If we break up will I feel relief? I can't live like this

I'm in the USA. yes doctors don't care much or don't want us to be healthy because of population control. we'll its bigger boss in charge of the doctors and hospital actually. but yes I have been to hundreds of doctors and the only ones that actually care are some of the naturopathic doctors also called functional doctors. they look for the root cause and steer away from the band aid type of meds like antidepressants and anything else you can think of. every single mental illness has a medical explanation or deficiency usually underneath it all.

It's not toxic at all! He's a wonderful.person and when I'm not in this place I adore him. I feel sick at this whole situation and I detest this illness. Why the f do people fall in love if its not meant to last

@mollyyy have you had your vitmain and minerals checked? vitamin d especially. I've lost almost every nutrient in my body some at the same time and some at other times to know the type of depression and anxiety is different with all of them. vitamin d deficiency was the worst for depression. magnesium deficiency was the worst for bipolar, impulsive, mood swings etc. hope it helps to have your doctor check vitamin d (optimal is 60-80) and magnesium rbc test not serum. those are good starting point..I've also heard omega 3 fatty acids are extremely helpful for ocd but I haven't yet tried it.

@mollyyy love does last. I'm married and it has its ups and downs but it's when both sides make the effort..not choosing the self destruct button and continue to make hard choices.

@Lindsey3 Thsnk you so much. It just feels easier to be alone and allow him to be happy without someone like me. If you don't mind me asking have you gone through phases of losing feeling for your SO during times of depression etc? X

@mollyyy absolutely I did because my health was suffering. I was low in a lot of things I didn't realize. until I got them fixed then I didn't feel like just a shell of death and like I wasn't even alive. I've been with my partner for almost 6 years. at the end of the day love is unconditional. if we want to be unconditionally loved we should give it as well. I've definitely pushed my husband away though and made him resent me because he doesn't understand BUT he is starting to understand. My husband said he doesn't want anyone else and wants to make it work. If you have a man like that, that is great. Emotions change very quickly with nutrient deficiencies. I know and I know it gets better

@mollyyy it's very easy to self sabatoge. we have to be careful not to push people away.

@Lindsey3 Thank you so much for your help. X

@mollyyy no problem

@Lindsey3 I have gone through a few phases like this in our relationship, I'm just scared that it means something about the relationship.

@mollyyy it really depends on what's happening. I've been confused and try to push away and it's a self destructive gaslight type of thing. We seek validation too much with OCD. that's why it's so important to learn to live without the validation and to do things for ourselves rather than seek it from others.

@Lindsey3 Thank you. Also re vitamins, do you take separate ones or just a multivitamin? X

@mollyyy separate. I dont trust multivitamins to get the job done. I take b12 separate, vitmain d, magnesium glycinate for the rest of my life every day. the rest I get through diet and if I'm lacking somewhere I get levels retested like vitamin A or vitamin E. I'm 26 and my vitamin A levels were low, and you'd just be surprised what you could be low in..so highly recommend getting health matters fixed before making any rash decisions