in need of some advice here! one of my biggest compulsions is checking whether or not i am attracted to everyone i come across. seeing as this is an immediate reaction, how can i use this to my advantage? how can i treat it as an exposure instead of a compulsion?

I already wrote about this and you really helped me, but now I wondered?! During the erp, I look at a picture of that person with some grimaces that the brain sexualizes, otherwise I have incest ocd! The person is of my gender, I'm not gay otherwise. And then, based on those facial expressions, the brain creates sexual images in my head, which I often feel as sexual and mental arousel. It is enough to see the picture or hear the voice of that person! Based on the pictures it gives me the idea of ​​sexually touching myself on it and climaxing while watching. I feel an urge (I tried something like that a few times ago and now I'm afraid of it), and then the exercise is over, but I stay until I get the answer I want and the feelings that would calm me down, but that happens less and less... Have you had any experience, and is it a compulsion? how can I stay after exercise with that feeling of reality.. Thank you in advance❤️

Trigger warning So I can’t stop wondering if I was attracted to this kid I saw a few days ago because I felt something that felt like genuine attraction, it made me worried I was a p, so I tried to leave the place immediately. I also had urges to look to check if I was attracted or not and urges to not to look. All of it made me feel like a genuine P. What is all of this I’m doing, are they compulsions? Or are they pr3detory actions?

Hi so i’ve been trying to figure out how to stop mentally checking. I’m doing better at not ruminating!! I realized that me responding to the thoughts it in any way makes me ruminate even more, so i took someone’s advice and let the thought sit there. i sit in the uncomfortable feelings/anxiety, i let the uncomfortable body sensations sit (groinal), i don’t engage, i don’t distract myself, i don’t avoid it (sometimes i notice discomfort and anxiety towards something and expose myself to it), i continue what im doing, i try to stay in the moment, and my anxiety will slowly go down. When i do those things the intrusive thoughts start to fade which means less anxiety and the compulsion loop and shitty feelings slowly fade as well. Im doing better at not googling for reassurance!! However, i notice that im still struggling with checking/mentally reviewing (my arousal, my emotions, my feelings, my attraction, etc). After years of dealing with OCD it’s made me really numb (NO libido, no attraction, no motivation, just numb). Im trying to get my life back and im living everyday and not letting OCD run my life anymore. I’m scared but im not at the same time, i REFUSE to let it take over again. All these years of suffering have literally prepared me for this😭. After years of pure numbness, ZERO attraction (still struggle w this), and avoiding everything, i developed a crush and im now in a new relationship. This has flared up my ROCD and SOOCD again, but when im with him i notice im able to be in the moment, feel my feelings for him fully (not all the time i mess up), but as soon as i go home or im alone, im already mentally checking and fearing the numbness will take over again. I start to ruminate and worry that OCD will make me lose every bit of progress i made, and i’ll lose feelings for him, ruining our relationship and sending me back to that miserable place i was in. if you read my previous posts you’d know how amazing and freeing it has been to feel these feelings with him. but i’m so worried my constant checking will make me even more numb. Even when im not experiencing any thoughts and not anxious, i still subconsciously check what im feeling and start to feel a numb, plain, knot in my chest if that makes sense? Like it’s a dull feeling? ANYWAYS my question is this, how can i stop mentally checking/ mentally reviewing (attraction,feelings, arousal,emotions, body sensations (groinal)) and how can i fix the numbness?? i’m willing to do anything!! idc if it’s hard i just need someone to give me some tips and ill try my best. also if you live in california, and have met with a therapist on this app pls give some recommendations i want to make a free appointment soon!!