Date posted: 3y

a rush of anxiety literally just came through me right now. i cant tell if i'm actually a monster or not. my facial expressions are scaring me they show signs that i'm attracted but i'm scared that i am. i'm scared that at some point somethings gonna change in my mind and i'm gonna turn into an actual monster im super scared i don't want to cause any harm. i don't know what to do

POCD

c1604

Date posted: 3y

You’re not a monster, the thoughts (which aren’t your own) are the monster. You wont cause any harm, remind yourself you are in control of your actions. Breathe, you can get through this ❤️

Date posted: 3y

thank you so much

Jojo

Date posted: 3y

I feel this way. I feel like my thoughts have now fully convinced me I am. Like I even tell myself in my mind I am. Like if I read anything about pedophiles or see anything about one . I feel like I relate . This does worry me. Also because I’m not in distress about it. Like I don’t want the thoughts in my head and it’s depressing to wake up with the thoughts and feel like I am one but I’m not in distress like before.

Jojo

Date posted: 3y

Relate in the sense that I feel like I am one. Before I was going back and fourth and like more in denial. I still feel denial and such but not like before. Idk. Maybe I’ve just veered more towards accepting the thoughts as factual. Which I know they say you’re not supposed to do. Idk. I don’t like to think about me feeling this way in the long term or future or I’ll get more depressed. I’m trying to motivate myself to go out to workout somewhat and have a normal routine to occupy my mind from feeling this way. I just feel like it’s always in the back of my mind now even when I’m not really preoccupied with he thoughts.

Date posted: 3y

i know exactly how you feel. it is really depressing. i also wake up with a bunch of horrible thoughts not even 5 minutes of me waking up. i know it feels like you're something that you're not, but remember that this won't be forever. it will pass at some point it doesn't have to be soon but we will get through this!! and hopefully you've gotten/will get the help you need. you're not alone.

Date posted: 3y

i feel like deep down i'm this monster that's coming out

andrewt_

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 21w

It’s not OCD, I’m just a monster

I have a fear of touching people inappropriately. When I was walking by someone, I intentionally thought a sexual thought, then I started wondering if it would make me move my hips, and then they moved a tiny bit. Obviously nothing happened. But I’m convinced that was me snapping. What I don’t understand is why the fuck I made a choice to think the thought. Usually I’m terrified of walking by people and try to pass them quickly. What could make me think the thought? I don’t even think the thought was about the person. I’m confused and scared

things_willg...

Date posted: 20w

Scared

i’m so scared im going to lose control and end up locked up or something. this is so exhausting!! i worry that what i have isn’t OCD and that im genuinely insane and im gonna end up in big trouble or that the urges i have are going to actually happen. i dont want to think these things ! i feel like a horrible human being!!

andrewt_

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 16w

I believe I’m a monster.

My body has done weird things during interactions and sometimes it feels like the movements came from me, like I controlled them. It’s freaking terrifying. Sometimes I believe I’ve gone psycho. I don’t know who the fuck I am anymore. Maybe I should just accept that I’m a danger to society.

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