For the past one year, I've been dealing with HOCD. So, that brings us to the problem at hand, which is that, last day at around 5 pm, I impulsively decided to bring an ultimate end to this problem and come out as bi. And I did that pretty publicly, I took to twitter, to tweet about it, I posted a screenshot of that tweet on my WhatsApp status and literally told my mom about that too. Everyone, who cared enough to respond was pretty supportive which makes the whole thing worse. So, I've got a bi friend of my own, and her and I got to talking about how she discovered her bisexuality or how she got reprimanded by her family members, after getting caught with a girl. Well, honestly, I just couldn't relate to that story at all. I just didn't understand why I couldn't find the same level of enthusiasm that the others were feeling for me. So, I thought to myself "could I just be gay?" but that felt weird to even think about. I am most definitely not gay, I've always liked guys and been attracted to them, imagined a future with guys, but HOCD just made me feel like I didn't and that there was a possibility for me to be gay. I don't know how to get out of this mess that I've created, I really could use some advice. I just can't for the life of me take any more decisions for myself.

They weren't strangers, they were 2-3 years older than me and I trusted them.

@lilsmolbean2003 Alright for this, im sorry that did this had to happen to you. Im speechless your ocd could have came from that traumatizing event. Do you see them now? Do anyone else know about this ? Does your family know. I will send you a link to a podcast its not OCD related ,its about religion( dont worry not trying to convert you or that its bias) they are young dudes which makes it relatable too i suggest listening to this podcast while going for a long walk and just listen with an open mind. It will address the trauma behind molestation and confusion with sexuality because of it. It is a specific topic as well

@lilsmolbean2003 Heres the podcast link https://castbox.fm/vb/337098663 You can watch this on YouTube let me know it works

@lilsmolbean2003 I was touched inappropriately by my mother when I was really young, I remember her chasing after me and the anxiety I felt as a child. I just started remembering things. I was also sexually harassed by my best friend at age 11, stalked by pedophiles and groomed by older men. I believe my HOCD may be because of this. You're not alone, you're a survivor and you're brave for telling everyone on here what happened. I just wanted to share some stuff of my own to let you know there are others out there just like you :)

@alexisrae1999 I'm sorry to hear that... I really am...

@lilsmolbean2003 Thank you for your empathy:)

Thank you so much ❤️

I honestly feel hopeful after hearing this.

@lilsmolbean2003 Im happy to hear that. Here's this video about HOCD and why "experimental" is a terrible advice https://youtu.be/wnN0J3fDz5M Please let me you if you can see both links i sent

@PaperTigerOCD I can see both the links that you've sent me

@lilsmolbean2003 Great let me know what you think and watch them 3 times if you need to

No I do have other kinds of OCD as well, but this one in particular is the most nerve wrecking of all.

@lilsmolbean2003 What made you get to that point? Also do you have therapy from NOCD? Do you want to pursue women?

@PaperTigerOCD No honestly, I don't think, I'll ever wanna pursue women. I've heard people talking about "experimenting " with people of the same gender, but honestly, I don't wanna do that. Well, I'll be honest with you, I had been molested by both men and women (mostly women) in my past. Some were of my age, some were older than me. And I never liked that, I've only ever found my comfort in men. But last to last year after having broken up with my boyfriend of 3 years, I fell into depression, I didn't know how to move ahead from that and I didn't wanna welcome anyone new to my life. And HOCD happened last year.