- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
I am totally with you on this. I had and I guess still do have an unhealthy relationship with pornography. I went down some dark rabbit holes and one day woke up and was like wtf am I doing!? Since then it has latched into everything and the guilt and shame are so real. The best we can do is have self compassion and remember we are human. We make mistakes and it’s what we do now and in the future that make us better.
- Date posted
- 4y
Real memory ocd. You have to put in mind that whatever you did in the past is over and it doesn't define you in the present moment. You feeling all that guilt about it 100% means you're a good person. We are humans we make mistakes and that's fine. What matters is this current moment and nothing else.
- Date posted
- 4y
thanks i’ll keep that in mind. i’ve been hurting for months since i’ve always been against that stuff considering what has happened to me as a child. do you have advice on what to do if my thoughts try to get to me in terms of the memories?
- Date posted
- 4y
@Rey ⚜️ Maybe do something good whenever you remember a memory, this can remove your guilt and always remember that you're in the present moment. Your old actions are over and they don't matter. What matters right now is your values at the moment.
- Date posted
- 4y
@not_me wow thanks 😁 you’ve really opened my eyes i really appreciate the advice (sorry if i sound sarcastic)
- Date posted
- 4y
@Rey ⚜️ As I said your guilt shows how good you are, glad I helped such a wonderful person🤍
- Date posted
- 4y
I had a very similar real event/pocd combo because of the disturbing taboo porn I saw when I was about 15. I do erp therapy through here and told my therapist about it, it helped a ton. My ocd uses it as evidence or proof a lot and it really drives me insane and makes me sick bc I’m in no way attracted to kids and I can’t even figure out why I watched it because it’s disgusting looking back.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
Hi everyone, I'm struggling with what I think are intrusive thoughts, possibly related to OCD, and I'm hoping someone here might relate. When I was younger, in my early teens, I went through a period where I had a strong interest in pornography. During that time, I encountered hentai involving male characters, related to an anime I enjoyed. One of the characters was someone I even looked up to. I feel incredibly uncomfortable admitting this, but I believe I engaged in sexual activity related to it. Years later, I'm plagued by intrusive thoughts about this. I feel intense self-disgust and shame. It's like this memory has "tainted" my ability to enjoy that anime, and sometimes other things. I'm constantly replaying the situation in my mind, questioning my past actions, and worrying about what it means about me. The anxiety is significantly impacting my life. Does anyone else experience intrusive thoughts focused on past events, particularly those that cause feelings of shame or disgust? How do you cope with the constant replaying and questioning? I'm looking for support and understanding. Thank you for listening.
- Young adults with OCD
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- False Memory OCD
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- Date posted
- 23w
Hey guys today I just wanted to come here and share an experience I have and I generally don't know what to do I feel like a terrible person for having these thoughts and for thinking them I genuinely don't know what to do I don't know the signs behind it and why I think the way I do but it's honestly driving me crazy I don't know what to do I have a pornography addiction for a long time it's where it's like anytime I'm an intimate moment or am masturbating my head just thinks these weird things always the same repetitive thoughts to of family members your younger sibling or a young child I myself am a 17 year old and I feel so disgusted I feel like I can't live my life anymore I feel like I'm a criminal cuz like it feels like I chose this these thoughts like I actively think them I don't know the signs behind it and I just really need professional help if there's any like therapist here that could fill me in that would be nice I would also like to know if you guys had any similar experiences because for me I feel like I have to rewatch pornography and do it right without the thoughts cuz I feel like the thoughts are just like to prevalent anytime I do anything related to masturbation why do I think this way I'm also just trying to be as honest as I can with this I'm not trying to make myself I guess a victim I'm trying to hold myself accountable if I actually am like this because I also have doubts in my head that tells me that I enjoy these things I feel like I'm going crazy someone help because it feels so real like I acted on them or that I was pleasuring myself to the thoughts and not towards the video it's just how can I live with myself you know also during it it felt like I was thinking the thought for a long period of time like it was dominating my head so I couldn't focus it felt l
- Young adults with OCD
- NOCD Therapy Alumni
- Students with OCD
- POCD
- OCD newbies
- False Memory OCD
- "Pure" OCD
- Real Events OCD
- Date posted
- 16w
I feel nauseous. Extremely sick, i cannot eat, cant sleep well, and I haven't enjoyed things I normally enjoy to cry in bed and spiral for several days already. I feel extremely anxious over my past real events. I remembered something extremely triggering. I used to be morbidly curious about crimes and like I remember when i was a younger teen I watched a dark documentary that honestly i shouldnt have watched. There was this extremely weird scene and i think i felt weirded out but also a little aroused? but only bc I was thinking "lucky, shes already having sex. I wish I was her so i could experience it too." The poor person was like 1-3 years younger than me at the time. I KNOW how wrong that is now i legit feel like im going to throw up rn. Anyway I think I felt a little aroused??? And I think I touched myself a little bit and imagined myself in her place? I dont think I enjoyed it bc i remember it felt forced and weird and i stopped. I never did it again. I feel so sick! I would NEVER watch a documentary like that now as an adult and think or touch myself to it thats just so wrong but im scared that this is a sign im a sicko/p. I remmeber crying at the end of the documentary bc I felt disturbed by the contents but i still put some in my watch later out of morbid curiosity to see more real cases of these crimes bc they scared me. I never watched them again though. It only happened once and it was before my ocd started which SCARES me even more!!! And i wouldnt watch them as an adult either theyre too disturbing! I regret it so badly and feel like a monster bc it was messed up. Like what was wrong with me?! Theyre extremely disturbing to me and I rather avoid such content bc its triggering to my ocd but im afraid now like was that a sign of me possibly being a p? Am I a monster??? Am I in denial? Is this even ocd?! I feel so much shame and guilt it's killing me. 😔
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