My ROCD is driving me insane lately. It's not giving me that much anxiety, which I know isn't a bad sign. But there's always that "if it's not making you anxious, it means you don't care" or something like that in the back of my mind. I get thoughts that I don't love him, or that he's just a friend (this one is because I don't enjoy sex that much.) I see myself putting too much thought into sex, as it isn't the most important thing in a relationship, but then I also see it as "if you're not having sex then you technically are just friends." Because that's like the difference between platonic and romantic. Another thing is the intrusive imaginations. Like, I'll imagine myself telling him I no longer love him, that I'm just not feeling it anymore, that he's not attractive enough, tall enough, or I think that everything he does is annoying/cringey even though it isn't, and the list goes on. We also live together, so it's hard because it breaks my heart to imagine doing those things, but I also know a lot of people who also get upset when breaking up with people even though it's what they "have" to do. You know, those couples that, nothing really went wrong, things just "weren't working." I'm scared I'll end up like that, where nothing is wrong, but I just don't feel the same anymore. Anyway, I just really wanted to get that off my chest. The part that bugs me the most is definitely the "just friends" thing because it's the most realistic.

Omg I went through this exactly so I know for a fact just how distressing and heartbreaking it can be. Try your best to keep from giving into compulsions. I did and I know I hurt and lost the guy I loved :(

thank you for getting this off your chest :) im going through the exact same, and seeing someone put it into words makes me feel less alone in this if you dont mind me asking, how do you cope? or try to cope?

My theme is very very similar and my biggest triggers are around sex and not being a super sexual person.

Helpful to read right now.. my partner was talking tonight about how she can always feel in her gut/instinctively when she’s not interested in someone romantically, even if she has a strong platonic bond with them. It terrified/triggered me because I worry that I only have a platonic bond with her and that I’m not actually attracted to her physically. I just feel crazy and guilty because she doesn’t doubt that she’s attracted to me, and so I wonder wtf is wrong with me for doubting it/why can’t I feel the same way without reservations. But it’s also dumb because I know I want to be with them as more than just friends… but knowing that there’s a possibility that we’d be better as just friends, like you said, is really stressing me out.

I feel the same. I’m married for almost 18 yrs and for the last 3 yrs I’m starting to feel repulsed and uncomfortable with him. I get nightmares at night about him to. It’s 24/7 thoughts and it feels horrific. I don’t wish ocd on anyone.