- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y ago
this was me and it’ll attack when i’m with him and it is hell. but i know just sitting with it was hard but it helped! i’m not going to lie, my boyfriend and i HAVE had some issues so i didn’t just dismiss but now i can decipher which is ocd and which is i’m genuinely upset rn but your feelings don’t magically changes in one night! and ROCD is a hard one! it’s very tough but you can do this! don’t forget, love is a choice. NOT A FEELING!
thank you for the advice ❤️
i get worried because it feels like my feelings are hardly there for them lately but they also are the only person who gives me comfort and i can’t seem to stay away from them. i just feel out of it and my emotions and sense of self feel gone. i also keep going over interactions between me and them all the time to see how i’m feeling until i feel right about it
i totally get this and do the same thing. you’re not alone
@ anonymous it’s so hard knowing whether it’s rational or irrational and it breaks my heart because all i want to do is feel the way i felt about them before. this all happened out of nowhere. how do you cope with it
@getwellsoon literally same exact thing with me. happened out of no where and all i want is to go back to the way i felt before. i had a different theme then and it feels like that one was so much easier than this one
@ anonymous me too. this one just came so unexpectedly that it’s hard for me to tell if it’s an intrusive thought or not but i know deep deep down i don’t want to give up on them.
Yes, very much so. I have had this happen to me where you question the relationship n ocd makes you obsess
Absolutely. When I was dating my (now) wife I had that kind of ROCD really, really bad. It took a very deliberate choice. Marrying her had more to do with a firm choice than it did about how I felt all the time. I just knew that when I wasn’t anxious, things were good, and that when I was, I couldn’t connect. Obsessions often focus on things that are important to you, so no big surprise that it has latched onto your relationship! Just know that when you’re analyzing how you feel about someone it basically makes it impossible to feel positive emotions. I will tell you that as soon as I made a “final” choice (getting engaged) my anxiety didn’t disappear but it did reduce by a significant degree.
thank you so much, that gives me so much hope
Glad we are here to talk to each other about this.
feeling very drained
I’ve had so many moments of clarity with my OCD that I love my boyfriend and I’m beyond willing to go through this to be better and be with him. in the back of mind I’ve in a way known I was at least somewhat sexually attracted to women (I’m a woman) since the start of the ocd it was always like “okay. Fine, but I don’t want to date a girl” I only just realized this after the ocd started, I never really argued with this. my ocd has always revolved around if I’m romantically interested in women and not men. I’ve done so many compulsions through this year and a half and 9 times out of 10 have come to the conclusion that I don’t want to be with a woman romantically. I always end up feeling like I know I love my boyfriend. But the doubts don’t stop about whether I want to spend my life with a woman instead, my heart literally breaks to think of not being with my bf and imagining him with someone else. I don’t want to be with a woman I know deep down somewhere underneath the anxiety that that’s not what I want. It doesn’t feel natural for me, unfulfilling. I want to tell my boyfriend about the possible sexual attraction to women (ik it’s still ocd related) but I’m scared that once I tell him, I’ll realize that I actually do want to be with women and not with him. Ugh I’ve spent hours today ruminating about this after being solid in my commitment with him for a little while, I’m stuck in this loop and idk how to get out right now
Does Rocd make it nearly impossible to forgive your partner for anything. Whether it is big or small? My situation is so gray area where there’s something my bf did that I feel like I’m not okay with but he did this when we were first dating (not bf and gf yet). I ruminate all day about it bc I don’t want to lose him and see a future with him and I know he loves me so purely. But I also feel like I’m going against my morals here bc I do feel betrayed by what he did. I try to forgive him by diminishing my feelings and telling myself “he never did anything physical with a girl or went out with another girl while we were together” but still feel so hurt that he even messaged another girl while us dating. He’s given me an explanation and has proved how much I can trust him so I’m just completely stuck on whether I should forgive something I know I would’ve never done to him or leave him even though the only thing he’s done wrong was before us becoming official. I’ve broken up with him countless times over this situation bc I feel like I “can’t live with it” but then immediately when we break up I want him back and I kind of understand his explanation and reasoning. I don’t know what is ocd and what is my real intuition anymore. I genuinely think it’s both. Are any of you guys in the same boat?
I'm 18, and been in a relationship with my man for nearly 2 years. I started living with him around 2 months ago, and all I do is think about if he's cheating. We were long distance for a year and a half of our relationship, maybe seeing eachother once every month or two. I decided to move in with him, and ever since all I can think about is if he's cheating or watching porn. When he's in another room I think he's doing something wrong, I have to check on him every ten minutes to ease my anxiety. I didn't have this problem before moving in. Granted he has talked to some girls on his phone, even having his ex on his phone (didn't do anything bad) and he is porn addicted though he is getting better for me. It's gotten so bad I want to leave him. A couple days ago I broke up with him and it absolutely broke my heart, I couldn't bare it so I gave him a month to show me he can do better, and for me to work on myself. If I'm still unhappy with us I'm going to leave. I love this boy more than anything. I'm scared to be without him, this is my first real relationship. At this point I refuse to even sleep until he is sleeping. I don't want to start over, I don't want to leave him, but I really can't take this pain it's causing me. It's all I think about. I've convinced myself so many times that he's cheating, but I know he wouldn't. I question whether it's anxiety or intuition. Maybe I just know deep down he really is cheating and I just don't want to believe it. I don't know. I don't think he would do that, but at the same time he's really into women. I hate that he looks at other girls in a sexual way, it bothers me so much, and we talk about it often, but with it being an addiction it's difficult. He has gotten a lot better since we have talked about it. He understands I have an issue and is usually happy to talk about it over and over and promise me over and over that he's not cheating. He allows me to have his phone whenever I want and everything, I have no reason to think he's cheating, but I can't get over it. It's not fair to him either. How do I deal with this? How do I stop hurting so much?
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