Do you guys ever feel like you're doing well and you're intrusive thoughts starts to settle down and all of a sudden it comes back. I dont feel well mentally. In the beginning, I had a OCD flare up because of a nightmare I had a few days ago and now I just feel depressed. I'm a content creator and I'm just really afraid that no one will like my work. I feel like a nobody and I feel like I won't be successful because of my intrusive thoughts or the way I look like (i also suffer from body dysmorphia). I just feel like I shouldn't be on this earth.

I used to post my art online a lot, and I was so proud of it. But the last year or so, my OCD has been making me feel like I don't deserve to post because "no one would support me if they knew how flawed of a person I am." Today, I got a message from a stranger saying they missed seeing my art and wished I would start posting again. It was soo damn nice, and I wanted to be happy about it, but my fears immediately hit me hard. Would this person still want to follow or support me if they knew everything about me? Of course, my therapist pointed out that there are sooo many people out there who post constantly and have no problem asking their supporters to help them, and surely they're also flawed people, but they don't let it hold them back. I know I'm only human... but I've seen so many people gain success, only to get knocked down, and it terrifies me. This is probably my biggest internal struggle. Sometimes, I want to give up art completely, but the little kid in me who dreamed of being an artist is saying, "Why are you giving up on us?" I feel kinda weird posting about this, but I hope you guys get where I'm coming from. If anyone has any insights or thoughts on this topic, I'd reeeeally appreciate them.

Anyone else really wanna pursue their dreams, but imposter syndrome and OCD thinking holds them back? For me, it’s my art. I’ve had some success with my art, and it’s been really exciting, but then I think of all the things I regret and the mistakes I made, and I’m terrified, so I recoil. I never feel like I deserve it. All those artists who’ve been praised for their art by the masses, I imagine them as being perfect. I know it’s not true, but I mean, how can you put yourself out there these days and not know you have no skeletons in the closet?? I see people making reels and they’re so confident and carefree, and I think, “I bet they’ve never made any really big mistakes, or else they’d be terrified of having themselves out there.” I’m probably projecting. Maybe they’re just as terrified deep down. Maybe that’s what drives them. Maybe that’s what makes their art so touching. All I really wanna do is impact other people with my art. Maybe there’s a selfish part of me that relies on the praise, and that’s the part I need to let go of. Whether I get praise or not, my art should just be something I’m proud of. If I can help someone with my art, that would be amazing. Like you guys. I feel like this community is my demographic, and even if the rest of the world turned away from me, the ones who’ve been in my shoes are the ones I should write for. Anyway, this is a huge issue for me and my OCD. If anyone has any words of wisdom, I would really love to hear them, because I feel pretty stuck.

I am (or was)! Yesterday, I started to get really anxious for unknown reasons, and then (just my luck) I got triggered by something online 😭 It's always so... humbling. I'm trying to sit with the intrusive thoughts at this moment, but I'm just feeling really icky and a bit down. With OCD, it's bound to happen at some point, I guess. Even without OCD, you're going to have good and bad days. It's just how life is 🥲 I'm just afraid of being slingshot back to how I felt a few months ago, which I know realistically WON'T happen, but my brain doesn't want me to think logically lol. I'm also afraid that the repetitive nature of OCD intrusive thoughts will somehow alter who I am as a person, making my fears a reality? It's weird. Classic OCD, but it still makes me anxious! I have been doing better not engaging with these thoughts, but occasionally, I'll accidentally argue back. It doesn't help because then my brain says, "You're just in denial, and you're actually a bad person!" And whenever I say anything in opposition of something against my morals, it feels performative or fake for some reason 🫠 I'm just venting at this point, I'm sorry! Anyway, if anyone reads this, I hope you're doing okay, and if not, I hope things look up soon. Take care of yourselves, stay hydrated, and rest well!