Scared im attracted to woman and dont wanna be so im blaming hocd :(( Im so scared im doing that

But idek who i am anymore. I just know at the end of the day i’ve loved a guy and not a girl, and dont wanna like women. :(

@hate_ocd.123 i feel the same way!! all you need to remember is that you have always loved men. the ocd is what is putting these thoughts into your head causing you to think this way. think of yourself before this. did you feel attracted to women? no. so dont give the intrusive thoughts meaning. thats giving them a reason to stay. expect the thoughts to come again. dont be surprised. let it float in your mind and dont fight it. if the thought is “you are attracted to women” then say “so what”. ocd HATES uncertainty and survives on seeking certainty. you know who you are deep down so dont let it torment you. trust me, ik this seems impossible and it will feel like you are accepting that you are gay but thats not what’s happening. the only way you are going to beat this is by facing your fears and we all fear uncertainty. sorry that was really long i just really want you to know its going to get better

@domilols But it feels like idk if i liked men Ive been struggling w/ this for six years Growing up i was never boy crazy and have only ever been in love with one boy Before that i only saw guys as a romantic partner as a child it was never girls and i get scared thats just because I never saw girls as an option (even though i knew what lgbtq was by the time i was 7) But now it feels like i CANT be attracted to men and ocd has skewered my thoughs & feelings and everything i once felt like i felt for men feels like i feel for women anf im just so confused and scared And even saying im straight gives anixety and so does lesbian i think and idek i just wanna be left alone with these thoughts and not think about kissing and having sex with every person i see regardless of gender :( Espeically girls i just wanna be friends with girls and guys and when i meet a guy u fall in love with it happens naturally:( Im just so scared man whenever i say im straight i feel like im lying and i hate it And when i think about kissing a boy i dont wanna do it (probs also a lack if libido / attraction) and when i think about kissing a girl im scared i wanna do that but i dont And i feel like i would enjiy it but i dont wanna and it makes me so anxious And “deep down” i cant even tell you if im straight or not cause i truly dunno :( Im so scared

@domilols Sorry about it being so long im just so scared….does this sound like ocd or accepting my sexuality?? Im so scared:(

@hate_ocd.123 my suggestion is to stop looking at your past to get answers. doing that will just send you into a spiral of thoughts. i dont want to give you reassurance but ocd is the doubting disease. it makes you doubt all you know and in our cases its a lot harder because sexuality is such a big part of peoples identity. i think you definitely need erp and need to talk to someone about facing your fears. i suggest watching chrissie hodges on youtube. she gives great tips. for me when i am thinking of my sexuality i say that i am exclusively attracted to men and it feels very comfortable saying that. one thing i have learned through this is that its ok to find people attractive. regardless of sex. but your sexuality is based on who you are attracted to. for me i know that i only want to spend my life with a man but its just the ocd voices in my head that are telling me otherwise. this is such a complicated thing but your sexuality dont change in the middle of your life. its a consistent thing since birth. when my hocd first began it was cause of a joke i saw on the internet that made me question if i liked women. it turned into an obsession where i would question every female i saw. i never felt that natural attraction that i did with men with any women. it is just a fear that has taken control of me. ik that i dont want to be with a woman and the only thing that is keeping hocd in my head is the fear that one day i will. so if an intrusive thought pops in your head do what i said before. say “so what”. i promise you it will all be ok.