control yourself & your true sexuality comes out) all i talked about was making out with a hot guy And i also am not scared to kiss other parts of a guy. Like doesnt disgust me or worry me. If anything it makes my heart race in a good way hehe (i think idk). Just lips cause of that one experience (also hate hate HATE saliva and slimy stuff). But yeah i honestly dunno Does it sound like im a lesbian and in denial? You can be brutally honest (i know reassurance is super bad)

@hate_ocd.123 No I don’t think so. I think that most of us on here can’t find the clarity we want because we are constantly anxious. For I never felt disgust kissing a boy, I just always felt pressure to be a good kisser so I didn’t focus on my feelings but I new I like doing it. And thank you so much for responding because I haven’t been doing well today at all. I think it’s because I’ve been alone all day and that when my thoughts get waaaaayyyy worse.

@Legallyocd Did any of your kisses feel like that?? :( Like i just feel the inside of his lips (like the slimy part of your lips)….has that ever happened to you?? Also, you dont have to answer, but how old are you??

I’m 18. And ohhh your so lucky to not have a horrible kiss like that🤣 Like if you run your tongue across the inside of your lips (the super slimy part) that’s ALL i felt and spit And also at that age i had like no sex drive, only romantic, so pecking was it for me and that was just too much

@hate_ocd.123 Exactly you see everyone is different but we all ocd playing the same tricks on us.

@Legallyocd Would you be disgusted if you got a kiss like that (espeically when its one of your first)