waterlady
- Date posted
- 6y
newdad211newdad211
- Date posted
- 6y
Hi, im 30, married for three years and have a lovely daughter. Like you, the thoughts came in waves. Once weak, then stronger and stronger. I felt like giving up at some point last year, and finally i couldnt take it and told my wife. I expected rejection, disgust, and repulsion; but what i got was understanding. She promises me that we would get through it no matter what. It was really helpful to be able to share it with my partner.
KaltaKalta
- Date posted
- 6y
Sooo much better. We have hit a sweet spot in our marriage where we both now have names for our neuroatypicalities — my OCD and ADHD, and his Asperger’s. We can talk freely about it and all things. I never knew marriage could be so sweet. But it took a lot of rocky times to get here. And ultimately my ROCD had some truth to it — I was really bothered by things that we only recently found out were Asperger’s — but my carastrophizing (and nearly leaving on multiple occasions) was the OCD at play. So says my therapist. :)
jespencercrowjespencercrow
- Date posted
- 6y
Well, for starters, understanding that HOCD compresses these emotions in multiple ways helps. I'm not an expert, but one thing that may help is talking to others you may not know very well. HOCD makes you question a lot of things, but remember what you felt before HOCD. If that's what you felt before, try and understand HOCD makes you feel different ways, and push through it! Remember your strong, your loved, and that you always have people around you who care for you
KaltaKalta
- Date posted
- 6y
Did the relationship break off because of ROCD? My marriage almost never made it to marriage because of ROCD but then by a stroke of divine grace I found Sheryl Paul’s work at Conscious Transitions. She says seriously half her clients experiencing relationship anxiety identify as having ROCD. She also writes about HOCD and other anxieties. My lifeline!!
waterladywaterlady
- Date posted
- 6y
I'm not sure haha. I feel like I didn't even experience the relationship with constant doubt. I'll check out that though - thank you!!! And I'm happy to hear that you made it through. How is everything now?
waterladywaterlady
- Date posted
- 6y
That's amazing. Congrats ?
KaltaKalta
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you! The journey is always a work in progress but having names and diagnoses and support is so helpful for us both. I went through 100% doubt about the relationship and like you said could barely enjoy it bc of the doubt. So it’s good to be in a different place now and usually now have what Sheryl Paul and my therapist call “clear eyes not fear eyes.” Sending prayers and support your way!
waterladywaterlady
- Date posted
- 6y
THANK YOUUUUU
waterladywaterlady
- Date posted
- 6y
Wow. Thanks for sharing and that's amazing. Congrats on such a great life partner from the sounds of it!
KaltaKalta
- Date posted
- 6y
*catastrophizing
Related posts
Mt2019
- Date posted
- 20w
Question about HOCD
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
yaya_zz
- Date posted
- 7w
Sexual ocd
Hey guys so I have been suffering with sexual ocd due to the fact that I don’t feel that romantic spark with him anymore, I love him and I know I do but I get to much in my thoughts thinking about why can’t I feel that anymore what has changed what if I don’t wanna be with anymore I’ve been with him for 4 years and at first I think it was ROCD but now I started thinking what if I’m into girls now I’ve always been the type to say oh a girl is so pretty or I like this about her but now I feel like every time I see a girl I’m like do I see myself in a relationship with her oh she’s pretty oh I like her voice do I find it attractive and sometimes I do !!! Which is killing me I feel disgust thinking about because what if I secretly am no shame to people who are my sister herself is but I just feel wierd because I wanna be with my husband and feel happy there not with a girl and feel like a man because I see myself in the mirrior and I’m like do I myself being a man do I look lesbian? Do I act lesbian or bi? What if secretly I wanna be a man or I imagine myself being a man in a relationship with a pretty girl and idk what to think
youllwintheb...
- Date posted
- 18d
im confused
I don't know for sure if I have HOCD, but it seems like I do, I tried to accept the idea that I'm gay, I felt calm, and then I started to get scared because I didn't feel anxiety anymore, I still feel attracted to my girlfriend, both physically and emotionally, but I feel an attraction to boys, sometimes I panic when I feel attracted and sometimes I don't (but most of the time I do) and I don't want to break up with my girlfriend I want to get back to normal
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