This is driving me nuts I don't know if this is reality or not or the thoughts are real. The thought of being with man disgusts me 😔

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Sorry its wordy but I hope and think it is worth the read. Also, Im sorry to anybody if some of the lines in my text come off as homophobic, it wasnt meant to. Well, Im not sure if this is reassurance or not but whenever these thoughts of being with a man disgust you just try not to be disgusted (I know that sounds like it would make the problem worse but hear me out) just everytime you feel that way just try your best to not be disgusted and just take a deep breath and say "Wow what a cool person" trust me it helps. Its a way of showing your ocd youre not scared of complimenting somebody of the same gender (Most people think complimenting someone of the same gender is gay which is dumb because it isnt) But this will show your ocd that youre in control and that you arent scared of the stereotypes. Youre going to be okay. It took me a few months to get over my HOCD but im all good now. Though sometimes I have compulsions where we a see a Same Gender person I will ask myself "Are they attractive" And most of the times I will get disgusted which is normal but it is also a OCD thing (This isnt meant to come off as homophobic, I swear. But most people arent comfortable with the though of same gender sexual actions more of a psychological thing that im not capable of explaining.) But as I was saying, when my OCD ask me if I find a same gender attractive, I always end up making a disgusted face and saying "Ew no im not gay" But this isnt the right thing to do. What I DO need to do is just take a deep breath, and say "He looks cool but I aint gay" which is still a compulsion but you got to get worst before you can get better. The thoughts go from, Bad to bad to bad to medium to medium to medium to medium, As you can tell I didnt say easy because its IN ALL HONESTY, sadly never going to be easy, im not going to lie to you. Just remember when these thoughts come on, Take a deep breathe, "Thats a cool dude." Remember, Complimenting someone of the same gender is not gay (Not sure if that was reassurance.) It just shows your ocd youre the boss and not scared of the steriotypes that someone is gay.

But this is in my head 24/7. And it feels as tho I'm attracted to guys and want the thoughts feels more than complementing 😔