- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Hi, im 30, married for three years and have a lovely daughter. Like you, the thoughts came in waves. Once weak, then stronger and stronger. I felt like giving up at some point last year, and finally i couldnt take it and told my wife. I expected rejection, disgust, and repulsion; but what i got was understanding. She promises me that we would get through it no matter what. It was really helpful to be able to share it with my partner.
- Date posted
- 6y
Sooo much better. We have hit a sweet spot in our marriage where we both now have names for our neuroatypicalities — my OCD and ADHD, and his Asperger’s. We can talk freely about it and all things. I never knew marriage could be so sweet. But it took a lot of rocky times to get here. And ultimately my ROCD had some truth to it — I was really bothered by things that we only recently found out were Asperger’s — but my carastrophizing (and nearly leaving on multiple occasions) was the OCD at play. So says my therapist. :)
- Date posted
- 6y
Well, for starters, understanding that HOCD compresses these emotions in multiple ways helps. I'm not an expert, but one thing that may help is talking to others you may not know very well. HOCD makes you question a lot of things, but remember what you felt before HOCD. If that's what you felt before, try and understand HOCD makes you feel different ways, and push through it! Remember your strong, your loved, and that you always have people around you who care for you
- Date posted
- 6y
Did the relationship break off because of ROCD? My marriage almost never made it to marriage because of ROCD but then by a stroke of divine grace I found Sheryl Paul’s work at Conscious Transitions. She says seriously half her clients experiencing relationship anxiety identify as having ROCD. She also writes about HOCD and other anxieties. My lifeline!!
- Date posted
- 6y
I'm not sure haha. I feel like I didn't even experience the relationship with constant doubt. I'll check out that though - thank you!!! And I'm happy to hear that you made it through. How is everything now?
- Date posted
- 6y
That's amazing. Congrats ?
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you! The journey is always a work in progress but having names and diagnoses and support is so helpful for us both. I went through 100% doubt about the relationship and like you said could barely enjoy it bc of the doubt. So it’s good to be in a different place now and usually now have what Sheryl Paul and my therapist call “clear eyes not fear eyes.” Sending prayers and support your way!
- Date posted
- 6y
THANK YOUUUUU
- Date posted
- 6y
Wow. Thanks for sharing and that's amazing. Congrats on such a great life partner from the sounds of it!
- Date posted
- 6y
*catastrophizing
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
I keep having this weird feeling none stop that it’s most likely not HOCD and most my feelings. Like I’ve suffered none stop distress and unwanted thoughts the past few days. But those thoughts after a bit just feel weird not the kind of discomfort but are just their and stale. When I look at a guy I don’t feel anything but my thoughts sometimes compliment his looks or personality which makes me doubt my sexuality. I’ve never felt this weirded out. Because I’ve always been straight and still believe I am but I’ve never even had an emotional connection to someone of the opposite gender in fact. My view of the female body has been ruined with none stop pornography addictions. I don’t believe I’m gay but I feel like it may just be denial instead of HOCD but all my symptoms are literally HOCD. I don’t hate the idea of gay people but I can’t imagine or see my heart going off to like someone of the same sex. I haven’t really had any meaningful real life friends besides online but that also ended a few months ago. My only friend ever online that was my friend for the longest of time was a queer but I never really cared about what he liked. Like yes at some point I did try to challenge him with his own feelings but that didn’t last long I just accepted what he liked and moved on. I’ve never even touched let alone held a long conversation with a female. I’ve always been timid and shy around them but I can just say that towards male as well. The gay feelings feel so real. The thoughts feel a bit natural to me but I don’t want this. But I hate how I can’t just move on and be myself and love women when those thoughts demand attention and an answer. It won’t quit it. If I try to do a compulsion it calms down but it quickly becomes a problem again. I’m lonely I don’t have any friends or past relationships I can even think of helping me with the emotions. I still believe I’m straight and I just can’t see myself with a guy. It just doesn’t feel right for me despite my lack of experiences. I just wanna go back to how I was happy and loving girls and not having to question if it was a real feeling or just my natural timid nature. Everytime I think these distressing thoughts I always just wanna sit down and close my eyes and sleep. Because that’s where I can have peace of self. It sucks but I’m so exhausted of having to deal with emotional distress and I can’t even focus on my job as much. I want to meet new people discover my love for women again but I’m scared in the process I may discover I may be gay. Because deep down I know I wouldn’t ever be happy with myself if my greatest fears where confirmed. My dream of always being a father with a loving women and kids would be torn away by something I never asked for. Yes I’m religious, yes I come from a place that homosexuals are usually seen in a bad light. I just hate feeling this emotion that I may not be what I thought and having my dreams torn apart maybe true. I’ve read MUTIPLE articles about HOCD and seen MUTIPLE videos. I’ve come to the realization that I most likely have it. But it’s still hard when the feelings of maybe being gay maybe true you know? I hope I get better I hope I don’t suffer. I just wanna be happy with myself and loving females and I don’t wanna hate myself for feeling an emotion that never occurred to me more then a few times.
- Date posted
- 20w
Hi all, I deal with HOCD and been seeing a therapist for about 3.5 months. It has definitely got better but still affects me very much. Was wondering there is anyone out there who has dealt with HOCD as well and has recovered. I would love to message or even chat just see how your experience was and hear what was beneficial to you.
- Date posted
- 18w
I don’t know what to do anymore, this started nearly a year ago and caused so much stress and panic attacks over the thought of loosing my boyfriend. Now it just feels real and that he always liked girls and suppressed it (but like the boys i always liked in the past were real feelings they had to be and with my boyfriend i love him) but i haven’t got much anxiety now feels like i want the thoughts and that they don’t bother me even tho they used to, this seems to happen every time i get a lil better, idk just feels so true and that’s what i acc want with no stress, just a lil scared.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond