- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
also we’ve been together for about 2 and a half years and sometimes i feel a weird sensation of not knowing him somehow and that he’s a stranger which is very triggering. i’m scared he’s not the same as when we started dating and that means maybe i love him less because it’s been so long and my brain says “i don’t know him”. i can’t even explain the thought or the sensation because it’s so weird and makes absolutely no sense. this is so hard
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
i don’t want to give you reassurance but i have these same thoughts and feelings. it’s very helpful to know we aren’t alone. advice i will give you is once you start labeling these thoughts and feelings as what they are (ocd) then it begins to get easier. and the thing about not knowing him i literally get the same feeling. it is so hard and rocd sucks so bad but you’re not alone.
- Date posted
- 4y
I am literally in the same exact boat! My bf and I are long distance and ever since he left to go back home after our most recent trip, I've been feeling numb and it's been bothering me because when I get like this, I feel like it's affecting my relationship and makes me believe that I'm losing feelings. These types of things tend to come in phases though, at least for me they do. I just have to remind myself of how I feel when I'm with him and all the things he does for me that made me fall for him in the first place. My bf and I have been dating for almost 10 months and I've definitely created some rough patches with my ROCD and insecurities, but I think if you find the right person to talk to, like I hope your bf is for you, then they can hear you out and help you through whatever you're feeling without getting mad or upset.
- Date posted
- 4y
just want you to be careful, recalling good memories to make the anxiety go away is a mental compulsion :( I do this too
- Date posted
- 4y
@Daria Alexandrovna wait how come?
- Date posted
- 4y
@amberellal Because everything we do to get rid of the anxiety is considered to be a compulsion, as it never truly helps, only gives a short time relief, but new obsessions come and it makes things worse in the long run
- Date posted
- 4y
@Daria Alexandrovna oh okay that makes a lot more sense now. thank you~
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
I just saw my boyfriend, and even though everything was okay on the outside, inside my mind it was a storm. I kept having thoughts like: “You don’t like him.” “You’re not feeling anything.” “You’re pretending.” “You don’t care.” And then, he said something sweet — something that should’ve made me feel happy: “We should marry.” And instead of warmth, I felt anxiety. A pit in my stomach. A voice in my head saying: “You don’t want that.” “You’ll never stay with him.” “If you really loved him, you’d feel joy.” And I hate it. I hate that I’m in this state. I don’t feel connected. I don’t feel clarity. I don’t even know what I feel anymore. I just feel… numb. And the worst part? It feels like I don’t even care. But I know I do. Somewhere, beneath all the noise and panic and obsessive thoughts, I care. I want to feel close to him. I want to stop second-guessing every word, every touch, every thought. This is ROCD. It makes me question everything. It makes me feel like I’m lying — even when I’m not. It steals the moments that should feel warm and turns them into confusion. If anyone else feels this awful mix of numbness, fear, and guilt — please tell me I’m not alone.
- Date posted
- 22w
hi! I broke a short period of doing well without compulsions because I got triggered again. Before this, I had about two calmer days where I didn’t spiral so much, but now everything feels worse. I’m scared that I don’t love my boyfriend as much as I used to, or that this relationship is making me feel stuck or sad. He’s a wonderful person, and I hate thinking this way. I smelled a perfume that used to make me feel calm and in love, and now it just makes me question everything. I spent hours last night searching Reddit, especially on r/ROCD, trying to see if someone is like me or if anyone has answers. I keep rereading posts, hoping I’ll feel certain about what I should do. But I just feel more confused. I keep thinking, “What if I heal and then realize I don’t love him?” or “What if I’m only staying because I feel safe with him or I’m used to him?” I feel numb sometimes, or like I’m pretending, and I hate it. I want to feel love and clarity again. I don’t know what’s real or what’s ROCD anymore. I just feel lost and afraid. I talk to hi. now and i feel so strange like i dont want to force myself i want to like him i dont understand what i feel i feel so weird in my chest
- Date posted
- 19w
Hi. I wanted to stop posting here, but I can’t hold it in anymore. I’m feeling so lost. I’m in a relationship that, from the outside, looks wonderful. We’ve been together for 2 years. He loves me deeply. He’s kind and caring. And still… I can’t feel anything. I can’t imagine a future with him — living together, starting a family, growing old. When I try, it feels like something in me shuts down, like it’s wrong. I don’t feel happiness in the relationship. I don’t feel love, warmth, or comfort. I feel anxiety, numbness, guilt, and fear. We fight over the smallest things. My thoughts scream that I don’t love him, that I’m forcing this, that I’m just used to him. The scariest part is: sometimes I feel okay, even calm. And that’s when it hits me — “What if this calm means I’ve accepted the truth? What if I don’t love him?” It feels like I’m in shock. Like I’m finally seeing clearly… but I’m terrified that it’s a clarity I never wanted. I don’t know what’s real anymore. I just know that I’m exhausted. And I want peace. If anyone else has felt this — the numbness, the fear, the doubt that feels like the truth — please tell me how you’ve gotten through it. I don’t want to lose him. But I also don’t want to keep living like this. i know that people reading this will tell me to leave. but i dont have any reasons. All the problems started because of my never ending thoughts. i feel like i ruin everything. i feel like i have changed. im so lost and scared. i dont understand what is happening. It feels so real. im in agony, im crying so much. I wasnt always like this. i am trying to remember times i felt better and i cant. i cant feel anything. its so hard. i can’t explain how i feel and in scared what are you going to respond if someone will. i usually see “if you feel so bad then leave” but its not like that. he loves me so much and if the thoughts werent there it would gave been so different. everything was perfect. but i keep thinking that when the thoughts started, one and a half years ago, i realised that “i just dont like him” and gbat i couldn’t accept the truth and i am denying it. i feel fake. do i even have rocd? or is this cope?? why do i feel like this. why does it feel so real? please somebody help me
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