I am literally so worried and overwhelmed right now. I have no idea what the hell is going on with me. I woke up from a nap today and I had a terrible thought. The worst is that I felt like I was considering it. I thought of doing something terrible to my mom and my sister. And I think I CONSIDERED IT. What the actual freak!! 😭 I feel like I am a psychopath. That’s it. I feel like I’m a freaking psychopath and like I want to do all these things but I’m trying so so so so hard not to do it or for it not to happen. I am so freaked out because I feel like I will end up doing it sooner or later, at some point of my life. I don’t know how to escape it, I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’ll get home and do all what my thoughts say. I feel like this evil side will take over me. I feel evil. And I don’t know how to escape it. I hate it, I flew all through the country to come to see my sister and I was so excited to see her, and now this horrible thing has ruined everything. I am terrified. Help, please.

I dont know whats going on. I dont know if its OCD anymore. I know it was in the beginning. Ive been through a lot of trauma and had one little scary thought of killing my sister 4 months ago that has blossomed into this giant idea of me being a serial killer and wanting to hurt everyone (I never had any social issues growing up but I have had some trauma). Recently I’ve been having urges to just give in. And my mental images have been horrible and I can’t stop checking if I like them or not. I think I’ve convinced myself I have. This morning I woke up a shaking mess with an urge to unalive my family and when my mom left for work I was alone with my sister and couldnt stop vomiting uncontrollably. I dont know if i’m upset because I cant hurt anyone and I want to, or if I’m scared and just want my old life back. I was an avid horror and gore lover and now I’m convinced I want to do the things I’ve seen in the movies. Someone please help. I’m ready to check into the psych ward.

17f That's it I'm a monster. Before yesterday I had classic textbook POCD. Avoided children like crazy, was scared to even look at them. But something randomly clicked in my head and I became a monster. I suddenly became numb to s*xual thoughts about children. No anxiety, no remorse, no "this is wrong" or "this is weird" feeling. Nothing. Just weird curiosity. I was able to imagine SAing a child. Even made a hypothetical plan on how I would do it. And still. No remorse. No nothing. Now it's the next day and I'm freaking out. I still feel kinda numb to the images and the morality itself but at the same time it scared me how OKAY I was with the thoughts even made a PLAN.

Hi guys! Kind of panicking right now. My mind has gotten so dark and my thoughts have gotten evil and terrifying I’m so scared. And I feel Like I’m at the point where I’m convincing myself they’re real. Like I’m terrified of acting on it or that I’m choosing these thoughts. I’ll tell you guys what thoughts they are. These horrible terrifying awful thoughts of not wanting others saved. Like thoughts like I don’t want others to know Jesus. Especially this one specific thought about this girl. It’s TERRIFYING because this one specific thought that is in my mind all the time is attached to real feelings I have for this guy. And this girl is a Christian and she’s so pretty and I started having thoughts that I don’t want her saved or to know Jesus so that this guy who is a really strong believer that I like won’t like her. PLEASE I NEED TO KNOW THIS ISNT ME YOU GUYS. I just need to know this thought IS NOT ME. And then it gets so bad to where I wake up in the morning and it feels like I’m accepting these thoughts. Like I want these thoughts. Or like I’m choosing them. I’m so deeply terrified I don’t know what to do. I just need to know they’re not me, that my heart is aligned with Gods heart. That I want EVERYONE SAVED