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- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
When I first had HOCD I went to a sex therapist cause I had no idea it was OCD and I was balling because I thought I had to break up with my boyfriend that I loved because of female fantasies. He told me two really helpful things... one that I had ocd (I’m so thankful he knew about pure o) and then he was like “who cares of you need to fantasize a little bit about something other than your boyfriend to put you over the edge” (which was good response to an ocd person haha). Then he said that sexuality is a kelediscope not a scale, which for some reason helps me a lot to think about it like that. Anyway, it didn’t make the ocd go away, I had to do ERP, but it was just something that shaped the way I view sexuality that had helped me.
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- 4y
do you identify as straight? and if you don’t mind me asking what do you mean by female fantasies?
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- 4y
@holley I try not to label myself but I have only ever wanted to date a man. I mean like lesbian fantasies.
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- 4y
@Susan4444 i feel the same and i never thought that someone else would have the same fantasies as me it’s what i mostly fantasize about which concerns me.
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- 4y
my fantasies always turn out a little gay. literally always.
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- 4y
wdym?
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- 4y
@strawberry ice cream i usually fantasize about a threesome FFM with my boyfriend i don’t sit there and just fantasize about him exclusively
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- 4y
@holley ohh now I understand lol
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- 4y
@strawberry ice cream wdym??
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- 4y
It sounds like you might be a bit bisexual. Does that thought bother you?
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- 4y
why would you say that omgggg yes it bothers me
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- 4y
@holley I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to trigger you!!!!
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- 4y
@missbluesky that made my heart drop so fast i wouldn’t ever date a girl ever and i know you didn’t mean to trigger me but still now i just feel like i’m different and weird i think i need to get off of nocd everyone thinks i’m bisexual
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- 4y
@holley I think I’ve read somewhere that being bisexual doesn’t mean you’d date a girl, it just means you find them sexually attractive. I’m really sorry that I triggered you.
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- 4y
@missbluesky i understand that but i think that i find girls sexually attractive in porn or whatever i don’t know if i would actually do anything with one i’m unsure of my sexuality and i find a lot of comfort with just not knowing the uncertainty. there’s loads of straight girls i know that are a little sexually attracted to women. i don’t think it’s necessary to label every simple little feeling because if that were the case a lot of straight women would be bisexual.
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- 4y
@holley i would also like to mention that i have bpd so i’ve never been confident in my sexuality even before hocd my ideas and perception of life is ALWAYS changing so that added on to ocd makes me a very confused person lol. i thought i wanted to be a nurse 2 months ago and now i want to be a makeup artist. i don’t have a stable sense of self
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- 4y
@holley why does it bother you? there’s nothing wrong with it. sexuality is very complex anyway, you don’t have to label whatever you are. but it’s offensive to suggest that there’s something bad about being bisexual/homosexual
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- 4y
@liana2 where did i imply that?
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- 4y
@holley sorry, must’ve misunderstood you!! i just wanted to say that its okay, whatever you may be, there’s no reason to feel horrible if you’re considering you might be bi. i also have sexuality OCD so i get that its really stressful but it doesnt make you a bad person, and if it turns out you are LGBT thats perfectly fine
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- 4y
@frog67 i just don’t want to be apart of the lgbtq community i just don’t think i belong and i’m not considering that label either really
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
hi i’m a lesbian! and i have known im a lesbian for a really long time and i have a sweet girlfriend of 1 year. it all started when i saw this masc lesbian come out as straight, after that i had my guy friend over and he’s a sweet guy and he was flirting with me (he didn’t know i was gay) im not sure but i panicked and my brain froze and i was like “do i like him”, ever since my brain has been over worked 24/7 for 2 months now and it’s spiralling constantly. im trying to control it but all these thoughts are so disgusting and my brain tries to put him and i in scenarios that make me uncomfortable and i feel panic and i hate it. i have always been comfortable being a lesbian and i still am comfortable as a lesbian, but i dislike these thoughts i have about him and men and i want it to be over. i do not want to experiment with men even tho my brain is telling me i do, i find it disgusting and i dread it, i have a sweet girlfriend and i want to be with her forever, i do not imagine anything with any men and i hate these thoughts. im scared of becoming bisexual/straight one day and i hate hearing sexuality is fluid. its a whole mix of comphet and so-ocd
- Date posted
- 17w
Hi everyone, I’ve been really anxious lately, and I just need to get this out of my head. Someone recently told me that maybe I’m bisexual — that I might be more sexually attracted to women, but more romantically attracted to men. That bisexuality is not 50/50. And ever since I heard that, I’ve been spiraling. The thing is: I don’t want this to be true. It scares me. I don’t feel romantic attraction to women, I’ve never wanted to be in a relationship with one. But yes, I get aroused by fantasies involving women — and that makes me feel broken or like I’ve been lying to myself. I love my boyfriend deeply, I don’t want to lose him. I want to feel fully connected to him, physically and emotionally. But now I’m stuck in this obsessive loop of questioning: “What if I’m just in denial?” “What if I’m not really straight?” “What if this is why my libido is low?” It’s exhausting, and I don’t know if this is OCD, anxiety, or if something is fundamentally wrong. Has anyone else felt this split — romantic feelings for one gender, sexual feelings for another? I feel so alone and scared. Thanks for listening.
