- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
It’s not just like gay thoughts and fantasies it’s bad thoughts about my religion which is Christianity and just anything
- Date posted
- 4y
Just don’t fight it, don’t judge it, even if it tells you to do things and convinces you to do them, don’t do it, also sitting with it and accepting that you can’t know if the thoughts are real or not, is a staple point in recovery, and finally DO NOT JUDGE THEM, DONT THING THAT JUST BECAUSE YOU GOT A THOUGHT OR ANY TYPE OF RESPONSE IT MEANS YOUR GAY, but also understand that you can’t know if you are or are not gay, I will have you in my prayers, Amen to you
- Date posted
- 4y
@dylen Tbh tho i feel like I am not gay, I don’t get attraction to men at all it’s just whenever I see like good looking men It triggers the bad thoughts and I really hate it like genuinely makes so fucking uncomfortable I can’t control it and just keeps getting worse, I get completely different feelings for girls tho and I really want to have a family with a wife and kids it scares me to think I will get with a guy and the thoughts just keep spiraling and getting worse,
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymous It isn’t bad when I’m by myself but when I look at any guy no matter what like 98%’of the time I just have a trigger in my head like “what if u were with him” or what if u kissed him” and I don’t at all I just get those thoughts and it makes me feel even worse about myself because I have morals and I want to never change or experiment it’s just nasty IMO, like I don’t judge but I just don’t want to be gay ever or bi, I rlly look at girls differently but when these thoughts come in my head I doubt myself
- Date posted
- 4y
@dylen I pray whenever these thoughts come into play, I feel weird having the thoughts and I try to shake it off, it’s not like I look at every guy and say this it’s just certain times it happens and gets bad like at work idk why, I rlly hope they can go away cuz I want to have a beautiful sexy wife and live An amazing life with her and have kids,
- Date posted
- 4y
Hey, I hope you're doing better now. Since you mentioned these thoughts have been troubling you for quite some time, & that they have been causing stress for you, I would suggest starting with something simple. Something as simple as noticing when these thoughts show up & being aware for a moment. Maybe you can even tell yourself, “I am having this thought again, I'm acknowledging it but I won't give it my full attention”. Something you may be doing that could lead to more distress is: giving your thoughts your full attention. Try working on NOT over-analyzing your thoughts.
- Date posted
- 4y
Over analyzing may sound like- “what if ___?”, “what if this thought is true?”, “Why am I having this thought?” We want to stay away from these questions as much as possible so we don't strengthen the anxiety behind these thoughts. Try your best not to fight with the thought and denying it because in the long run it will only strengthen OCD. Instead maybe try telling yourself “i don't know if this is true” “so what if this is true”, “ I don't care about this thought it does not matter to me”. I wrote a lot lol I hope this helped in some way let me know! 💙
- Date posted
- 4y
It’s just when I ask myself “what if” the thoughts don’t go away it gets worse and worse like what if I kissed a man, or what if I was dating a guy like that, and it makes me sweat and genuinely makes me so uncomfortable I never ever want to be gay tbh, I have nothing against it but I just don’t ever want to be I really want to have a great family and wife and kids it feels wrong to me and makes me just wanna leave this earth when ever I get the thoughts it sucks and I really want it to stop
- Date posted
- 4y
^
- Date posted
- 4y
Hey! Instead of saying what if, try using the ones I mentioned earlier, like “so what” “I don't know if that's true” etc. Exposure is supposed to make you feel anxious and uncomfortable, so don't be afraid to feel stressed when using “so what's”. The anxiety will eventually lessen as you expose yourself to this fear. It is uncomfortable at first but the best solution long term. Remember, that these thoughts are OCD sabotaging you, don't fight them 💙 I hope you feel better everything is going to get better
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank u I’m trying my best and I appreciate it
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymous 💙 anytime
Related posts
- Date posted
- 18w
