If youre reading please help. Ok so i have a friend i grew up with. We used to hang out more but now its kind of off and on. So thing is she came out and ever since I just felt weird. We used to have this other friend group and our other friend was a guy who was gay. Anyways when my one friend came out she was saying stuff like you choose who you love well me and my other friend were like no people dont choose to be gay they are born like that. Anyways fast forward to now and i just feel really off. Shes gotten all these tattos and dresses more butch. And it makes me uncomfortable. Idk. I never felt uncomfortable around my guy friend. But with her its really weird. We started hanging out again and my dad doesnt like it that shes gay and she also went through alot and my dad just thinks that it means shes a bad influence. I made the mistake of telling him shes gay and my dad was fine with her before that. I really have no idea if im just letting that get in the way (other peoples thoughts) or if i just dont feel comfortable with her anymore. I think i used to be ok but now she really only hangs out with gay guys most of the time. Idk it’s really weird whenever she brings up dating girls. We made plans to go hang out later this week and im just so confused. I really only have two friends rn and i feel like cutting each one out for different reasons. But then ill be left with no one. But then im like thats not a reason to not cut people off.... so im at a loss! Idk when it comes to friends I really dont know if im going about this the right way.

This isn't OCD related at all, not even a little, and I'm really sorry, but I feel so panicked and overwhelmed right now and I need an outlet. So basically, I have this friend and we met online shortly after Christmas, not irl. We got on really well. I felt like I could tell them anything. Whenever I felt sad (which was quite often) they would help so much by just being there for me. Sending cute and reassuring tiktoks to me. I felt like they were the nicest ever. I told them stuff other people might judge me for. They never judged me and they never seemed judgemental. I started noticing some things, like their reposts on Tiktok. I noticed years ago they reposted something very anti LGBTQ+. It hurt, I couldn't understand it. I asked them about it, and they didn't exactly seem like they did hate LGBTQ+ people. I moved on, still unsure. I found recently they reposted something else. I wasn't sure whether this was super offensive, but the tone of the original post FELT offensive. I have a strong moral compass, and these things got to me so much because I'm attached to this person. And then today, I find another thing they reposted, this time about immigration. It had a strong racist tone. I know now that I need to cut them off. I don't want people like that in my life. It's one thing having different views, but I firmly stand by the idea that you should agree with those around you about things like this. But I'm so distressed. I feel so attached to them. None of this seems like them at all. They seem like such a kind, non judgemental person. I would sit waiting for their text. I would feel so happy to hear from them. We text non stop. We have loads in common. They never judged me. I thought I finally found someone who actually wanted to be my friend, who actually liked me. I'm going to feel empty and numb, and I'm trying not to cry while writing this. Who will I have? Nobody to expect a text from. Nobody to ask about my day. Nobody to send me cute pictures to cheer me up. I actually feel like I'll never get past this. I feel so lonely all the time and they were there for me when no one else was. I feel so numb and I'm terrified. Sorry again that this isn't OCD related. I just didn't know what to do.

I was doing very well with all my thoughts but then they started to get really bad this week. I am very sure I am straight and only want to be with a man but I have such good relationships with my girl friends and my mind plays tricks on me and likes to make me think it’s more than just a friendship. And this voice in my head tells me it’s not disgusting when in reality I would never do anything physical with them at all.But they get so intense I start to believe it. I just am not sure how to get out of this cycle. Every time I get better I think about getting in a relationship with a man and i freak out (what if i don’t like it? does that mean ill have to be gay) and all these thoughts blow up in my face and so can’t take it anymore. My bestie is coming to visit me and the thoughts get so intense when she is around and i really want to be in a good head space to spend time with her because i know deep down she’s my best friend and nothing more. Any suggestion to help?

So i started to feel like a lesbian again and that i have to be one. I dont want to be one. I just dont. But being straight feel like a lie now. I question my whole life, my feelings and everything. The biggest indicator of this must be that i will be slowly 21 year old and ive never dated anyone and i dont really find anyone attractive and i dont even know if i truly was attracted to someone and im scared of relationships i might have trauma or have anxious avoidant attachment. Help me. I do feel lost. Really lost. I dont know who am I anymore. I feel like that i must have been gay my whole life now. I feel like an alien. I sometimes feel like 2 people are living inside of me.😞😞😞