I'd love to hear other people's issue or experience with HOCD and any successful, healthy relationships? A thing that sometimes gets to me is that I loved men for the longest time and used to have all these crushes. Recently it feels like I don't have any feeling and no excitement. My boyfriend and I just broke up and it was because I was doubting it too much. HOCD never came up until the end.

Hi, im 30, married for three years and have a lovely daughter. Like you, the thoughts came in waves. Once weak, then stronger and stronger. I felt like giving up at some point last year, and finally i couldnt take it and told my wife. I expected rejection, disgust, and repulsion; but what i got was understanding. She promises me that we would get through it no matter what. It was really helpful to be able to share it with my partner.

Sooo much better. We have hit a sweet spot in our marriage where we both now have names for our neuroatypicalities — my OCD and ADHD, and his Asperger’s. We can talk freely about it and all things. I never knew marriage could be so sweet. But it took a lot of rocky times to get here. And ultimately my ROCD had some truth to it — I was really bothered by things that we only recently found out were Asperger’s — but my carastrophizing (and nearly leaving on multiple occasions) was the OCD at play. So says my therapist. :)

Well, for starters, understanding that HOCD compresses these emotions in multiple ways helps. I'm not an expert, but one thing that may help is talking to others you may not know very well. HOCD makes you question a lot of things, but remember what you felt before HOCD. If that's what you felt before, try and understand HOCD makes you feel different ways, and push through it! Remember your strong, your loved, and that you always have people around you who care for you

Did the relationship break off because of ROCD? My marriage almost never made it to marriage because of ROCD but then by a stroke of divine grace I found Sheryl Paul’s work at Conscious Transitions. She says seriously half her clients experiencing relationship anxiety identify as having ROCD. She also writes about HOCD and other anxieties. My lifeline!!

I'm not sure haha. I feel like I didn't even experience the relationship with constant doubt. I'll check out that though - thank you!!! And I'm happy to hear that you made it through. How is everything now?

That's amazing. Congrats ?

Thank you! The journey is always a work in progress but having names and diagnoses and support is so helpful for us both. I went through 100% doubt about the relationship and like you said could barely enjoy it bc of the doubt. So it’s good to be in a different place now and usually now have what Sheryl Paul and my therapist call “clear eyes not fear eyes.” Sending prayers and support your way!

THANK YOUUUUU

Wow. Thanks for sharing and that's amazing. Congrats on such a great life partner from the sounds of it!

*catastrophizing