If youre reading please help. Ok so i have a friend i grew up with. We used to hang out more but now its kind of off and on. So thing is she came out and ever since I just felt weird. We used to have this other friend group and our other friend was a guy who was gay. Anyways when my one friend came out she was saying stuff like you choose who you love well me and my other friend were like no people dont choose to be gay they are born like that. Anyways fast forward to now and i just feel really off. Shes gotten all these tattos and dresses more butch. And it makes me uncomfortable. Idk. I never felt uncomfortable around my guy friend. But with her its really weird. We started hanging out again and my dad doesnt like it that shes gay and she also went through alot and my dad just thinks that it means shes a bad influence. I made the mistake of telling him shes gay and my dad was fine with her before that. I really have no idea if im just letting that get in the way (other peoples thoughts) or if i just dont feel comfortable with her anymore. I think i used to be ok but now she really only hangs out with gay guys most of the time. Idk it’s really weird whenever she brings up dating girls. We made plans to go hang out later this week and im just so confused. I really only have two friends rn and i feel like cutting each one out for different reasons. But then ill be left with no one. But then im like thats not a reason to not cut people off.... so im at a loss! Idk when it comes to friends I really dont know if im going about this the right way.

"Pure" OCD

Jaretzy

Date posted: 4y

It think your just not used to someone who’s lesbian maybe gay yeah and it’ll take time for you to get used to it. And plus with your negative thoughts you’ll overthink too much when it’s not such a big deal matter of fact most the time she probably won’t like you like that cause she knows your straight. So nothing to fear about rejecting her cause she probably doesn’t see u that way. And maybe she’s just being open about herself more and feels confident so u should be happy. She’s happy. I think you will be feeling off for a while but once u think about it it’ll be the same just as with a gay guy friend. I personally think it’s because your the same gender you feel different but like I said give it time and if u overthink to much just know it’s not you talking it’s the ocd. And with the choice thing sometimes it is a choice but sometimes it’s not I feel like it’s not a choice but u can choose to keep feeling what u feel and come out. Idk

Jaretzy

Date posted: 4y

I had a bi friend and sometimes I would just think of him as gay to be more comfortable and sometimes I’d be like um what if he likes me but either way I know I don’t like him and he knew it so. Basically when there’s a chance that one of your friends might like u your just scared it’s gonna ruin your friendship because u don’t feel the same deep down and it makes u uncomfortable but at the end of the day u can sit and talk with them and say hey have u ever liked me or etc so it doesn’t get worse

Coul.C

Date posted: 4y

Thanks for the reply. Im not worried about her having feelings for me. Besides the fact that she has a specific type i look nothing like i no thats not a line either of us would ever ever want to cross. I guess its just the crowd she hangs out with? And the fact the she has changed her appearance? Idk sounds shallow but i dont know what else it could be

Coul.C

Date posted: 4y

@Coul.C Besides that and other peoples thoughts

Jaretzy

Date posted: 4y

@Coul.C Yeah no worries and ohhh I see. Well honestly if you don’t like her friends tell her because sometimes you might be right

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