- Date posted
- 14w
hi guys i added to list. i’m freaking out i just need some help. signs of comphet (comphet is when lesbians who don’t know it and just follow norms and believe there straight) ive felt: “I never felt anything when kissing boys and totally thought that was normal… I talk to men, go on dates, but I think it’s to keep my life ‘interesting’ and have something to talk about with friends.” • lack of deep, natural emotional connection • • talking about my boyfriend to other people made me feel “cool”, “worthy”, “interesting” and felt like a way to prove myself • being able to clearly articulate all the reasons I liked a guy crush/my boyfriend (he’s smart, funny, kind, handsome, etc) whereas with a girl crush I can’t exactly put my finger on why I like them but I’m just naturally drawn to them • never missing my exes or feeling heartbroken about them (i would feel sad from being lonely and no longer having that daily routine of having someone to talk to, but didn’t necessarily miss that specific person) • i was always very hesitant about “becoming official” with a guy i would be seeing and would make him wait before deciding to date because i “didn’t know if i really liked him or not” only being aroused by their the man’s desire for me • Thinking I was cooler than other girls because I didn't spend any time thinking about how cute boys were or being "boy-crazy". I was under the impression for a while that I must just be less shallow than other people because I didn't really take looks into account when I had a crush on a boy, I only factored in their personality. chasing the ego boost more than emotional closeness agreed with friends or mom about someone being attractive even if you didn’t feel it—another big flag being bored, ditching serious commitment, chasing the drama again it also feels like i’m acting a lot of the time to make it more romantic cause i cringe When you fantasize about men, it is mostly just enacting a kind of narrative. More focused on movement than features- the men in your fantasies might be faceless or blank-featured or their bodies might symbolize some emotion. you might not even be in the in the fantasy, but instead another faceless woman might be. You might even imagine yourself as the man. The narrative follows the sexual script, but the details are more vague and abstract and might even shift and change throughout the fantasy. i dont care about like what guys looks like. like my sister saw a video of a guy working out and was like got damn omg gotta like that. if i saw that i would prob be like damn to try and prove something to myself but i don’t really understand what i should feel it feels like i relate to so much comphet after i read it on reddit and it doesn’t even make me want to cry and die anymore. it feels like i tolerate men or have done it for attention or because i thought it was going to happen at some point cause it was what was happening around me like sister and friends. i’m scared ill never find someone i want to marry that’s a man it feels like it’s all just comphet and i don’t want to actually be with a man the more my meds work and anxiety lessens the more the fear feels real because i can’t get myself anxious about it anymore. i can about other stuff but not this. i always told myself i don’t chase i attract. maybe thats cause i never wanted a big badly enough. maybe what im missing is a girl what if that ends up feeling more real Straight people don’t need to talk themselves into what’s hot. like during the hocd break i would try and like see what was “hot” and and be like yeah that’s hot. i also i refused to masturbate to women and not think about it because i didn’t want it to prove that i still liked it but i mean idk if that was left over hocd
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