- Username
- JohnSmith98
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Thank you. I posted for the hope of everyone on here that their dead end can be FUCKING BROKEN
@rb@2 your reading about someone who subconsciously built a no escape route to his “problem” and that problem destroyed his entire life and after he finally wanted a way out and had to hope that there was even such a thing...it happened...after a long time...but it happened ....it really did. when I say impossible I mean every value/possibility of suffering would work against me so I don’t get out of ...EVER (you know how scary that is)...but I hoped and worked slowly and prepared myself to come out of it OFFICIALLY. And here I am.
But whatever theme your OCD is sometimes it’s okay to read about it through other psychological self help books too not only OCD focused. My problem was how much can I create or how much will this OCD theme destroy my life in terms of guilt shame and what I would be trapped in most (those 2 things)...so I bought a book as well on the subject of those two exact things...which once worked on lessens the impact of OCD because the OCD guilt and shame work off of social and general guilt and shame.
Do not give up hope *****
so happy for you. this makes me want to cry because i am realizing there is hope
Constantly understanding my theme and suffering more and more - from the question of why? Why do I want to make myself feel this way? Why do I want to find no way out? Why am I scared of these thoughts...that slow analysis was a definitely a boost
OCD will try and convince me it’s not working at times to trick me into going back. But going to keep focused now!
Congrats! So happy for you!
Awesome!
This is also after good therapy and self help ocd books along with some other general ones. Boy was it a process but I (YOU) will get there because hey...here I am...writing about it.
that makes me so happy to hear. so proud and happy for you
what are the books called?
So I first got one OCD book Then one book on “how to escape toxic guilt” which was what you can say my OCD theme way of torture - always working around right and wrong and guilt and shame.
Now I am reading another “freedom from OCD” which is good too.
im so glad, congrats!!!
Amazing xxx
What’s my theme if I keep thinking my children are dying?
Congratulations ?
Nice man!! Today is the first day in 2 months I have felt normal ish...I have felt like I couldn’t live anymore every day. ‘False Memories’ have been ruining me. But I’ve been trying something new and it’s been great so far!
Hi John, congrats really, that‘s great!! I like your approach as well reading so much about your problem. May I ask what form of therapy you took?
?????? ❤️
Hi @jin I have been actually in normal therapy where she understands about my OCD but I was so deep into the stories and the theme that I needed to come to full acceptance of it ALL at this point no matter if it’s OCD air NOT OCD - there is still hope for a way out. Now this definitely helped and I’ve built such a personal relationship with her that I don’t want to ever stop attending sessions haha but I agree that OCD therapy should be first choice for most and I will still consider it to better improve myself in anyway and go through a more focused OCD therapy.
@lewis hey man funny enough the false memories was the first theme I GOT OUT OF before another one hit me and made me create serious distance from the false memories theme that I was able to see so much clearer of the prison I was trapped in because I know that’s how it feels. My false memories was fucking horrid to the point where it was a god daym miracle I was suddenly able to get out and see it for what it is and promise myself I will never go there again. I’ll promise you this, the less time you spend trying to see if it’s false or real the better things will get for you. To fall in deep and proving yourself what happened or what could of happened is the first hole you will fall into. So if you’re deep enough already you must do everything you can to distance yourself from the story you obsess about and try your best to not doubt or prove it - step by step focusing on other activities and adjusting to reality “the now” Because whatever story that you are tapped in...one sudden moment of right now or checking back into reality will break the entire thing...believe me or not ...but this is true and if you work off that method and slowly start practicing that instead - putting yourself in the moment, putting yourself in the reality of WHAT IS HAPPENING NOW - your mind will realize what is real again.
So what will save you is the freedom that you have to live the presence because that is the only reality. The more you do that the more your mind in the background can adjust to reality and start to give less value to whatever is “the past” real or imaginary as it does not matter because right here right now all has been good up to this point and you are safe and sound and the reality is you haven’t done anything bad.
Yeah I’m starting to see that. My false memory’s went from about 20 of them to just this one. I’ve been dealing with it better the last two days. But it’s a ‘real event’ memory so it’s been hard to let go. I’ve been using Ali Greymonds advice and it’s been great so far!
John, how long did it take for you to get over the false memories? (Not looking for reassurance) This one is sticking more than others. But is fading a bit the more I don’t pay attention
With me I never did therapy or anything when it was happening...I suffered a few years until it kind of faded for a bit then another intense theme took over which took me out completely from the first one and gave me absolute clarity of holy shit where was i
Oh right, these ones were/are so painful for me. They are so intense, make me feel like **** every day and I contemplated ending it. A bit better at the moment, it’s so hard. But when you don’t pay attention to it things seem clearer?! The mind is strange
Hey everyone, just wanted to say that I conquered something really big with my OCD yesterday and I feel really proud about myself. I told the person I’m most close with about my ROCD and she was so understanding of it and we talked a lot about what she could do to help me when I get into one of those moods where it’s really obvious that I’m trying to more or less ‘interrogate’ her (Don’t worry it’s not by giving reassurance I talked to her about that). All this really helps me because a lot of the time after I have an ROCD type of mood swing it can trigger my Harm OCD and I think I’ve really hurt her and that what I do might cause her to self harm and all of this so it’s not a good cycle at all. I’m not trying to flaunt my success by no means and the reason why I’m saying this is because for once in a really long time I feel proud of myself and happy that I was able to take the first big step in dealing with my ROCD For anybody out there who thinks that they can’t get help or talk about their feelings, stop it. If I can do it (The person who’s incredibly introverted and has big trust issues) you can do it. I believe in all of you that you can all have success no matter how big or small it may seem it’s still progress. Have a wonderful day folks and remember to take care of yourself ?
