- Username
- MandyM
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Hey I feel what you are going through and OCD can really make us feel like pieces of shit. But that’s when we just attack the OCD back with “yeah you are right I suck” and other things that go to extremes. I am struggling with that currently but I think it might help. but also just do what you love to do and don’t let the inner critic get to you if possible. I have been wanting to play the piano and guitar again for a long long time but the voice in my head always says I’m not as good as other people among other negative things, but I love it so I’m not going to listen to it.
I always feel like this especially at work my mental health isn’t good and I’m rlly depressed rn but I gotta power thru and tell myself that the thoughts are wack and not true I know my morals but honesty the thoughts rlly do some real, you just have to think positive and tell them to fuck off I hate it so fucking much and it drives me damn near crazy but deep down I know what I wanna do in life, have a wife kids and just be very successful, obviously my mind isn’t thinking the same but that’s my brain just testing myself same as u buddy hope u get better I’m praying for ya
All the time I can feel fine then all of a sudden boom intrusive thought. It’s just how u react to it, try keep calm and u will Be ok
It’s bad for me too
Ocd is like this bully that leaves you alone for a while and then come's back worse every time. This morning I just switched my tv on and for some reason I had this thought pop into my head that what if someone on the tv told me to harm someone... what if the ground is lava, man... I was doing so well last few weeks... then this. Worst thing is I feel alone in having these weird thoughts... feels like everyone's thoughts are normal or can atleast happen in reality while mine is totally out there... and I just started getting motivated again to enter modelling, now I'm scared AF is I can even do it with my mind always doing this shit.
Sometimes I worry that I don’t have ocd and that I’m losing my mind and that I’ll never feel better again. I was starting to feel really good last night and I thought it was finally over so I went ahead and did a lot of the stuff I enjoyed doing before this happened (the reason I had to stop was because certain things were triggering in either one way or another) but eventually I hit a point where I just could not bring myself to do something because it was causing too much anxiety. I got this horrible image last night in a dream and then I began to get a flurry of bothersome thoughts, so now I have 2 obsessions to worry about now. The first one is kind of in control but I’m just afraid what’s going to happen to my brain and I’m worried about having an episode in front of my family, who I’m supposed to be having a small dinner with today. I don’t want to tell them what’s going on but I’m afraid they’ll notice that I’m not well. I’m never present because I’m always in my head analyzing and ruminating and worrying. The feeling last night gave me hope that I could be myself again but I just worry that these thoughts will always linger and make me lose my mind. :(
So I’m going to college soon and every time I think about it, I feel like the odd one out because of my intrusive thoughts. Like I literally feel like an “intruder” going to school because of how my thoughts make me feel. This is also every time I talk to my friends, my brain is like “your friends are talking to a future criminal”. I just feel like I don’t deserve to be there and have good memories and like my thoughts are inevitable. I feel like a completely different person from who I was before June. Of course I have had these thoughts throughout my life, but nothing that stuck longer than a week or two. It’s so weird how one day your perfectly happy and the other you feel like a completely different person. Furthermore, while these thoughts don’t make me happy and provide anxiety, those feelings feel so forced sometimes. Also I’m sure a lot of us do this, but when I think of the thought and want to feel disgust (as one does), it feels like I’m forcing that feeling. During the beginning of June I was nauseated by these thoughts and crying most days, now they just feel annoying more than anything because there’s nothing I can really do to provide relief. I constantly am questioning whether this is me or not and at this point I don’t even know. I feel like the thoughts have gradually went from making me want to vomit to questioning whether I would actually do it. Anyone else?
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