i had recently been triggered to have so-ocd. its been on my mind non-stop. (i am a heterosexual female) and my mind has been all over the place questioning if i have been in denial the entire time. ive always had people tell me they sort of got that vibe it it never really affected me until my own mother had her suspicions. so i would constantly get triggered un public around the same gender, while knowing my true sexuality. ive always been attracted to men but as of recently ive been having super bad anxiety to where i cannot eat or sleep and feel weak all the time. it was like that for a week or so. now im in the calm where i have been trying accept the uncertainty but it still isnt fair as im getting triggered. im a little worried because it feels like i have been lying to my parents the entire time although ive never had the desire to be with the same gender. and i keep getting intrusive thoguhts that make me feel anxious and uncomfortable. its all starting to affect my friendships as im constantly getting triggered with the intrusive thoguhts. i feel a little less anxious compared to how i was a couple days ago. im really scared on why im having these thoughts now when i have been having romantic feelings for a guy the past year or so. ive also been struggling with false attraction and loss attraction to men. it makes me feel uncertain of my life the entire time
- Date posted
- 18w
I’ve recovered from HOCD before and got my attraction and my usual actual identity back. I was recovered from end 2022- start 2025 until I got triggered UGHHH😭 My HOCD is REALLY trying to convince me and it’s SO annoying cause I genuinely don’t want these thoughts. I know I naturally like men and always have done so. I can’t wait for my first therapy session in two days Omg! I need your advice, not necessarily reassurance, but more advice? My HOCD is throwing random “proof” I did/ saw as a child in my face, which back then had no meaning in my life and I continued to live a perfectly heterosexual life. I’ve educated myself about arousal non concordance / child’s play, but it still doesn’t remove the HOCD. I’ve read therapists great explanations on how it’s not a sexuality issue, BUT ITS AN OCD BRAIN ISSUE. So basically I’ve been straight and i will die as straight. But my ocd is still continuing with the intrusive thoughts/flashbacks. I’ve had some moments where I haven’t done as many compulsions and had less anxiety but still had those damn thoughts and I DO NOT want those damn thoughts. I have so much proof and factual/logical explanations but HOCD is still continuing to thrive. I absolutely hate this and I feel so alone. I wish there was a reset button cause I don’t want these thoughts to happen. I want a man and I stand by that. How do y’all deal with these situations? Cause sitting with the thoughts is clearly not helping.
- Students with OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- Sexual Orientation OCD
- Older adults with OCD
- Date posted
- 12w
Hey everyone, I’m reaching out because I’ve been going through one of the hardest mental spirals of my life, and I’m hoping someone can relate or shed light on what’s happening to me. About 4 months ago, I accidentally came across a trans porn scene. It didn’t do much at the time, but later it triggered this overwhelming intrusive thought: “What if I’m gay?” Since then, it’s been absolute hell. I’ve always been into women—emotionally, sexually, everything. I’ve been in a long-term relationship with a girl I love deeply. But after that moment, my brain started spiraling into nonstop analysis. I began checking how I felt around men, whether I felt attraction, whether I was in denial, whether I was lying to myself. Literally everything became a test. I got stuck in this loop: • A thought pops in → panic • Try to solve it → brief relief • Another thought → worse panic • Repeat. At times, it got so bad I couldn’t feel anything at all—toward my girlfriend, toward women, toward myself. I started doubting everything. Some days, I feel emotionally flat, like I’ve lost my personality. Other days, I wake up with a full-body jolt of “truth” like “I’m definitely gay”—only for it to fade into numbness again. I’ve also noticed that I get short bursts of peace when I stop reacting, but then the fear comes back louder, like “See? Now you’re accepting it. That means it’s true.” Therapy hasn’t helped much so far—it felt more like general counseling. They told me to sit with the thoughts, but didn’t clarify if this was OCD, identity questioning, or trauma. That just made it worse because now I’m back to thinking “What if I’m just rejecting my truth?” I’m exhausted. I’ve lost connection to everything I used to love. • I want to love my girl again the way I used to • I want to feel desire without overthinking • I want to trust myself again I’m not looking for reassurance—I just want to know if anyone else has gone through something like this, and if this sounds like HOCD or identity OCD. Thanks for reading.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond