a rush of anxiety literally just came through me right now. i cant tell if i'm actually a monster or not. my facial expressions are scaring me they show signs that i'm attracted but i'm scared that i am. i'm scared that at some point somethings gonna change in my mind and i'm gonna turn into an actual monster im super scared i don't want to cause any harm. i don't know what to do

You’re not a monster, the thoughts (which aren’t your own) are the monster. You wont cause any harm, remind yourself you are in control of your actions. Breathe, you can get through this ❤️

I feel this way. I feel like my thoughts have now fully convinced me I am. Like I even tell myself in my mind I am. Like if I read anything about pedophiles or see anything about one . I feel like I relate . This does worry me. Also because I’m not in distress about it. Like I don’t want the thoughts in my head and it’s depressing to wake up with the thoughts and feel like I am one but I’m not in distress like before.

Relate in the sense that I feel like I am one. Before I was going back and fourth and like more in denial. I still feel denial and such but not like before. Idk. Maybe I’ve just veered more towards accepting the thoughts as factual. Which I know they say you’re not supposed to do. Idk. I don’t like to think about me feeling this way in the long term or future or I’ll get more depressed. I’m trying to motivate myself to go out to workout somewhat and have a normal routine to occupy my mind from feeling this way. I just feel like it’s always in the back of my mind now even when I’m not really preoccupied with he thoughts.

i feel like deep down i'm this monster that's coming out