I’ve been doing pretty well for the last few years. I saw a great therapist and am still currently taking sertraline. A few days ago I had some colleagues over for a few drinks, we had a brilliant day but then I woke up the next day absolutely panicking that I’d made a fool of myself because I’d been a little bit drunk (we all were!) I tried to sit with the anxiety but I absolutely caved, spent ALL day googling and reading articles about anxiety after drinking, and texting my friends to make sure I wasn’t an idiot. As well as excessively reassurance seeking from my husband to make sure I wasn’t a bad person. I’m so mad at myself for taking a step back :( I have a constant feeling that if everything isn’t tidy/sorted at home or my to do list isn’t ticked off completely or I don’t fully have every single thing in my life sorted, that I cannot and should not rest. Everything has to be perfect and it is EXHAUSTING.

It is SO hard to sit and accept it, isn’t it! The utter panic and urgency to get answers completely takes over. Feeling right back at square one today!

@cupcake55 That’s my feeling too and I never sleep well after a night of drinking so I wake up feeling adrenaline running and it’s just the worst. Up right now waiting for my friends and boyfriend to wake up so I can get some reassurance. maybe I should go for a walk? Already tried an ice cold shower

@cupcake55 I’m sorry you’re feeling back to square one, what’s your plan to try to feel more yourself today?

@Nyc0011 Don’t forget the reassurance will help you for all of 10 minutes and you’ll just want more….reassurance is a cruel mistress! 😂

@cupcake55 A cruel mistress 😂 thanks for making it lighthearted. Sorry to pivot the conversation towards myself. Rereading your post, I will say progress is never linear so even if you feel you took a step back, you’ll never start from zero again since you have the knowledge. What are things that you enjoy doing or that you find help with the perfectionism ?

@Nyc0011 That’s ok, we are all in this together! I know, and that’s exactly what I would say to someone else. I’m so bad at taking my own advice. I’m not sure, it’s hard when it comes to feeling disorganised at home because my answer would be to have a little tidy up…but I guess that would also become a compulsion too. :(

@cupcake55 I feel like we’re very similar. I tidy up too as a way to keep my mind busy. It’s a sense of controlling my environment so yes can definitely become compulsive. do you enjoy reading? I have a ton of great book recommendations that can get you outside your head a little bit!

@Nyc0011 I find that I struggle when things are out of my control. It can be so hard to know if you’re just performing a basic task or if it’s becoming a compulsion. I love reading! I’m going away next weekend and I was just thinking yesterday that I need some new books to devour 🥰