- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
also we’ve been together for about 2 and a half years and sometimes i feel a weird sensation of not knowing him somehow and that he’s a stranger which is very triggering. i’m scared he’s not the same as when we started dating and that means maybe i love him less because it’s been so long and my brain says “i don’t know him”. i can’t even explain the thought or the sensation because it’s so weird and makes absolutely no sense. this is so hard
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
i don’t want to give you reassurance but i have these same thoughts and feelings. it’s very helpful to know we aren’t alone. advice i will give you is once you start labeling these thoughts and feelings as what they are (ocd) then it begins to get easier. and the thing about not knowing him i literally get the same feeling. it is so hard and rocd sucks so bad but you’re not alone.
- Date posted
- 4y
I am literally in the same exact boat! My bf and I are long distance and ever since he left to go back home after our most recent trip, I've been feeling numb and it's been bothering me because when I get like this, I feel like it's affecting my relationship and makes me believe that I'm losing feelings. These types of things tend to come in phases though, at least for me they do. I just have to remind myself of how I feel when I'm with him and all the things he does for me that made me fall for him in the first place. My bf and I have been dating for almost 10 months and I've definitely created some rough patches with my ROCD and insecurities, but I think if you find the right person to talk to, like I hope your bf is for you, then they can hear you out and help you through whatever you're feeling without getting mad or upset.
- Date posted
- 4y
just want you to be careful, recalling good memories to make the anxiety go away is a mental compulsion :( I do this too
- Date posted
- 4y
@Daria Alexandrovna wait how come?
- Date posted
- 4y
@amberellal Because everything we do to get rid of the anxiety is considered to be a compulsion, as it never truly helps, only gives a short time relief, but new obsessions come and it makes things worse in the long run
- Date posted
- 4y
@Daria Alexandrovna oh okay that makes a lot more sense now. thank you~
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
Lately, I’ve been feeling extremely confused and guilty. My boyfriend has been really busy with exams, and we haven’t talked much this past week. I don’t really feel like I miss him, and that scares me. It makes me think maybe I don’t love him anymore, maybe I’ve changed, and maybe this relationship doesn’t feel right for me anymore. A few days ago, a friend invited me to go to a club with her and another girl. I know that if I went without my boyfriend, he would feel bad — not because he’s controlling, but because in our relationship, we’ve always had mutual boundaries and respect. I decided not to go, but ever since, I’ve been spiraling. My thoughts keep going: “What if I didn’t go just because of him?”, “What if I actually wanted to go, but I stopped myself because I don’t really love him?”, “What if I’m holding myself back and this relationship is limiting me?” All of this makes me think I’m bored, that I don’t like him anymore, or that I’m staying out of habit. It’s hard to tell what I really want or whether these thoughts are part of ROCD or some deeper truth. I keep wondering if I’m just attached to him because he’s my first boyfriend and we’ve been together for so long. Sometimes I even think I wouldn’t care if we broke up, and that I don’t feel anything for him anymore — and that absolutely destroys me, because he’s such a good person who truly loves me. He doesn’t deserve to be treated with so much doubt and coldness. I feel miserable. I don’t know what’s real and what’s just obsession. It hurts that I can’t feel any clarity or peace. I just want to know if this is ROCD or if I’m in denial and refusing to accept the truth
- Date posted
- 20w
I just saw my boyfriend, and even though everything was okay on the outside, inside my mind it was a storm. I kept having thoughts like: “You don’t like him.” “You’re not feeling anything.” “You’re pretending.” “You don’t care.” And then, he said something sweet — something that should’ve made me feel happy: “We should marry.” And instead of warmth, I felt anxiety. A pit in my stomach. A voice in my head saying: “You don’t want that.” “You’ll never stay with him.” “If you really loved him, you’d feel joy.” And I hate it. I hate that I’m in this state. I don’t feel connected. I don’t feel clarity. I don’t even know what I feel anymore. I just feel… numb. And the worst part? It feels like I don’t even care. But I know I do. Somewhere, beneath all the noise and panic and obsessive thoughts, I care. I want to feel close to him. I want to stop second-guessing every word, every touch, every thought. This is ROCD. It makes me question everything. It makes me feel like I’m lying — even when I’m not. It steals the moments that should feel warm and turns them into confusion. If anyone else feels this awful mix of numbness, fear, and guilt — please tell me I’m not alone.
- Date posted
- 17w
hi! I broke a short period of doing well without compulsions because I got triggered again. Before this, I had about two calmer days where I didn’t spiral so much, but now everything feels worse. I’m scared that I don’t love my boyfriend as much as I used to, or that this relationship is making me feel stuck or sad. He’s a wonderful person, and I hate thinking this way. I smelled a perfume that used to make me feel calm and in love, and now it just makes me question everything. I spent hours last night searching Reddit, especially on r/ROCD, trying to see if someone is like me or if anyone has answers. I keep rereading posts, hoping I’ll feel certain about what I should do. But I just feel more confused. I keep thinking, “What if I heal and then realize I don’t love him?” or “What if I’m only staying because I feel safe with him or I’m used to him?” I feel numb sometimes, or like I’m pretending, and I hate it. I want to feel love and clarity again. I don’t know what’s real or what’s ROCD anymore. I just feel lost and afraid. I talk to hi. now and i feel so strange like i dont want to force myself i want to like him i dont understand what i feel i feel so weird in my chest
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