Hi everyone! I've seen (and made) so many posts about the negatives of real event ocd and how it traps us, but I haven't seen many about people who have found recovery, so I wanted to mention my story! Not going to go into details on my event because I want to avoid reassurance, but I will say I had some events that caused me a lot of turmoil. I was constantly talking to friends and family, seeking reassurance, posting online, googling, making confession after confession, revisiting related events I had never thought about before, debating if I was overreacting or if I was a bad person, the works. And this was over events of which the most recent was a year before. It was bad, I am ashamed to say it but it was to the point I didn't know if I could keep going on with life because OCD had me so fixated on my shortcomings. It wasn't as if I had faced some tragedy I could overcome, or someone had wronged me, it was my "own fault" in my view. I would start each day immediately consumed with guilt and wondering if I wasn't really the person I thought I was, make it through my day, and then go home, breakdown and cry. Like every day. I had struggled on and off with ERP for a very long time. I constantly doubted I had OCD, thought I was just looking for excuses, and never really fully committed. After a particularly bad episode, I decided enough was enough. I wanted to move on so I truly committed to ERP. Every day, even when I didn't want to or had excuses. And surprise surprise, it worked. It's been a couple months almost of just being happier. The ERP has become a part of my life now, I don't practice daily anymore because it comes up naturally during my day. Whenever I have a trigger now I just go right to "maybe maybe not" out of habit. And now I use it for so many things that used to give me anxiety. Did I embarrass myself at the night out? Eh maybe. Am I a bad person for not telling this person all of my horrible thoughts? I dunno whatever, doesn't matter. I get anxious still, but I don't dwell on these unanswerable questions anymore. Life is a lot better now. I can't say I'm a perfect person, but I'm not afraid to move on anymore. I wanted to mention this because specifically with real event, I know it can be hard to let go since you feel like you have evidence against yourself. I don't know if this is wrong, but I will say that now that I'm not in a constant state of anxiety, the events I was worried about seem soooo much smaller. Were they my best moments? No, but they're not the world ending choices I was making them out to be. Not to reassure, but I just want to emphasize how OCD can really get us stuck in our own heads and distort things so much. We catastrophize, but really we are some of the most compassionate people. I feel lucky in some small way to be a part of the community here. So yeah, just wanted to say that even if it seems like you're going to be stuck on something for years, it WILL get better! BUT YOU HAVE TO PUT THE WORK IN!!! Best of luck to y'all and I am here for whoever needs it ✨❤️
After 16 years of letting OCD control my life and experiencing how treatment wouldn't help if I still did compulsions before, during, or after exposures I learned my lesson. I went to treatment for 3 years. It helped, but it was not as effective because I didn't fully embrace ERP's principles and didn't fully commit to it. That was my reality until recently. I finally decided to surrender to OCD. I restarted therapy, this time aiming to face this the right way: resisting my urge to fight, resist, neutralize, and any other compulsion to the best of my humanity. I even reduced my workload in preparation for probably needing time off in case OCD got worse. I really expected this to get bad... seriously bad... the biggest fight of my life. To my surprise. I HAVE BEEN KICKING OCD's ass!!!!!!! And I mean I'm kicking it bad!!! ERP (done well) really works!!!!!! I can't believe it. I can finally see a way out of this, and it is through our fears, not around them. So far, my biggest and most important learnings have been: (1) that this is really not about the content of our fear. Regardless of your type of OCD, the best therapists I've learned from always said it, and its true: it's the same disorder (OCD) leading the charge against us. And (2) this is not about proving our brain is lying to us. You may (and most likely will) reach that conclusion anyways. But it's not the goal of ERP. Actually, you learn to live with the possibility of your fears becoming true. Ever since I learned this, I've seen my anxiety levels come and go on their own, without me needing to do anything about it. It leaves on its own, and it comes weaker with as time progresses. I don't have to do anything, just resist compulsions and move on with life. That has been true for every single trigger I've had and every unique and creative "what if" my brain has created to lure me into the rabbit hole. I'm defeating triggers I developed as far back as 15 years ago!!!! And you know what? I'VE ONLY GROWN STRONGER! Never in my existence with OCD have I felt this hopeful, strong, and courageous. Never have I been more proud of myself! And I can only wish every single one of you experiences this too. ERP works! Please, do it! Seek help and if not available, use self-guided available resources. There are plenty of great books! Do it right!! ERP will bring more anxiety, but then you will see the beauty behind facing your fears and just how strong you are!!!! I never thought I could get to this point!
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond