- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
also we’ve been together for about 2 and a half years and sometimes i feel a weird sensation of not knowing him somehow and that he’s a stranger which is very triggering. i’m scared he’s not the same as when we started dating and that means maybe i love him less because it’s been so long and my brain says “i don’t know him”. i can’t even explain the thought or the sensation because it’s so weird and makes absolutely no sense. this is so hard
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
i don’t want to give you reassurance but i have these same thoughts and feelings. it’s very helpful to know we aren’t alone. advice i will give you is once you start labeling these thoughts and feelings as what they are (ocd) then it begins to get easier. and the thing about not knowing him i literally get the same feeling. it is so hard and rocd sucks so bad but you’re not alone.
- Date posted
- 4y
I am literally in the same exact boat! My bf and I are long distance and ever since he left to go back home after our most recent trip, I've been feeling numb and it's been bothering me because when I get like this, I feel like it's affecting my relationship and makes me believe that I'm losing feelings. These types of things tend to come in phases though, at least for me they do. I just have to remind myself of how I feel when I'm with him and all the things he does for me that made me fall for him in the first place. My bf and I have been dating for almost 10 months and I've definitely created some rough patches with my ROCD and insecurities, but I think if you find the right person to talk to, like I hope your bf is for you, then they can hear you out and help you through whatever you're feeling without getting mad or upset.
- Date posted
- 4y
just want you to be careful, recalling good memories to make the anxiety go away is a mental compulsion :( I do this too
- Date posted
- 4y
@Daria Alexandrovna wait how come?
- Date posted
- 4y
@amberellal Because everything we do to get rid of the anxiety is considered to be a compulsion, as it never truly helps, only gives a short time relief, but new obsessions come and it makes things worse in the long run
- Date posted
- 4y
@Daria Alexandrovna oh okay that makes a lot more sense now. thank you~
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
For the past 3 months ish I’ve been struggling on and off with this anxiety and fixation over my relationship. To wondering if i still have feelings for an old friend, wondering if i actually love him, wondering if the thoughts are all real and im just trying to cover it up with ocd. It sucks, when im talking to my boyfriend i feel fine. The words i love you and talks about the future come naturally. I can’t imagine myself with anyone but him. But this constant rumination on my relationship is KILLING me and I’m scared it’s going to ruin what i have. It makes me numb and disconnected which therefore makes me believe the thoughts even more. They just feel so real sometimes and it’s so scary like why can i not just enjoy it. We’ve been together for a while so i know there’s periods of like feelings ebb and flowing but this is so much more. It’s just constantly sitting on my chest with anxiety. My compulsions are coming on this app, looking at photos of us and confessing it to him. He’s very understanding and helpful. I love him so much. I just need help / I’m also just starting new meds as well ..
- Date posted
- 18w
Lately, I’ve been feeling so disconnected from my boyfriend, and I don’t understand why. When I look at him, it feels like I’m looking at a stranger, and my mind keeps telling me that I don’t like him, that I never really loved him, or that I was just attached and comfortable. It feels real, and that terrifies me. I know logically that ROCD makes me overanalyze every little feeling, but it doesn’t make this any easier. I keep waiting to feel something—love, excitement, even relief—but instead, I just feel numb and distant. When we talk, I feel weird. When he kisses me, I don’t feel much. I keep thinking, ‘If I really loved him, wouldn’t I feel something?’ And the fact that I don’t just fuels my anxiety even more. It scares me that I can’t remember how I felt before ROCD took over. I look at old pictures, and my brain tells me, ‘That wasn’t real, you were just excited to have a relationship.’ And because I can’t access those feelings right now, it makes me doubt everything even more. I also feel guilty because my boyfriend is so loving and patient, but I feel like I’m hurting him. He tells me he doesn’t feel loved by me anymore, and I hate that I can’t just snap out of this and be the way I was before. It’s exhausting. I don’t know what’s real anymore. I keep checking how I feel every second, and it just makes me feel worse. I know that’s a compulsion, but it’s so hard to stop. I keep searching for certainty, but no answer satisfies me. Even when I try to accept the uncertainty, my mind screams, ‘But what if you don’t love him? What if you’re just lying to yourself?’ I want to be present with him. I want to feel love naturally again. But I don’t know how to get there, and it’s terrifying.”
- Date posted
- 13w
Lately, I’ve been feeling extremely confused and guilty. My boyfriend has been really busy with exams, and we haven’t talked much this past week. I don’t really feel like I miss him, and that scares me. It makes me think maybe I don’t love him anymore, maybe I’ve changed, and maybe this relationship doesn’t feel right for me anymore. A few days ago, a friend invited me to go to a club with her and another girl. I know that if I went without my boyfriend, he would feel bad — not because he’s controlling, but because in our relationship, we’ve always had mutual boundaries and respect. I decided not to go, but ever since, I’ve been spiraling. My thoughts keep going: “What if I didn’t go just because of him?”, “What if I actually wanted to go, but I stopped myself because I don’t really love him?”, “What if I’m holding myself back and this relationship is limiting me?” All of this makes me think I’m bored, that I don’t like him anymore, or that I’m staying out of habit. It’s hard to tell what I really want or whether these thoughts are part of ROCD or some deeper truth. I keep wondering if I’m just attached to him because he’s my first boyfriend and we’ve been together for so long. Sometimes I even think I wouldn’t care if we broke up, and that I don’t feel anything for him anymore — and that absolutely destroys me, because he’s such a good person who truly loves me. He doesn’t deserve to be treated with so much doubt and coldness. I feel miserable. I don’t know what’s real and what’s just obsession. It hurts that I can’t feel any clarity or peace. I just want to know if this is ROCD or if I’m in denial and refusing to accept the truth
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