- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Random question but do any of you suffer from low sex drive on top of all of this? Low sex drive is what feeds my HOCD so so bad because it makes me feel like I never enjoyed being intimate with men
- Date posted
- 4y
Yeah this a really common really shitty side effect of SO OCD :(
- Date posted
- 4y
Yep just yesterdee, same exact male-validation theme
- Date posted
- 4y
This is also a huge trigger for me. Especially because I really like male attention and validation and sometimes feel like I‘m craving it (I always had low self esteem). I never questiond this before ocd but learning about all this comphet stuff has opend the Gate to hell for my SO Ocd 😔
- Date posted
- 4y
@ta Yeah defenitly! What helps is to remind myself that the world is not as black and white as people try to make it. Just because some people had the experience of this being comphet, doesn‘t mean that I‘m also experiencing it. There a million other reasons why I like male attention 😅 And yes I have false attraction and I hate it. Basically it always happens when I find another woman pretty or nice or when they wear a cool outfit
- Date posted
- 4y
@ta I get it with manly looking women and I hate it!
- Date posted
- 4y
@ta I'm a woman
- Date posted
- 4y
@ta I was chatting with a friend (about boys we liked ironically) when I unintentionally glanced down at her groin. I has a sensation in between my legs that lasted about a second then as a joke I asked myself if that's what gay people experience then I suddenly panicked!! What if I had suddenly turned gay? It all spiralled from that.
- Date posted
- 4y
@ta Sometimes it does and it is extremly scary. Because with manly looking women my ocd can be even more creative by giving me scenarios I would actually enjoy with a man but insertes the Woman instead if you know what I mean 🙈
- Date posted
- 4y
@Maraki Since then I have these false attractions to male looking women, some of them are not even good looking. It's like my brain spots them before my eyes even see them. Then I get this strong attraction feeling. I know it's crazy but in the moment it feels real and overwhelms me with panic and I can't think of anything else.
- Date posted
- 4y
@ta I was 19 when is started. I am in my 40s now and I am generally really well after treatment and meds. The only remaining trigger is seeing masculine looking women sometimes and that can bother me
- Date posted
- 4y
@ta Being able to appreciate someone is attractive isn't the same as being sexually attracted to them. Unfortunately OCD doesn't allow the sufferer to tell the difference (thus the the false attraction messages you get) and that's what can cause the panic, upset and confusion.
- Date posted
- 4y
@ta Once you are able to calm yourself and accept that your brain thinks all sorts of thoughts and our bodies create all sorts of sensations and many of them don't mean anything significant about us, you will be more in-line with the way non OCD sufferers think and feel. Then you will be able to tell the difference.
- Date posted
- 4y
Ugh sorry for all the typos. I‘m not a nativ speaker and my phone does all these stupid auto-correcting things 🤦♀️
- Date posted
- 4y
Yes. This terrifies me
- Date posted
- 4y
I’ve always had incredibly low self esteem and as a result I felt having a boyfriend would “validate” me and now it’s coming back to bite me in the ass because of comphet
- Date posted
- 4y
I think that straight women want male validation too though. I think that’s more of a low self esteem thing rather than a gay thing
- Date posted
- 4y
I get scared of this too :(
Related posts
- Date posted
- 15w
Hi everyone, I’ve been really anxious lately, and I just need to get this out of my head. Someone recently told me that maybe I’m bisexual — that I might be more sexually attracted to women, but more romantically attracted to men. That bisexuality is not 50/50. And ever since I heard that, I’ve been spiraling. The thing is: I don’t want this to be true. It scares me. I don’t feel romantic attraction to women, I’ve never wanted to be in a relationship with one. But yes, I get aroused by fantasies involving women — and that makes me feel broken or like I’ve been lying to myself. I love my boyfriend deeply, I don’t want to lose him. I want to feel fully connected to him, physically and emotionally. But now I’m stuck in this obsessive loop of questioning: “What if I’m just in denial?” “What if I’m not really straight?” “What if this is why my libido is low?” It’s exhausting, and I don’t know if this is OCD, anxiety, or if something is fundamentally wrong. Has anyone else felt this split — romantic feelings for one gender, sexual feelings for another? I feel so alone and scared. Thanks for listening.
