I feel triggered by the sight and shape of breasts. My anxiety goes away when the other person puts on a coat. But when she takes it off, I feel like I am trying to have a normal conversation while strobe lights are going on from her breasts. I am female. I feel distressed at this fixation and sad because it interferes with my ability to connect with the other person, and I really value my image of myself as sociable and warm. But I just can’t shake this sense that breasts are an aberration, that they shouldn’t be there, and I’m puzzled at how people can go on with life as usual when they have these weird things on their body. Breasts, to me, feel “other.” When this anxiety arises, I wonder: Is this OCD, or should I just accept myself as queer, or is this sense of breasts as “other” actually a psychological outcome of having very petite breasts and a mother with literally no breasts? Or maybe all three explanations are in part true? Whatever it is, the scariest thing is that it may always keep happening to me. It’s been going on now for almost 30 years! I did OCD treatment but am not entirely sure that OCD is the best explanation of what’s going on here.

Hmm. I can relate in some ways. Is it consistent for 30 years? Or on and off?

Read groinal response hocd and then scroll to bottom and read the comments. Sooo it seems to me like you have been having these thoughts for 30 years - that's a long exhausting time. I'm sorry to hear that. The thing is 30 years is a long time to create a habit and automatic response in yourself so at this point.. your brain is wired to see breasts, create response. It's so fast that you don't have even a moment to think about what just happened. So it's a little backwards in your case - you have a response then you start having the thoughts that question your preference or the reason why your having this. I think that's where the article comes in. Maybe try exposing yourself to the material - little by little - but every single day. Maybe a photo of breasts in the morning or right before you go to bed. Let the response happen.. just let yourself get worked up but don't try to "figure" out what it means. Have the thoughts and let the anxiety take over. Slowly, your brain will be re-wired to say.. ok this is boring. Nothing to worry about...it's worth a shot. I'm not a professional so take my words with a grain of salt but it may be worth it at this point.

Your words are so spot on. I did ERP four years ago for this issue but stopped bc it was expensive! So I need to continue doing ERP and not think “I already dealt with that” but realize that without doing ongoing maintenance it can come back. Thank you for coming alongside me with this!

Absolutely! I think you are totally right. I also had recovered for a while and then it all came back when I thought I was "done" with it but you're never really done. It's just accepting it and doing what you need to do to live a healthy, balanced life with OCD.

Amen sister!! Thanks so much for your encouragement and solidarity this afternoon. :-)

Right back at ya!

Hi waterlady, It’s more or less consistent, and most severe when I’m with someone with whom I’m afraid I will lose the relationship (whether friend or new acquaintance) if the person pick ups on either a) my distress or b) a “vibe” that I’m “into” their breasts.

*picks up

I understand... yes I have something the same. I'm on and off with it. I get these groinal responses and it's VERY annoying especially cause it happens around my friends and family. I'm trying to read up on it. I'll give you an update when I do my research

Please do!! Thanks :)

Ocdla.com/sexual-orientation-OCD-hocd-sub-types-treatment-1975