- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
I was there too. Right where it sounds like you are. I just finished the recommended sessions with my NOCD therapist. I'm amazed how well it has worked for me. Remember you are not alone. You aren't losing your mind, you have OCD.
- Date posted
- 4y
I’m really considering a session.. sometimes I’ll have the most intrusive thought that feels like I’m deliberately thinking it, if that makes sense?
- Date posted
- 4y
@latishal It does. My OCD has been with me for so long, I couldn't tell what was what. And oftentimes, my OCD behaviors would happen faster than the regular thoughts. Highly recommend talking to a therapist here!
- Date posted
- 4y
Ocd got really bad for me as well. I understand what you could be going through. I really tried to remind myself that I’m stronger than the ocd and the thoughts are just thoughts. Try not to pay attention to the ocd, as hard as it is.
- Date posted
- 4y
It’s really been a struggle for me recently, the thoughts seem so desired and wanted because I have a giving and caring personality with a side of wanting to be recognized it has created some thoughts with that involved so it makes it harder to allow them just to be thoughts. 😞
- Date posted
- 4y
@latishal The stronger you get, the thoughts come at you harder sometimes. It’s a challenge but just realizing that you don’t want them truly, you could find yourself not being effected as much by the thoughts.
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anthony The more I learn about them sometimes it gets easier to deal with them. Its really hard when it so close to your personality, and it takes a huge chunk of it and twists it around, impossible to escape. Learning about it really helps me to.look at it for what it is.
- Date posted
- 4y
I totally relate to how your feeling, my OCD kicked off massively when I has my little girl (she's now 9) I've not been able to shake it off since. do you want to talk about your theme? don't worry if not. x
- Date posted
- 4y
I have a harm theme and I honestly feel like sometimes I generate these thoughts deliberately which makes me have a lot more anxiety. I’ll also have a thought related to a previous thought/idea that I didn’t react to or do compulsions after having it, I think that’s OCD trying to one up me into doing compulsions? I know the tools I need to apply to recover but when the thoughts seem so real or even desired by me deliberately thinking them I get caught back up in the cycle, does that make sense?
- Date posted
- 4y
The way my OCD has currently manifested is freighting to say the least, if I described it you might even question if it’s my OCD or not. 😞
- Date posted
- 4y
@latishal You said it yourself. They seeeem so real. If you know deep down they aren’t true, just let them be there and don’t worry. If you don’t mean them and they aren’t true, then they can be there.
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anthony That’s the hardest part, my thoughts have escalated into this large scenario in my head and I can’t figure out if I desire it or not, it surely seems like I do but I also get anxiety and tingly with it. 😞
- Date posted
- 4y
@latishal it makes perfect sense to me because it sounds just like me. have you suffered with it since 2012? I have since 2011 and I think once you've suffered with a certain theme for such a long time it manifests into ways you would never imagine. its so clever and constantly shifting to make you doubt yourself. I wouldn't question it if you were to describe it because i know its probably something I have been through aswell. did you only start with OCD during pregnancy or have you had it when you were younger also? x
- Date posted
- 4y
@latishal I understand. Deciding whether thoughts are thoughts you want or not is difficult but I know you will get better at it.
- Date posted
- 4y
@Kimberley* I believe I had it when I was younger but just not as noticeable. (I may have had an eating disorder in high school and lots of anxiety) I didn’t have a good childhood to say the least, it was very rough. My themes or should I say thoughts have changed so much.
- Date posted
- 4y
@latishal yea same, I had it when I was younger but it came out terribly after I had my little girl. you have to try and remember who you was before your OCD thoughts took over, ocd is the doubting disease and it will continue to manifest until you actually believe the crap it comes out with. I have hit a place where I've started to believe the thoughts but you have to try and pull yourself back from it as hard as it is. Trust in your values and the person you was before you started suffering with this theme. that is who you are, not your thoughts. x
- Date posted
- 4y
@Kimberley* The way my OCD is mandifesting recently is so different then I’ve expierenced before. It’s taking my caring personality against me in a way, does that make sense? It alignes with how I think sometimes what’s why it makes me panic because it’s taking a piece of my personality and using it against me. 😞 I’m trying to leave them as JUST thoughts and trying not to figure them out. Hardest part is leaving them alone.
- Date posted
- 4y
@latishal yes that makes sense, so it's making you feel like your a bad person? the hardest part is leaving them alone it really is and it's something I really struggle with. because I don't feel anxiety over things at the min that makes me think I'm a hideous person and that I don't care about it. it's awful.
- Date posted
- 4y
@Kimberley* Totally feeling like a bad person, I haven’t been experiencing anxiety nearly as much but I’ve been practicing some techniques to disregard the thoughts or not react but then it makes me believe them even more, does that happen for you?