- Date posted
- 14w
I wouldn’t really say I have SO-OCD, but it manifests in some areas of my TOCD. Like if I see a woman for example my thoughts will go “what if I like her but as a man?” like my thoughts say I’m a straight man instead of a straight woman. And it’s really bothering me. If I see an attractive woman my brain will re-wire and imagine myself as a man looking at an attraction woman and it gets super uncomfortable that I have to like shake my head and say “no no no no no” multiple times to get the thought out. I know that counts as a compulsion but it’s hard to not do it because it’s so triggering. Now I don’t mind if I like women, however I’m really scared that I’m actually a straight man who likes women (or at least a bisexual man, considering I like men) and I hate it because I don’t want to be a man. Like I’ll think of my desired relationship as a woman dating a man but my OCD will switch it up to me being the man dating the woman, which is the opposite of what I want. I don’t want to be a man at all and I don’t want to date a woman, both of those are the opposite of my desires, but I’m still so scared. I’ll accept myself if I actually like women and am a bisexual woman, however I heard that being bisexual can mean being trans which scares me (for the record it was said in reddit by a sub which is mainly focused on a pseudoscientific phenomenon, that is still believed by the members to be true, so it’s definitely not a trustworthy statement, but my OCD will use anything to work against me) Does anyone here relate a little? 🥲
- OCD newbies
- Transgender OCD
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- Young adults with OCD
- Real Events OCD
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- Date posted
- 11w
hi guys i added to list. i’m freaking out i just need some help. signs of comphet (comphet is when lesbians who don’t know it and just follow norms and believe there straight) ive felt: “I never felt anything when kissing boys and totally thought that was normal… I talk to men, go on dates, but I think it’s to keep my life ‘interesting’ and have something to talk about with friends.” • lack of deep, natural emotional connection • • talking about my boyfriend to other people made me feel “cool”, “worthy”, “interesting” and felt like a way to prove myself • being able to clearly articulate all the reasons I liked a guy crush/my boyfriend (he’s smart, funny, kind, handsome, etc) whereas with a girl crush I can’t exactly put my finger on why I like them but I’m just naturally drawn to them • never missing my exes or feeling heartbroken about them (i would feel sad from being lonely and no longer having that daily routine of having someone to talk to, but didn’t necessarily miss that specific person) • i was always very hesitant about “becoming official” with a guy i would be seeing and would make him wait before deciding to date because i “didn’t know if i really liked him or not” only being aroused by their the man’s desire for me • Thinking I was cooler than other girls because I didn't spend any time thinking about how cute boys were or being "boy-crazy". I was under the impression for a while that I must just be less shallow than other people because I didn't really take looks into account when I had a crush on a boy, I only factored in their personality. chasing the ego boost more than emotional closeness agreed with friends or mom about someone being attractive even if you didn’t feel it—another big flag being bored, ditching serious commitment, chasing the drama again it also feels like i’m acting a lot of the time to make it more romantic cause i cringe When you fantasize about men, it is mostly just enacting a kind of narrative. More focused on movement than features- the men in your fantasies might be faceless or blank-featured or their bodies might symbolize some emotion. you might not even be in the in the fantasy, but instead another faceless woman might be. You might even imagine yourself as the man. The narrative follows the sexual script, but the details are more vague and abstract and might even shift and change throughout the fantasy. i dont care about like what guys looks like. like my sister saw a video of a guy working out and was like got damn omg gotta like that. if i saw that i would prob be like damn to try and prove something to myself but i don’t really understand what i should feel it feels like i relate to so much comphet after i read it on reddit and it doesn’t even make me want to cry and die anymore. it feels like i tolerate men or have done it for attention or because i thought it was going to happen at some point cause it was what was happening around me like sister and friends. i’m scared ill never find someone i want to marry that’s a man it feels like it’s all just comphet and i don’t want to actually be with a man the more my meds work and anxiety lessens the more the fear feels real because i can’t get myself anxious about it anymore. i can about other stuff but not this. i always told myself i don’t chase i attract. maybe thats cause i never wanted a big badly enough. maybe what im missing is a girl what if that ends up feeling more real Straight people don’t need to talk themselves into what’s hot. like during the hocd break i would try and like see what was “hot” and and be like yeah that’s hot. i also i refused to masturbate to women and not think about it because i didn’t want it to prove that i still liked it but i mean idk if that was left over hocd
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