i have looked this up before to see if anyone else got this with Relgious OCD but never found anything. I get these terrible thoughts about something bad happening and then I make like a would you rather in my head I say would I rather this terrible thing happen not happen or go to heaven. and then I spend hours ruminating on what I would rather or I feel like I won't go to heaven.

yea I feel like I need to make a choice

@pruni And the last sentence, are you saying you need to spend a lot of time on ruminating or you will automatically not go to heaven?

Well, for me, sometimes I have a false choice in my mind: either I go to hell, or someone else does (or goes to a place like it until the earth ends, for a more specific example). Sometimes the choices are different, but it's always something bad, or something bad. Is that the kind of thing you're talking about?

@Anonymous well I get that too yea. I'll give you an example. would i rather fall out of love with my partner and hurt them or not go to heaven.

@pruni Yeah, I understand that, and I'm sorry to hear about that. And you know, it's normal for scrupulosity to combine with other types of OCD -- so normal that it is recommended as the very first trigger option in the hierarchy suggestions! I've had mine combine with perfectionism, harm, contamination, "pure", and magical thinking. For me, it was my cats; I'm pretty sure animals don't go to hell (whether or not they go to heaven), so my mind cooked up my specific example previously mentioned. I couldn't sleep in my room for months!!! Among many other compulsions...

@Anonymous I'm really sorry to hear that but I'm glad your better I hope.

thank you I'll pray for you too.i just have another question do you ever struggle with praying. I think it's moral ocd but when I find myself praying for people struggling I kind of get in my head and worry if I really want them to get better or not.

@pruni Completely relateable! Intrusive thougts during prayer was my first worse obsession; I think I've had OCD affect me for a while (like, all throughout highschool and some ways before), but one day I had an intrusive thought during a prayer and my mind just snapped and everything went downhill from there. It was last summer that it happened. Do you try to "pray correctly" too? And feel free to talk to me about anything -- I don't mind at all

@Anonymous yea I always struggle with "praying correctly" I've been struggling with faith for a long time ever since the ocd started

@pruni When it comes to praying correctly, I tend to try to stop everything I'm doing immediately at any point in time and pray the same thing over and over trying to force my mind into not wandering at all and paying careful attention to the words I pray, while quickly praying in fear of having another intrusive thought; but this has been bothering me less recently And I've also struggled with faith ever since OCD got worse. It's the reason I started to listen to Christian music.

@Anonymous yea I had that too where I had to stop everything. I really hope you get better I know you can I've seen some improvement with me too. before I went to bed every night I used to spend over an hour praying with my eyes closed and I started having to pray outloud so I got everything right. I didn't know I had ocd then but I stopped one night to see what happened and I was ok but I've struggled with it since.

@pruni Hope you get better too, and I know God can help us all here