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
I don’t have an official OCD diagnosis, but I will be asking my doctor tomorrow if I can get referred to a psychiatrist to get an official diagnosis. The way I came to the conclusion that what I’m dealing with is OCD is because a month and a half ago I just started having the most horrible disturbing intrusive thoughts that go against all my values and beliefs and attacking the stuff/people I care about the most out of absolutely NOWHERE. Mind you, I have never had anything like this happen in my life. I feel that I have always been someone with a peaceful mind and one of the worst intrusive thoughts I can ever remember having before this happened, was “what happens if I cut my finger right now” while I was cutting fruit. That’s pretty much it. After this whole horrible intrusive thought spiral started happening I was so scared because I have never had such awful intrusive thoughts like this that were the complete opposite of me, it just quite literally started out of NOWHERE, and that’s what was so scary and terrifying. It was like my whole life got turned upside down because of this and I’ve been mainly isolating in my room, feeling so much anxiety and dread and guilt/shame. I get four of the same thoughts and one intrusive image repeating over and over again even if I would not try to think about them, and it caused me so much distress and anxiety that I would be so anxious and cry everyday just thinking how I could ever possibly think such horrible intrusive thoughts like that. It’s caused me insomnia which I’ve never dealt with before and I went three days in a row without being able to sleep no matter how hard I tried (even while taking melatonin). Other days I struggle so much to fall asleep due to the intrusive thoughts being much more present at nighttime, and even when taking melatonin that doesn’t do anything because of my mind being so active and having so much anxiety. Is this what they call an OCD flare up? After constantly looking up all the symptoms of ocd (the more and lesser known ones alike), I noticed there were some symptoms of it that I displayed in childhood when the ocd could’ve been more dormant or mild you could say (skin picking), because once again I have never had such horrible intrusive thoughts like this out of nowhere and constantly repeating in my mind that felt like they were out of my control. I noticed that these intrusive thoughts started on the second day of my menstruation when I was in a lot of pain and was feeling very emotional/stressed. One of the things I’ve heard a lot is that during the menstruation cycle is when ocd flares can happen more often due to the increase in hormones during that time, and I wonder if that’s what happened to me? I’m also overall such a big over thinker and have been for as long as I can remember. I also have had anxiety and depression since middle school as well. Any insight would be very much appreciated 😭
- Date posted
- 19w
I’m new to treatment and only realized I have OCD a few months ago. I went through a tough and abusive marriage and ended up getting divorced. I had my first panic attack several years ago and ended up needing to go on Lexapro. This helped me significantly and allowed me to leave my partner. Several years later and I decided to stop Lexapro because I thought I was good to go. I’m in a very healthy relationship, have a great job, friends/family, go to the gym and have a wonderful life. It’s been about a year off the meds and I’ve had some panic, but I’ve been able to manage it. For some reason, the last three weeks has been really difficult for me. I have different spirals and different thought processes: what if I’m schizophrenic? What if I have a deeper mental disorder? What if I hurt someone? What if I need to leave my partner? What if I end up becoming so depressed that I end up hurting myself? My brain just goes from one what if to the next and once I conquer one, the next one pops up with even more intensity. I started taking NAC and inositol and I’m taking saffron during the day because I really don’t wanna go on back on medication but sometimes my thoughts scare me and I’m convinced that I’m not gonna get better and I know that’s just the OCD loop, but I’m wondering if this resonates with anyone else!
- Date posted
- 16w
I’ve recently been struggling a lot with OCD. I have had OCD for a long time I just didn’t realize it until more recently. About seven months ago I developed panic attacks one day randomly at work. I thought I was having a heart attack and went to the hospital where they told me it was just a panic attack and I assumed I would snap out and be better within a few days. However it didn’t. Here’s where it gets scary, I was staying at my then boyfriends house while dealing with blurry vision, anxiety attacks everyday, and more (unsure of what was going on). But at some point I saw my bfs (pew pew 🔫) on his table and it sent me into an anxiety attack after sudden thoughts that I was going to hurt myself with it. I begged him to put it away when I’m not looking so I didn’t know where he put it. He did. These thoughts lasted for about four days but began to go away. (I thought that was it and I would be back to normal). Unfortunately though I ended up moving back in with my family when we couldn’t get my panic attacks under control in time for me to get back to work and pay bills. However, coming home brought up a lot of trauma from when I was kid. My anxiety got worse but I didn’t have those thoughts again. About two and half months ago though, I got sick and went to the hospital where they gave me steroid pills and a steroid shot but sent me into some kind of psychiatric event. Ever since then though, I have been suffering from harm OCD, I have had moments of intense anger that I usually have to completely walk away and go on my own because of how intense they are, and it feels like it’s getting worse. Today I felt fine until about and hour and half ago where I started to dwell on the fact that my suicidal thought was influenced by my OCD and at the moment my OCD is at the worst it’s been. This caused me to get suddenly really depressed and I started crying thinking about how I can’t handle this. I then saw a post talking about how suicide rates are high for people with this form of OCD and it made me question if I am mentally strong enough to pull through this. I fear that at times I’m getting worse. I have good days but I have a lot of bad days. Unfortunately this sent me into such a bad panic attack I went over to my nanas crying about how I can’t deal with this. I took a 0.25 mg Xanax which helped calm down the panic attack portion of it but my brain is still uncomfortably active. I guess I just need hope. I’m so saddened by this. It’s like my life took a total 360 in 10 months and got even worse since the steroid shot. Idk what to do about it. I can’t stop the spiral. I talk to two different therapist weekly and start more next week, making it 5 times a week. I feel no improvements…
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