Do you guys ever feel like you're doing well and you're intrusive thoughts starts to settle down and all of a sudden it comes back. I dont feel well mentally. In the beginning, I had a OCD flare up because of a nightmare I had a few days ago and now I just feel depressed. I'm a content creator and I'm just really afraid that no one will like my work. I feel like a nobody and I feel like I won't be successful because of my intrusive thoughts or the way I look like (i also suffer from body dysmorphia). I just feel like I shouldn't be on this earth.

Ocd is like this bully that leaves you alone for a while and then come's back worse every time. This morning I just switched my tv on and for some reason I had this thought pop into my head that what if someone on the tv told me to harm someone... what if the ground is lava, man... I was doing so well last few weeks... then this. Worst thing is I feel alone in having these weird thoughts... feels like everyone's thoughts are normal or can atleast happen in reality while mine is totally out there... and I just started getting motivated again to enter modelling, now I'm scared AF is I can even do it with my mind always doing this shit.

Sometimes I worry that I don’t have ocd and that I’m losing my mind and that I’ll never feel better again. I was starting to feel really good last night and I thought it was finally over so I went ahead and did a lot of the stuff I enjoyed doing before this happened (the reason I had to stop was because certain things were triggering in either one way or another) but eventually I hit a point where I just could not bring myself to do something because it was causing too much anxiety. I got this horrible image last night in a dream and then I began to get a flurry of bothersome thoughts, so now I have 2 obsessions to worry about now. The first one is kind of in control but I’m just afraid what’s going to happen to my brain and I’m worried about having an episode in front of my family, who I’m supposed to be having a small dinner with today. I don’t want to tell them what’s going on but I’m afraid they’ll notice that I’m not well. I’m never present because I’m always in my head analyzing and ruminating and worrying. The feeling last night gave me hope that I could be myself again but I just worry that these thoughts will always linger and make me lose my mind. :(

Everyday I feel extremely down and I don’t know how to snap out of it. Intrusive thoughts are always playing in my head and won’t stop. I’ve been feeling down for the longest time to the point where it doesn’t feel right to be happy or do anything positive for myself. It’s as if I want to be miserable and don’t want anything good to happen to me. I don’t deserve it and I don’t think I can truly overcome this. I get eaten up everyday and lil by lil, a piece of myself slips away to the point where I don’t recognize myself anymore or care for myself. I don’t want to feel like this anymore😔I feel so detached from reality.