I feel like I can’t identify intrusive thoughts…I’m just constantly trying to figure my sexuality out. Like, it’s the first thing on my mind in the morning and the last thing before I go to bed and I’ve been diagnosed with OCD several times but like??? Why do some people know they’re having “1-3 thoughts per hour” if I can’t even identify them?

Having constant intrusive thoughts is exhausting. They have made me question my relationship, my sexual orientation, if i am a good person, and so much more. It’s weird how they are all connected in a way too. A lot of these thoughts that I have feel so real, and i’m just now learning how to tell the difference between what is true and what is an intrusive thought. but at this point i cannot tell. they all feel real but still make me so uncomfortable. i’m scared i actually feel a certain way, whether that be i don’t actually love my boyfriend, i am actually bisexual or a lesbian, or that i am actually a horrible person and have done horrible things. it’s hard to not believe these things when they are constantly nagging at you. im scared im not with the right person. im scared that im not attracted to him enough, im scared we don’t have enough in common and im scared we don’t think the same way. im scared im supposed to be with someone else and that i am hurting him by lying. and im terrified i am lying about my sexual orientation and using him to deny my true thoughts. im scared i am actually bisexual or lesbian. i think i can accept being bisexual more than being a full blown lesbian, but it’s still scary. im not sure if i am actually bisexual or if i just have intrusive thoughts. and i don’t know what to do from there if i am. if i am bisexual that means to me i have to be with a woman? even though i don’t want to and i’ve never seen myself with a woman. i keep replaying memories with girls and if i showed any signs. and then i get scared that because i was aroused by “specific” porn that it means i am lesbian. all of these things make me feel like a horrible person for treating my boyfriend this way, lying to myself, and for being so confused. it’s exhausting. i don’t even know where to start to get help. im scared that i have had OCD my whole life, and if i have, i’m scared a lot of my feelings and thoughts weren’t even real. im scared when i liked a boy, it was actually my OCD. im scared that when i’ve been attracted to something, it was just my OCD. i don’t know what to do

Curious to hear how other peoples intrusive thoughts come up in regards to this theme? I constantly have an “I’m gay” replaying in my head and it’s the first thing that sometimes plays in my head when I wake up. I can’t tell if this is an intrusive thought or if I’m just in denial with myself. It doesn’t really give me anxiety anymore like it used to. More sadness/ state of depression and just overall annoyance. I’m in a relationship and when I started to date my current bf is when all of this came up for me. Curious to hear other people’s experiences with the kind of thoughts they have. Granted I have been dealing with this since about Nov of 2022 or maybe even earlier and it feels like I’ve had an array of intrusive thoughts. Quite frankly I also don’t have an OCD diagnosis but a previous therapist I had(not an OCD specialist) told me that I just have GAD with OCD personality and traits.

Not officially diagnosed with OCD, but will I ever get over this or is it just a part of my life now. Have been constantly having thoughts every single day for almost a year it feels like. There has barely been times where I’m not thinking “I’m gay” or having it in the back of my mind. This just brings extreme guilt as I’m in a relationship. Not sure what to do. Everything from my past is proof. This morning I was just bombarded with “ I’m gay” “im gay”